Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 May 1891 — THE DINKLEMANS. [ARTICLE]

THE DINKLEMANS.

The Easiest Way May Be the Beat, bat Not Always the Most Enjoyable. “I am shust tired mid dose vindows,” said Jakey, bitterly.- “I cannot vash dem mid my hands und de ladder vill fall me down. Vat to do I know not.” Our young friend was making an effort to clean the windows of the store and the above conversation was addressed to his mother. Just then the old gentleman came out, and hearing what Jakey had said, answered: “My poy, don’t make von fool mit yourself. De easiest vay is alvays de best. Now, vot is de easiest vay to clean dot vindows? Vy, take a big tin cup und drow de vater up mid dem, ain’did?” “But,” answered Jakey, “I has me von sore arm. I can’t drow de vater so high.” “Oh, dot is monkey-doodle business. Do de vay I say und you pe all right.” Mr. and Mrs. Dinkleman went into the store and Jakey, left to himself, began to think it all over. “De easiest vay is de best, eh ? Vy de old man alvays puts his mouth mid my business ? I have me a sore arm, so vy he don’t do dot himself? But I will get me square!” When Jakey got through with the windows he began throwing the water up against the glass door. Inside he could see that his father was getting ready to go out. He would have to go through that door. It would not do to let him have a cup full of the water deliberately, so Jakey turned his back to the door as if he had finished, held the cup in his hand ready for action at a moment’s notice, and reflected on the window on the other side of the narrow street he pould see his father’s every movement. He saw him pull his silk hat further over his eyes; he saw him put his hand on the knob; he saw above all his chance to get even. Like a flash he turned without looking up, filled the cup and let the water fly in the direction of the door. It caught old Dinkleman square in the face. It blinded him. He threw out his hands to catch hold of something and his arms fell around the neck oi one of the clothing dummies. It fell over, but he still held on. Down the .steps and onto the sidewalk rolled the real man and the stuffed one. A crowd quickly gathered. “Help!” “Murder!” “He’s killing him!” “See how pale the little fellow is! ” Then a policeman ran up and endeavored to separate the contestants. He was so mad when he found out it was a dummy that he had mistaken for a murdered man that he wanted to arrest poor Dinkleman. The old f ello w slipped a $5 bill into his hand and the bluecoat scattered the crowd and Dinkleman went into the store, Jakey following. What followed we will have to guess'" at; but in a little while there was a good deal of noise in the Dinkleman house and it would be safe to bet that the young scoundrel could not satisfactorily explain how he came to “soak” his father, and the old man, working on the plan that “the easiest way is the best,” just “licked him quite soundly and sent him to bed.” —New York Mercury.