Democratic Sentinel, Volume 14, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 November 1890 — FUNNY TALK. [ARTICLE]

FUNNY TALK.

Wool-in mill —A prize fight between, negroes. A preferred creditor —One who never' presents his bill. You may find hens in a hennery, but don’t look for bats in a battery. “What kind of a life is your husbandi living now?” “Exemplary.” “Where ishe?” “In jail.” Stern parent—Young man, can you. support a family? “Please, sir, all I wants is Sarah.” Farmer (making for a fence, chasedh by a mad bull)—lt’s a toss-up which, reaches the fence first. “On. I wish I d been a man!” cried! Mrs. Bjonsen. “I wish to heaven you. had!” retorted Mr. Bjonsen. Customer —Seems to me that razor israther dull. Barber —Mought be, sah. I was to a pahty las’ night, sah. A curious phenomenon: “I wonderwhat makes Mr. Tompkins’ complexion, so furiously red?” “Drinking so much* pa!e ale.” Bloomer—Which do you prefer, beer or champagne? Blossom. —It all depends. Bloomer—On what? Blossom —On whopays for it. Man of the house (to the peddler)—Get . out of here or I’ll whistle for the dog. Peddler —Veil, now, vouldn’t you like to buy-a nice vistle? Miss Bashful—l don’t like the way your husband calls me “dearest.” Mrs. Jones—Oh, yon must not mind him. Heeven calls me that. Wickars—They tell me, Professor, that you have mastered all the modern, tongues. Prof. Polyglot—All but two—my wife’s and her mother’s. “Tendimes make one dollar,” said theschoolmaster. “Now go on, sir. Ten dollars make one —what?” “They make? one might glad these times.” A little girl said, “Mamma, have you. heard of the man that got shot?” “No, child, how did he get shot?” “Oh,” said the precocious, “hq bought ’em. ” He—Then you’ll not accept my suit, Miss’Btuckup? She—Thanks, no. It’s, rather too pronounced a pattern, and I’ve? no grown-un brothers it would fit A learned writer declares that butter was unknown to the ancients. This makes it harder than ever to account for the flavor of some we have tasted. Some men never take a joke, Therewas an old doctor who, whan asked whatwas good for mosquitoes, wrote back, “How do you suppose I can tell unless I know what ails the mosquito?” A father of three sons and five daughters was asked what family he had. 4Lhe? answer was: “I have three sons, and they have each five sisters. “Mercy!” replied the interrogator, “such a family!” “Is that a love letter?” asked oneyoung lawyer of another, Who was poring busily over some closely written sheets. “Oh, no,” replied the other, confusedly. “It’s just a writ of attachment. ” Prize-fighter Dempsey says that thering affords the best and the most delightful exercise of any athletic sport.