Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 April 1891 — HOW THE MILLENNIUM CAME. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

HOW THE MILLENNIUM CAME.

A Ealky Horse Causes Deacon Tracey to Let Go a Few Pent-Up Oaths. Just out of Bennington, Vt., lived Deacon Tracey, and one day a brother of his died and willed him a horse. The animal came to him from a distance of seventy-five miles, and whether it was a change of scene or a-streak of natural cusseduess in him no one could say, but he “took fits.” He would balk on the slightest excuse and often with no excuse at all, and the Deacon would have to hold himself in and fool around until the beast got ready to go on. He would have got rid of him, but nobody wanted the horse, and in hopes that he might have a change of heart the deacon continued to drive him in and out of town. One day he got notice that a clergyman of his faith was coming to spend a short vacation with him, and drove in to meet the train. Instead of the clergyman, who was not very well known to him, he picked up a Boston drummer who was out on a vacation and who wanted to go to the next farm beyond the Deacon’s. Neither had time for any questions before the horse balked. “What’s up?” asked the stranger as the rig came to a stop. “He’s balked,” answered the Deacon. “Well?”

“Wall, I can’t do nothin’ with him. We’ve got to wait for him to get ready.” “That’s a of a note!” growled the drummer.

“W-what?” gasped the Deacon. “ Why, him, the way is th get out and cut out of his hide,” said the drummer.

“Say! say!” called the Deacon, as he chewed on his tobacco with fifty times the usual rapidity of motion, “you are swearing!” “Well, such a cussed, infernal beast ought to bo sworn at. Get up and give him . I” “Lands! but there you go again! Say, has the millennium come ?” “I guess she has.” “And we can all swear?” “That’s what ails Hanner.” “Good! I’ve been holding in for two years on this beast, thinking it was wicked. If you, a minister of the gospel, can use profanity, it can’t be wicked in me, and now you hang on to the seat and I’ll wallop out of him so that he will remember it all his life!”

“WHAT'S UP” ASKED THE STRANGER.