Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 April 1891 — Josh Billings' Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

Josh Billings' Philosophy.

How menny snspishus people one meets in this world. If their riozcs waz stuffed with kotton wool they would smell some kind of a fat. Most ov the animiles and insex (az well az the men) liv on each other; but the spider iz the meanest in the whole lot, for they set traps for their viktims, and don’t even bait their traps. What should we do if it wasn’t for the churches? Thare iz plenty ov people who kant worship God, only in a church. If they were out in a field on a Sabbath day, they would at once become lawless, and fall to digging out wookchucks or hunting for bumble-bees’ nests. Give every one you meet, my boy, the time ov day, and haff the road: and if that don’t make him civil, don’t waste enny more fragrance on the c iss. Sum pholks are naturally so kross and krabbid that it is an insult tew them tew ask them tew be polite. Yu might as well ask a dog tew take the krook out ov his tale, and be a gentleman. People worth noticing should never forget that everyth! ig they say and do iz watched by someboddy: and it is equally true that the good things are generally forgot, but the bad ones never. I phully appreshiate the proverb, “that speech iz silv< r. but silence iz golden:” but i must say that sum of the most diskreet phools that i hav ever met hav been those who never \entured an opinyun on enny subjekt. What iz happier tew meet than a good temper? It iz like the sun bi day and the soft harvest moon bi night. There iz a grate deal oz religion in this world that iz like a life preserver—only put on at the moment of extreme danger, and put on then, haff the time, hind side before. ,