Democratic Sentinel, Volume 14, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 October 1890 — Josh Billings' Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

Josh Billings' Philosophy.

Bizzv boddys are like ants: alwus in a grate hurry about nothing. One grate reason whi every boddy likes the Falls ov Niagara so mutch iz, bekauze no one kan make one like it. Thare iz sum hope ov a man who iz wicked, but not weak. Debt iz like ennv other kind ov a trap—eazv enuff to git into, but hard enuff to git out ov. Thare iz no kind ov flattery so powerful, so subtle, and at the same time so agreeable az deference. Philosophy is a very good kind ov a teacher, and vu may be able tew live by it, but yu leant live on it. Hash will tell. Bare necessitys will support life no doubt, so will the works support a watch; but they both want greasing once in a while, jist a leetle. Lazyness weighs eighteen ounces to the pound. The history ov life iz tew hope and be disappointed, the viktory iz to “never say die.” The way tew Fame iz like klimbing a greast pole; thare aint but phew kan do it, and even then it don’t pay.