Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 May 1891 — HOW TO EAT ’POSSUM. [ARTICLE]

HOW TO EAT ’POSSUM.

A Dialect Story as Told by Congressman Coleman, of Louisiana. Only those who have enjoyed an acquaintance outside of business relations with the modest Representative from the Second Louisiana District know that Hon. Hamilton Dudley Coleman is one of the best story tellers ever a member of Congress. A year or two ago, it was at a club, after a promising meeting of one of the American shipping conventions, that a score or more of gentlemen were enjoying a lively run of such stories as “set the table in a roar.” Mr. Coleman was called upon by a companion and told what is given below, being twice encored, so inimitably did he tell it. It is the story of an old plantation negro. “If yuh wants to know what’s good, des lis’en : You look at de ’possum and smack vor lips, fer he a big, fine feller. Den yuh take ’em an’ go rite bac home, an’ jes’ fo’ yuh git to de do’ yuh take yo’ axe-helve au’ put ’em across de neck an’ brake de neck by pullin’ of de tail. Den yuh take ’im in de house an’ de ole ’oman done lef’ a great big fireplace heep full hick’ry ashes; yuh takes de shubble an’ opens er big hole in dem pile er ashes an’ draps dat ’possum in dar; an’ when yuh takes ’im outer dar he hair dess pull off dess as easy, an’ yph put ’im in some hot water an’ scrapes ’im wider case knife an’ he cums dess as clean. Den yuh takes out de intrals, hangs ! im up an’wash’m good; den yuh salts ’im down and puts ’im away twel Monday mawnin.’ Monday mawnin’ cum, de old ’owroan takes ’im out an’ parbiles ’im good; den she gets ’bout peck of taters, an' den slices dem taters an’ piles ’em all ober ’im, an’ den she bakes him twel de greese run all fru dem taters. Den she takes ’im out an’ puts ’im in de big dish an’ sets ’im on de dinner table wid de taters piled up all over ’im. Yuh cum ter dinner from der fiel’ an’ yuh walks in an’ sets down to de table, but yuh doan’ eat dat ’possum den. Eh! eh! eh! eh! “No sah! doan’ eat dat possum den. Arter dinner yuh takes ’im an’ de taters an’ sets im up in decubburd. Bimeby yuh cums home frum de day’s wuk; ter yuh comes home for ver supper. Yure mity w'ornout;feryer ben wukin’ in de fiel’ ha’d all day. Yer sits down outside de cabin do an’ takes yer pipe an’ smokes. Tore long Ephrem says: “ ‘Daddy, daddy,” thupper's ready.’ “But yuh dess sets dar? yer doan’go in at all. Yer wait twel de ole ’oman an’ de chillun go off to bed—slio nuff. Den yuh knock de ashes out yer pipe an’ goes in. Yuh moves the little squr’ table front de fire an’ puts yer chu clos up dar by it. Den yuh goes to the cubburd an’ gets de ’possum an de taters. Yuh puts’im on de table. Yuh tel de old ’oman fur to go out an’ lock de do.’ Den dar yuh is! Yuh an’de ’possum, all by yerselves —tergedder. Yuh frows de ole hat on de flo’, takes yer seat in dat char an’ gibs up yer soul to Gprd”— Chicago Journal.