Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 21, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 June 1891 — Josh Billings' Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

Josh Billings' Philosophy.

I have 2 hats One iz a shocking bad one and the other iz a gem; and i notiss when i hav the gem on i git double the nuds, on the avenue, from pedestrians Thwe iz lots bv folks who are no use tew yu only when yu are on the topmost wave, and then their voices are lost 'in tlie general chorus. Wimmin aro not all coquets, but. tbare never wuz one yet who didn't luv to be called one. Take all the vanity and selphishness out ov a roan, and thare ain’t mutch ov anything else left. Good clothes make the impreshun, but they don't mako the man. I have got a patteut rite way tew induce people-lew he happy. It iz thi<: make everyboddy think they are totter oph than yu arc. After all, the world pays their greatest homage to vlrtew and branes. Thank God for this. Tbare are certain things in this world that aro bound tow win, i don’t kare what trumps are A man may hav branes, and yet not make a hit: but lie kanH make a hit unless he haz the branes. I don’t want tew be left alone with an Atheist. Mi fust feeling iz fear that lightning will strike both ov us: when that subsides i am filled with anger. It is kind ov i bunny that the more christianized the world bekums. the more laws and officers of tbe law we hav tew hav.