Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 May 1891 — JOHNNIE CHAFFIE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

JOHNNIE CHAFFIE

He Writes on Various Subjects of Interest.

HE walking match not indorsed by Johnnie—A good suggestion in regard to pedestrians— Mr. Chaffie expresses his dislike for dogs— He is also very severe on dudes Some cynical remarks about Wall street.

Mistur Editor : Thore wos a walkin’ Match at madison square garden and we went to see it but it was a fizzle par said in texas he never could walk very far unless he ha£ a hoss to ride he last. We was charged fifty cents to get in then par quit laffin and lookt seeryoua. Walkin matches is very good perhaps par said the pedestryana should not walk 500 miles in a suckle, why so askt mar. Becos says par if they Walkt in a strait line for a few miles they would Get drowned bekos new york Is a niland surrounded by water

and they would walk off the edge which would be a good thing, henery henery says mar you should know even if you are from texas that awl islands is surrounded by watar when a |oiland is not surrounded by water it is an archypelega—i am shockt at your ignorance of fizzvology says mar i last: I read in the bible that Enoch walkt with god 800 years, but par says he did not beleave it; henery, henery says mar i amafrade you are an amathyst. I drawed a pictur of a mounted park perliseman on a hoss in texas we never walk unless we have a ho<s to ridemar admirird the park perliseman and said he was a reglar cur-de-lean and

sat on his hoss like an Apollyon mar is well up in algeebray— Menny ladies goes around in new york tied to dorgs—if my wife says par went to the dorgs thatter way i’d soothe her with a trunk strap no you Wouldn’t henery says mar—mabbe dorgs has flees and highdrofoby but they don’t kuss and smoke bad seegars and go to bed with Their butes on as do some gentlemen this was a hit at par he kep qniet Atter that. Then we saw some doods par sneered do not make fun of them invalids says mar for they has catarr—not much says par That is their imported inglish axsent. Ime down on doods says par there Is not much difference between them and a munkey but the difference is in favor of the munkey—i told par some doods

wore fawls bangs i whish says par i had a club ide give them several bangs where it wood doo them the most good —wen * man is long on kollars he is sure to be short on branes—A dood is wusa than an emetic bekos the emetic dont make you sick unless you swaller it, but a dood makes you sickern a dorg just to look at it—of late par has been Down on waul street and the stock exchange he says the only thing on waul street that aint watered is whisky mar said she knowed that by His breth noo york is Not as big as Texas but it is a grate place to .Enjoy yourself if you have muney. Johnnie Chaffie. — A. E. Street, in Texan Siftings. A Sketch of Horace Greeley. In a little seven-by-nine room, in one of the upper stories of the old New York Tribune building, many years ago, I frequently saw a man with a very round bald head and a fringe of nearly white hair under his chin. He sat at a desk which was almost on a level with his shoulders. He was somewhat careless in his dress, and being very near-sighted, he leaned down upon the desk, describing almost the segment of a circle in the lines as he wrote. This was Horace Greeley, the founder and chief editor of the Tribune.—St. Nicholas. Found at Last. Mrs. Gargoyle (introducing friend)— Mr. Hunker, this is Mr. Snow, the father of the lovely Miss Snow, whom you so much admire. Hunker (extending his hand) —I am exceedingly happy to meet the author of the beautiful Snow.—Brooklyn Life. Better Ha>e Said Nothing. Elderly Aunt—My dear. I have just put you down in ray will for SIO,UOO. Her Niece—O, auntie, what can I say lo thank you. How are you feeling to-day "l—Life.