Democratic Sentinel, Volume 14, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 October 1890 — Page 4

IDe gtmocraticgtntinei RENSSELAER, INDIANA. I. W. McEWEN, - - - PDBUBHn

A rich find cf silver is reported to lave been made in Calhoun County, Alabama, in ■what appears to be a mine formerly worked by Indians. The ore is mid to assay 60 per cent, of pure silver.

J. H. Spangler, of Fontano, Lebanm County, Pa., three years ago brought i sprout of a banana tree from Florida and planted it. It has grown to a Height of twelve feet and has leaves Ive feet long.

Gov. Mellette of South Dakota, with three other gentlemen, recently itarted out for a few days’ hunting. They became lost and nearly died of itarvation and thirst on the prairie. In in exhausted condition a cowboy found ;hem and conducted them home.

An Irishman of Company D, Third Maine, was eloquently describing the first battle of Bull Bun, in which he had been one of the promptest participants. A member of the Seventeenth Maine asked Pat: “Did you run?” “Faith, and I did,” replied Pat, “and the fellows that didn’t are there yit!”

J. D. Smith is a crippled tax collec-tor-of Charleston, Me. So great is the sympathy of his neighbors foriiim that, although he is able to move about, the taxpayers all help him to perform his duties in an effective manner, and men have been known actually to take him to where he could attach their property.

John French, of Des Moines, told little Willie Campbell that there was ao such locality as Heaven. Mrs. Campbell at once brought suit against him lor $5,000 damages, and she would not let up until she had spent $175 and the ;ase had been thrown out of court, ishe’ll be certaiu of it when she gets there.

A Piute brave walked into the Col- * * • .... r - . e 4V--fax Sentinel office (o see the paper printed. He was in full dress, with leather and linen duster. The foreman asked “Afraid-to-wash-his face” why he was not in the hop field. He said: ‘Me no like pickum hops, too much jtickum hands. My woman get $1.75 a day/'

“Our next issue will be our last,” writes a Georgia editor. “We are satisfied the people of this town can jet along without us, for we have been jetting along without the people for six months past. There are some subicriptions owing, but we will not collect them, as the citizens will soon need die money to defray the funeral expenses of the town.”

It is remarkable bow the French hold on to the monopoly of crystallizing fruit. It is not pi'etended that French fruits are superior to ours, or that they begin to compare with California products; but although workmen have been brought over from France for the purpose, the industry never seems to have gained a substantial footing in this country.

A number of Sfax fishermen, near Tunis, were sitting the other day round a fire which they had kindled on the shore, when suddenly there was a terrible explosion from the heart of the burning mass, one person being killed and several seriously wounded. It was subsequently found to be the explosion of a shell which had lain under the sand since the French bombardment in 1881.

Driven nearly to insanity by the cruelty of her wealthy husband, Frau Augusta Shley, the wife of a prominent Berliner, drowned herself and her 15-year-old daughter in a river near Berlin the other day. Before leaping into the water the mother and child wept bitterly, then kissed and embraced and died locked in each other’s arms, having struggled fiercely with the fishermen who strove to rescue them. A New Zealand paper reports something entirely new in the sporting line. At a horse race the course lay across the sands at Okaroa bay, and, through delay, the tide rose so high that the horses had to swim some distance before the winning post was reached. The result was that one of the animals, which would otherwise have been beaten, came off victorious, on account of superior natatorial powers.

The Indians near Elk Rapids, Mich., cannot be persuaded to cross Bass Lake in winter or summer, and although it is full of the best fish they never will cast in its waters. They have a legend that many moons ago, while fisning in the lake, one of their number was seized and borne beneath its dark waters by a great, big, horrid monster, just like the one claimed to have been seen this season by several parties. They tell this little story of Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe, with needless apology based upon her age and mental infirmity. Walking in a friend’s garden one day, she asked the gardener: “Have you ever read‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin?”’ The perplexed fellow slowly unbent himself. He was unwilling to wound the sensibilities of Mr 3. Stowe, and he wished to say the most for himself. And so he felt himself getting very red as he stammered: “Well, not exactly, ma’am. Not as you might say ‘read it,’ but I’ve tried to, ma’am.” lowa has passed a stringent tramp law. It declares that any male person sixteen years of age or over, who is

physically able to work, who is wandering about begging or idle and who can not show reasonable efforts to secure employment, shall be deemed a tramp, sent to jail and put to hard work. While in jail he shall not be allowed tobacco, liquors, sporting or illustrated newspapers, cards or any other means of amusement. The tramps will give lowa a wide berth.

James Bailey, of Birmingham, Ala., the king of voudoo doctors, is in jail. He worked the colored folk for miles about his home and was ruling things in great style. He might be a free man now. only he went to the house of a colored woman in Birmingham the other dav and got into trouble. Ho told the woman that a pot of gold was buried in her garden, but said it could not be fbund unless he had gold in his hands. She gaye him a pair of gold earrings to hold, when he decamped. She promptly had him arestel-

Bismarck is one of the largest landowners in Prussia, and he carries on successfully at his various estates the business of cattle-breeding, geesebreeding, distilling spirits, brewing and the manufacture of yeast. His cattle and geese industiies yield him an annual piofit of $3,500 to $4,500, and the annual income from his yeast business, the most important item in the ex-Chancellor’s income, is about $34.000. His jewels, pictures and plate represent a value of $500,000, and his total income is not far from $175,000 a year.

William F. Murdoch is the name ol a youth livipg near Lynn, Mass., who is bound to achieve greatness, though he has to create the opportunity himself. Taking advantage of the present frequency of train-wrecking, he put a rail across the Boston and Maine tracks the other night, and then, with great apparent bravery, saved a train from going to run over the obstruction. In trying io collect a reward he was detected and obliged to confess the ludicrous plot. It was a discouraging be ginning for the career of a hero,’ but it displayed a willing spirit. —2— -c at —l “Why is whiting or soap rubbed all over the inside of the windows of a new building?” was the question I put to a master builder in the doorway of a new structure. I always thought it was for the purpose of obstructing the view, so that workmen inside would not be abstracted by objects outside. “It’s a warning to the workmen for the protection of the glass.” was his reply. “Before the glass is put in the window apertures are used daily to pass boards, scantling and timber in and out. The glass does not show unless it is daubed with whiting or soap, and any workman would be liable at any minute to shove a board through it.”

It is likely that some of the money confiscated by Napoleon will be accounted for, with interest, by the present French Government. Jean Thiery, a merchant in the Rhine provinces, died in IH7G. leaving a fortune of 50,003 louis d'or in Paris, and 800,000 thalers in the "Venice Mint. His heirs, for some unknown reason, did not draw the money from the depository in Venice, so at the end of the last century Napoleon found it still untouched, and appropriated it to the use of his army. For the last thirty years the descendants of Thiery have been trying to find a way of recovering the 800,000, thalers, with interest. It is said that the French government lias considered their claim, and advocated its payment.

BROKE OFF THE ENGAGEMENT.

A Young American Recants Her Promise to Marry an English Barrister. The English friends of Miss Nettie Carpenter, the yqjjng American violinist, are much put out over the manner

MISS NETTIE CARPENTER.

in which she has upset the plans which they had been instrumental in making for her marriage to a barrister named Thrushfield, who moves in high social circles, and has been regarded as quite a catch. But it appears that Miss Nettie has ideas of tne old-fashioned kind, that the sentiment of love should precede the exchange of marriage vows, and at almost the last moment she broke off the engagement. Miss Carpenter has resumed her musical studies, and for the time the god of love has been banished from her presence. She has been for two years in England studying the violin, and has made commendable progress. The young lady is twenty-three years of ago. Her real name is Storey.

At one time Gen. Custer tamed a tinv field mouse, and kept it in a large; empty inkstand on his desk. It grew very fond of him, and ran over his,head and shoulders and even through his hair. ■ • 1

THE COUNTY FAIR.

GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT OF A WORTHY INSTITUTION. Its Influence for Good Upon the Com-munity-Origin of the County Fair in the I'nlteU Stages—Fairs as Conducted in This Country and in Europe.

G the people in the I agricultural dfsf tricts. there are few B subjects of more H importance, in the t! autumn season of the year, than the 1 county fair. Searcely seventy years ifc/TllL have rolled by since the idea was origin|ated at Albany, N. Y., by a prosperous merchant named

Elkanah Watson. Rapidly has it grown in popularity until to-day statistics show that more than half of the 3,500 counties of the Union annually hold agricultural exhibits of some kind. Fairs, however, were held across the water long before such was ever known in this country. But the term here and there are by no means synonymous. In the United States it implies a variety of exhibits, especially of stock and agricultural products, together with good racing and other attractive features, while in Europe it signifies a place for the sale or purchase of various tilings—such as some new-fashioned article, provisions, the sale of cattle, lambs, wool or the annual produce. Owing to defective communication such fairs were very popular in the old world. Rome, Leipsic, Frankfort, Dublin. Greenwich and Glasgow each in their day was a famous market place, and buyers and sellers from all over the continent were

frequent visitors. Gradually have those fairs ceased to ba of value, and are extinct or changed to scenes of merriment to attract the masses. Various amusements accordingly are furnished there — foot-ball, wrestling, yawning, sack races, grinning through a horse-collar, greased pig. wheelbarrow races, etc.—resembling in some particulars some of the features of a fair of the present time in this

"THE TRADITIONAL PUMPKIN."

country. Many have been the changes wrought in half a century. People of this age see and enjoy things that to our forefathers would have been improbable and visionary. Numerous are the hardy pioneers who can recall the first attempt at anything like a fair in their county. Perhaps one yoke of cattle, a donkey, a span of mules, a mare and a colt was tlie sum total of the stock show, while the other things on exhibition would not furnish a small load for an ordinary overland peddler. So radical has been the change that a comparison is useless. To-day, with commodious buildings, extensive grounds and line race tracks, we arc well supplied with all the modern conveniences. A spirit of rivalry has aroused the hitherto latent enthusiasm of many a farmer and his household, and as autumn approaches the result of a summer’s labor is quite evident on observing the fattened cattle, hogs and sheep, the fine display of turkeys, geese, ducks, chickens, and the blooded draught, trotting or road horses. The machinery, culinary and art departments each contribute considerably toward making the fair a success. With an unlimited supply of fruits and cereals the programme is about completed. A passing notice, however, is due the timehonored pumpkin, and referring to it we do so in all reverence. In speaking of the traditional pumpkin all are aware of the fact that this magnificent vegetable has been often slandered and many things said of its size that might be questioned, but as for this article the truth will he strictly adhered to. ' In a county in Southern Indiana the pumpkin flourishes in all its grandeur, and its rapid growth was accordingly taken advantage of. Early in the season a certain fair association planted the seed, and. as the weeks passed, took good care of the tender plants until last week they matured. They then employed a number of meh and from these pumpkins constructed an amphitheater, various halls, stables, etc.,

COUNTRY FOLK GOING TO THE FAIR.

and besides will have surplus enough to furnish feed for the stock gratis. No other attraction than the fair can cause the rural people to attend so nearly en masse. The old. the young, the rich, the poor prepare to turn from the busy cares of lii- and enjoy themselves. The

interest in the county fair continues to increase year by year. Divers reasons can be assigned for the associations reaching this successful stage, among which are efficient officers, prohibiting gambling and drinking, and last, but not least, the people taking an interest and offering liberal patronage. Competition can in no way be better encouraged than by a prosperous fair. The county can conceive no iheans to better advertise her resources. Find a county with a poor county fair and you find a locality that does not extend a eordial welcome to capital or labor. The gala day arrives, and the farmer, giving his horses an extra rubbing, dons his best bib and tucker, and, with his family dressed in their Sunday raiment, and with a big, well-filled lunch basket, is

"ALL ABOARD FOR THE FAIR GROUNDS."

soon in the family conveyance and off to the fair. The journey is made, and the fun begins. Each pays his money and takes his choice. Amusements are there to suit the wants of all, regardless of age, race, creed, or color. For the verdant youth who for the first time is released from his mother’s apron strings, and is permitted to roam at his own sweet will, many are the things that will tickle his fancy. He covets everything he sees. Gladly would lie surrender his ticket for the next world rather than miss the fair. Pleasure untold, however, is not his lot till lie has invested his shekels in red balloons, hot taffy, and forms a partner-

RACING AT THE COUNTY FAIR.

ship with “White Mule & Co.” for an excursion on the merry-go-round. Oh, what a grand time! As for the merry maiden, she does not materially differ from the youth of the opposite sex except where thoughtful mothers keep a watchful eye and interfere with such boy-like proceedings. The juveniles do not alone enjoy the fair. The young dudelet just out of short jackets, with a little fuzz gathering on his upper lip,, with his first paper collar, and the young miss, as she emerges from the nursery and abbreviated frocks, playing the role of sweetheart for the first time, they are there. In the meanderings of this couple many strange things come to their vision. Arm in arm, promenading as gracefully as two muscovy ducks,they are taking in the fair when cruelly and un» suspectingly the young escort is brought face to face with a variety of sportive signs that are calculated to make his pocketbook feel very hungry. During the day this couple offer an excellent target for the taffy and lemonade venders, who courteously extend them an invitation to stop, examine and invest. Does he invest? His exchequer is getting low, but Sal gives him an affectionate wink and his substance is wasted on hoky-poky, circus lemonade, popcorn and many other things found at a well-regu-lated fair. Eventually the day draws to a close, the sun begins to set behind a distant stock pen, the bullfrog in the pool commences his evening warble, the pollywogs in their native puddles prepare themselves for the shades of night, and the youthful couple reluctantly take their departure.

' Another kind of pleasure awaits the older people. To them the things so much prized by the children are of minor importance: they have come to see the people. Friends are met who have long been absent. Comments on the crops and fair are indulged in. The success or failure, the marriage or death, of an acquaintance or relative is freely discussed. A prominent feature of many fairs in recent years is the “Old Settlers’ Reunion.” A general good time is had. Good speakers arc obtained ,to address these venerable people, and together with many reminiscences constitute a programme that is quite interesting. Perfection in county fairs as in many other ventures lias not yet been attained. But does this signify they are not a success? We appreciate the varieties of taste and refrain from making suggestions. but believe that improvements canid be made in even the best of our county fairs. Already such rapid advancements have been made as to surpass the expectations of the most sanguine. Let the good work go on until the people of every county are so aroused and impressed as to be stimulated to more earnest endeavors toward making their fair an ideal one and a booming success. Hiram W. Thomas.

What sacrifice a woman will not make for the man she loves, and what sacrifice a man will not permit a woman to make for him, are two things not yet discovered.

SIMPLE BUT SUGGESTIVE.

GEORGE WASHINGTON.

His Fifty-Seven Knlea of Behavior. Through the instruction of his mother, Washington early became interested in matters classed under the general name of etiquette. His father was a gentleman of courtly manners, and his half-brothers. Augustine and Lawrence, had homes in which all the observances of polite society were kept. Washington, too, was often a visitor at the home of Hon. William Fairfax, the manager of the American estates of Lord Fairfax. after whom Fairfax County, Virginia, was named. Young Washington attended such schools as the neighborhood afforded, but entered early upon business for himself. He began land surveying at sixteen; at nineteen he was a Major, and at twenty-three a Colonel upon the staff of Gen. Braddock, and did much to prevent that officer’s defeat from becoming a slaughter of every one connected with the command. Before he was thirteen years of age Washington had compiled, and carefully formulated his observations and teachings into a code of rules, fifty-seven in number, which influenced all his future conduct in his large intercourse with his fellow-men. "Washington Irving says that “a better manual of conduct could not be put into the hands of a youth.” Many lads of this generation will, no doubt, be glad to place these rules in their scrap books for study and reference. They are as follows: 1. Every action in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those’ present. 2. Turn not your back to others, especially in speaking ; jog not the desk or table on which another reads or writes : lean not on any one. , 3. In the presence of others, sing not to yoorself with a humming noise, nor drum with your fingers or feet.

4. Sleep not when others speak ; stt not when others stand; speak not when you should hold your peace : walk not when others stop. 5. Be no flatterer; neither play with any one that delights not to be played with. 6. Bead no letters, books, or papers in company ; but, when there is a necessity for doing it, you must aßk leave. Come not near the books or writings of any one so as to read them, unless desired, nor give your opinion of them unasked; also, look not nigh when another is writing a letter. 7. Let your countenai:ca be pleasant, hut in serious matters somewhat crave. S. Show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another, though he w'ere your enemy. 9. When you meet with one of greater quality than yourself, stop and retire, especially if it be at a door or any strait place, to give’ way for him to pass. 10. They that are in dignity, or in office, have in all places, precedency; but, whilst they are young, they ought to respect those that are their equals in birth, or other qualities, though they have no other public charge. 11. It is goodimannerg to prefer them to whom we speak before ourselves, especially if they be above us, with whom in no sort we ought to begin. 12. Let your discourse with men of business be short and comprehensive. 13. In visiting the sick do not presently play the physician, if you be not knowing therein. 14. In writing or Bpeaking give to every perBonhisdue title, according to his degree and the custom of the place. 15. Strive not with your superiors in argument, but always submit your judgment to others with modesty. 16. Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself professes ;it savors of arrogance. * 17. When a man does all he can, though it succeeds not well, blame not him that did it. 18. Being to advise or reprehend any one. consider whether it ought to be in public or private, presently or at some other time, in what terms to do it; and, in reproving, show no signs of choler, but do it with sweetness and mildness. 19. Take all admonitions thankfully, in what time or place so ever given ; but afterward, not being culpable, take a time or place convenient to let him know it that gave them. 20. Mock not nor jest at auy hing of importance ; break no jests that are sharp-biting, and, if vou deliver anything witty and pleasant, abstain from laughing thereat yourself. 21. Wherein you reprove another, be unblamable yourself, for example is more prevalent than preceptß. 22. Use no reproachful language against any one ; neither curse nor revile. 23. Be not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement ot any. 24. In your apparel, be modest, and endeavor to accommodate nature rather than to procure admiration; keep to the fashion of your equals, such as are civil and orderly, with respect to times and places. 25. Play not the peacock, lookiDg everywhere about you to see if you be well decked—if your shoos fit well, if your stockings set neatly, and clothos handsomely. 2ti. Associate yourself with men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation, tor it is better to be alone than In bad company.

27. Let your conversation be -without malice or envy, tor it is a sign of a tiactable and commendable nature; and, in all causes of passion, admit reason to govern. 28. Be not immodest in urging your friend to discover a secret. 29. Utter not ba6e and frivolous things among grave and learned men; nor very difficult questions or subjects among the ignorant; nor things hard to he believed. 30. Speak not of doleful things in time of mirth, nor at the table; speak not of melancholy thing*, is death and wounds, and, if others mention them, change if you can the discourse. Tell not your dreams but to your Intimate friend. 31. Break not a jest where none takes pleasure in mirth ; laugh not aloud, nor at all without occasion. Deride no man’s misfortune, though there seem to be some cause. 32. Speak not iniurious words, neither in jeßt nor earnest; scoff at none, although they give occasion. 33. Be not forward, but friendly and courteous ; the first to salute, hear and answer ; and be not pensive when it Is time to converse. 34. Detract not from others, neither be excessive in commanding. 35. Go not thither, where you know not whether you shall be welcome or not. Give not advice without being a3ked, and, when desired, do it briefly. 36. If two contend together, take not the part of either unconstrained, and be not obstinate in your own opinion; in things indifferent, be of the major side, 37. Reprehend not. the imperfections of others, for that belongs to parents, masters and superiors. 38. Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of others, and ask not how they came. What you may speak in secret to your friend, deliver not before others, 39. Speak not in an unknown tongue in company, but in your own language, and that as those of quality do, and not as the vulgar; sublime mat- ers treat seriously.' 40. Think b.dore you speak." pronounce not imperfectly, nor bring out your words too hastily, but orderly and distinctly. 41. When another speaks, be attentive yourself and disturb not the audience. If one hesitate In his words, help him not nor prompt him without being desired; interrupt him not nor answer him till his speech is ended. 42. Treat with qaen at fit times about business, and w hisper not In the company of otherß. 43. Make no comparisons ; and. if "any of the company be commended for any brave aet of virtue, commend not another for the same 44. Be uot apt, to relate news, if you know not the truth thereof. In discoursing" ot-things you have heard, name not your author always. A secret discover not. 45. Be not curious to know the affairs of others, neither approach to those that speak in private. 46. Undertake uot what you cannot perform, but be careful to keep your promise. 47. When you deliver a matter, do it in that passion, and with discretion, however mean the j>erson Ire you ao it to. 48. When your superiors talk to anybody, harken not, neither speak nor laugh. 49. In disputes be not so desirous to overcome as not to give liberty to each one to deliver his opinion; and submit io the judgment of the major part, especially if they are judges of the dispute. 50. Be not tedious in discourse, make not many digressions nor repeat often the same manner of discourse. 51. Speak not evil of the absent, for it is unjust. 52. Make no show of taking great delight in your victuals ; feed not with greediness ; lean uot on the table; neither find fault with what you eat. 53. Be not angry at table, whatever happens, and, if you have reason to be so, show it not’; put on a cheer.ul countenance, especially If there be strangers, for good-humor makes one dish of meat a least. 54. Set not yourself at the upper end of the table; but, if It L» your due, or that the master

of the house will have it so, contend not, lest. yon should trouble the company. 55. When yon speak of God, or His attributes, let it be seriously In reverenoe. Honor and obey your natural parents, although they be poor. 56. Let your recreations be manful, not sinful. 57. Labor to keep alive in your breast that> little spark of celestial Are, called conscience.

PETTICOATS MUST GO.

A .fife, RECOGNIZED A jggfc authority in the j % fashion world an- / 1 nounces that the # wjw/jL newest thing in petticoats is no petticoat at all. g*»¥\This assertion may gjuJuisLX credulity, hut ru * s a ac * ; ’ a * as k* /f WF ionable fact, perW haps, but nevertheless a fact. Itis bard to believe \nlthat woman would I ever ou^ve h er for the finecambric skirts with their cluster tucks,

open insertions, and Swiss embroidered ruffles, but she has, and. more than that, she scorns the lace-edged French* skirt, and would not give thirty cents for the finest convent-made flannel skirt in stock. At first it seemed, positively shocking to lay aside that) most feminine and really beautiful garment, but the fashionable modiste began the crusade, declared that she* could not fit the dress nicely over the gathered cotton underwear, and ordered it off. The tyrant was obeyed, but not surprised, for did she not eliminate the narrow-skirted, round-shonl-dered chemise and the lozenge-shaped! corset cover?

Skirts hang better and bodices fit, nicer the less there is under them, and in warm weather when the dress is made over a lining there is really noinecessity for underskirts. With the tailor-made suit, silk lined, there insufficient warmth for cold days. This new arrangement is an advance in the. right direction. Women need fewer! clothes for house wear and more wrapsl or outer garments for the street. This desire for smoothly fitting skirts and creaseless basques means rebellion, against the baggy, divided skirts,, which will never be adopted by women who follow the stvle.

The Bottle Fad.

The bottle fad consists in writing a message of some sort and corking it up* in a bottle and sending the same afloat to be picked up somewhere else. I’ve found ’em by the dozen on the beach, and had ’em bob in to me on the breakers. The messages are generally dated in midocean and are about a leaking ship or a ship on fire, and the writerhas only a few minutes to bottle up in. Once in awhile the message is from, a cat-boat driven out to sea, or from some sailor floating on a wreck, and they are always interesting. There is no law against this bottle fid, and it acts as an escape valve. Those who practice it would be pointing unloaded guns or indulging in someother tomfool notion if they were debarred, and so no objections are raisedThe other day a bottle which was intended to go to sea, but which landed only half a mile away, contained a message written on the letter head of a hotel. It said: “Help wanted for 300 people stopping here and suffering from poor food, high charges and plenty of fleas.” The finder carried it to the hotel, the landlord began a quiet investigation, and at the end of twentyfour hours a smart Aleck of a young man, who had been the pet of the house, took a walk, and is perhapswalking yet.— Detroit Free Press. *

Some Peculiar People.

There are some peculiar folks in the world. As soon as some men learn to shave themselves they begin work on other people, toying to make them giveup the barber. With a strip of courtplaster on one cheek and a raw place under his chin, one of these men will tell what a nice thiDg it is for a man to shave himself. He will say that it is good exercise, and that he never cuts himself except by accident, though from the regularity with w"hich hewears court-plaster one would think that he had some design in mutilating himself. Akin to this fiend is the one who takes constitutionals before breakfast. He is an early riser, says hecan’t sleep after 4 a. m., and that thatis the proper time to get up. His constitutional gives him an appetite, hesays, and he proves it by breakfasting on oatmeal, sliced cucumbers, cold. codfish balls and dried apple pie, after which he takes a mild cigar and a glass of beer. He does this three times a week, and is sick the other four. He is nervous and dyspeptic, but attributes this to intellectual activity. At-thirty-five he goes into a museum as a living skeleton, !*at continues his constitutionals to keep up his muscle.

Cornering the Old Lady on the Milk Question.

“Judging from the flavor of this milk, I should say it was of the vintageof ’76,” remarked a Harlem girl whoenjoys the distinction of being what is known as a sweet girl graduate. “You may know a good deal, Sarah, but you seem to have neglected tolearn that milk doesn't belong to vintage. "Vintage refers to something that is taken from the vine.” “Why, mother,” returned the girl, didn’t you know that milk was taken, fiomavine?” “I did’t know anything of the kind,”' said the mother. “But it’s true,” insisted Sarah. “Oh, nonsense!” interjected materfamilias, “what vine':” “Bovine!” replied the girl, and theold lady was so flustered that she putpepper on her Charlotte Russe.

A Well-Matched Pair.

“That is a well-matched pair,” said a lady of a couple who- were passing along the street. “I do not see anything in their appearance that would lead me to think so,” remarked her companion. “Oh! but I know them,” was the rejoinder; “he pitches for a base-ball! - club, andw hen he does anything wrong she pitches into him.” Boston Courier ._ ■i <, ; ■ . Next to the virtue, the fun in this world is what we least can spare.