Democratic Sentinel, Volume 14, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 August 1890 — Page 10

Hlje gmoctaltcSentiwel RENSSELAER, INDIANA. «. W. McEWEH, - - - Ptmjran.

There are 797 daily and weekly German papers published in the United States and Canada. Domestic servants are so scarce in Montreal that women in want of help are said to visit the jail with a view to engaging young women to work for them at the close of their term of imprisonment. There is nothing pleasanter to use as a cure for rough or sunburnt skin than slices of raw cucumber. It is a much cheaper remedy than any of the preparations in bottles, and the best way is to cut off a slice and rub the juice well into the skin and then dry with a towel. A trial has been made at Civita Vecchia of a nautical ball invented by Signor Balsameljo. It is seven feet in diameter and can hold four persons. When closed it sinks, and is steered and propelled under water by rudder and screw. It has windows and grapplers, and, besides fishing up things, it may be used for destructive purposes in time of war. Salmon P. Chase's old law sign has been discovered, covered with dust and cobwebs, on a building formerly occu - pied by lawyers on Third street near Main, in Cincinnati. The name of Flamen Ball, for many years a prominent character in Cincinnati, appears on the sign as Chase’s law partner. It was in this building that the late Chief Justice and his distinguished partner had their law offices for several years. In a short time the Stin, the Times, the World and other New York dailies are to begin the use of typesettiu g machines. It is also announced that the printer of the Century Magazine is to have his typesetting done by machinery. A syndicate of book publishers has also made arrangements to put fifty or a hundred typesetting machines into a co-operative office, where all the body matter of cheap publications issued in New York will be turned out. A most peculiar case is reported from Edwardsville, 111. Mary A. Walsh, an orphan of 17, has been for some time suffering from severe pains in the head. An examination revealed the presence in the head of screw worms. These worms are developed from eggs deposited in the nose by the Texas fly. They average in size from one-half to three-quarters of an inch in length, and are one-quarter of an inch in diameter. Fifty-seven of the worms were removed.

The Empress of Germany has military tastes as well as her husband. At the late grand review on Templehoffield she was in the saddle for two hours, riding superbly, and leading her own regiment of cuirassiers past the Emperor. Her uniform as colonel was a habit of white cloth, embroidered on shoulders and collar with the red and silver colors of the regiment, and a three-cornered white felt hat with many ostrich feathers, in which she looked remarkably pretty. Stanley said on one occasion: I have always found tobacco a solace and an aid to concentration. I remember on one journey down the Congo we were just about to enter a most dangerous •country. I knew that a fight was inevitable, and I told my men to make ready. I took an observation, lighted my pipe, and smoked for five minutes to settle myself for action* We were fighting for our lives a few minutes afterward, and the battle went on for hours. Livingstone never smoked. Miss Mattie Hester is the United States mail-carrier over the route fiom Condar,, Laurens County, to Lothair, Montgomery County, Georgia, a distance of forty miles through a sparsely settled region, which she traverses three times a week. She drives her own mail-cart, carries a revolver, and is punctual as the sun at all seasons and In all weathers, Besides transporting the mails, she manages a farm, gets out lumber, splits fence rails and contrives to support a widowed mother, two younger sisters and a brother, while she i 3 not yet twenty years of age. J. M. Hering, of Sutter County California, has been granted a patent on an agricultural machine which ought to revolutionize something or other, inasmuch as it combines digging, subsoiling, pulverizing, planting and harrowing ; and in addition to .this, when curfew tolls the knell of parting day and lowing herds wind slowly o’er the lea, the operator can convert it into a tent or living-house and “put up” in it all night. The object ia to provide a complete farming machine, adapted to large farms, where hotel and boardinghouse accommodations are distant from the ground to be worked. Brussels, not content with having snore beautiful public buildings than any other European city save Paris, has now determined 'to rival Paris itself. King Leopold has just laid the foundations of an arch of triumph onethird larger than the celebrated one in Baris, and it is announced that this gigantic work will be comple ;ed by the closeof the century. Brussels already has the most monumental court house in all Europe—a magnificent pile, which cost vast sums of money and which contains some superb halls. The Paris triumph arch cost $2,000,000; that of Brussels is to cost $3,000,000. It will

be richly ornate with sculptures, some of which will be of gigantic proportions. J. W. Funk, a farmer ofr Heyworth, Til,, is one of the 14,000 inventors who are competing for the prize of $125,000 offered by the Goyernment of New South Wales for the trap which may be decided to be the most likely to be effective in ridding that country of its fearful pest of crop-destroying rabbits. He has received a letter from Australia saying that the committee which is to decide the matter has looked with favor upon his model, and inviting him to visit Australia and demonstrate the working of the trap. He will probably do so in a few weeks. The trap is simple and cheap. It is a device to dump the rabbits, one at a time, into a pit by means of a platform swung on pivots below a suspended bait. In a trap of similar device he caught fifty-seven rabbits in one night in a cornfield. A curious incident regarding a strait occurred during the Russian war: It would have been ludicrous, if anything can be ludicrous connected with war. Commodore Elliot was blockading a Russian squadron in the Gulf of Saghalin, on the east coast of Siberia. Thinking he had the Russians in a cul de sac, he complacently waited for them to come out, as the water was too shallow for him to attack them. As the enemy did not come out he sent in to investigate, and found, to his astonishment, that Russians and ships had vanished! While he had been awaiting for them in the south they had quietly slipped out by the north, teaching both him and the British government a rather severe lesson in geography, as it had been thought that Saghalin was an isthmus; and they were totally unaware of a narrow channel leading from the Gulf to the Sea of Okhotsk.

A father, when his daughter becam e a bride, gave her a golden casket with the injunction not to pass it into other hands, for it held a charm which in her keeping would be of inestimable value to her as the mistress of the house. Not only was she to have the entire care of it, but she was to take it every morning to the cellar, the kitchen, the dining-room, the library, the bed-room, and remain with it in each place for five minutes, looking carefully about. After the lapse of three years the father was to send the key, that the secret talisman might be revealed. The key was sent. The casket was opened. It was found to contain an old parchment, on which was written these words: “The eyes of the mistress are worth one hundred pairs of servants’ hands.” The wise father kne v that a practice of inspection followed faithfully for three years would become a habit and be selfperpetuated—that the golden casket and the hidden charm would have accomplished their mission.

Tendency to Specialism.

The increasing tendency to specialism in all trades and professions is nowhere more marked than in the medical profession, where the young M. D. finds himself, before Iris sheepskin is fairly in his hands, considering the desirability of the “throat and lungs,” or the “eye and ear,” or some other equally profitable combination of dis orders. The result is that the “family doctor” of the old time, who attended a family from birth to death, and who was the repository Of all its woes and weaknesses, is no longer a real existence. And the average well-doctored mortal who wishes to be reasonably careful with his health finds himself strangely divided up among half a dozen specialists. To one he intrusts the care of his eyes, to another his throat, to a third his digestion, to a fourth his nerves, and, if it please Heaven to afflict him with more disorders than these, he finds a “specialist” waiting down the road to welcome each one. No doubt there is a good healthy reason at the bottom of "-all this and real benefit to be derived therefrom. No doubt the marvelous strides of medical science within the last fifty years have made the necessity for the specialist, but it touches one’s sense of the comic to have the experience of a young woman who wished not long ago to" consult Dr. Smith, an eye and ear specialist. She went to a large building given up to the use of physicians. “Ton mistake, madam,” said the first physician to whom she presented herself, “I am not Dr. Smith for the eye and 6ar, I am Dr. Smith for the throat and lungs.” “And is that Dr. Smith for the eye and ear across the hall ?” “No, madam,” he answered gravely, “that is Dr. Smith for the heart and stomach. Dr. Smith for the eye and ear is five doors doW r n the corridor.”

Artemus Ward’s Last Joke.

Joseph Jefferson, in his autobiography in the Century, relates what was probably the last jest of Artemus When the famous wit lay dying in Southampton he was tended by his devoted friend “Tom” Robertson, the English playright, who was also a friend of Jefferson. “Just before Ward’s death,” writes Mr. Jefferson, “Robertson poured out some medicine in a glass and offered it to his friend. “Ward said: ‘My dear Tom, 1 can’t take that dreadful stuff.’ “ ‘Come, come,’ said Robertson, urging him to swallow the nauseous drug; ‘there’s a dear fellow. Do now, for my sake; you know I would do anything for you.’ ‘ ‘Would you?’ said Ward, feebly stretching out his hand to grasp his friend’s, perhaps for the last time. “‘I would, indeed,’ said Robertson. “ ‘Then you take it,* said Ward. The humorist passed-aw ay but a few hours afterward.”

Buttons.

A curious discussion of a quite unimportant matter arose lately in a party of ladies and gentlemen. Why is it, it was asked, that men’s garments alway« button to the right—that is, have tiie button-holes on the left side, while the garments of women commonly button the other way, from right to left? Trifling as the mattenvas, the people who discussed it found it interesting. It appeared, from a comparison of notes, that women reserve to themselves a certain amount of liberty in this matter, whereas men do not. Now and then a woman’s dress or cloak is found which buttons from left to right. Men often have double-breasted coats, but if the garment is buttoned to the left, it is a pretty sure sign that the left row of button-holes is quite unpresentable. A lady insisted that men’s uniformity in this regard is due to their being much more the creatures of habit than women are; but since three-quarters of the buttoned dresses and cloaks of the women present were buttoned to the left, this seemed to make them also the creatures of habit; but why the opposite habit V A scientific gentleman in the party declared that the whole thing had a foundation in scientific fact.* “Man,” he said, “possesses an eccentric movement—that is to say, a movement tending to fly to the center—whereas woman, on the other hand, is concentric in her movements. We may infer the inferiority of woman from this fact, because the eccentric movement, or movement of expansion, is indicative of superior physical and moral powers.” This explanation sounded well, and w r as flattering to the men of the party, but it was open to the objection that it meant nothing—or whatever meaning it had was beyond the comprehension of any one present, except the man of science himself. An old lady was finally appealed to to explain the fact. “I suppose,” she said, “that it’s because they’ve simply got in the habit of it.” “But how did they get in the habit of it?” “Because they had to get into some habit.” Since theib was nothing more to be said on the subject, the problem was given up.

Tactless.

There is a class of unfortunates one of whom is usually to be found in every school or community. They are often able, scholarly and witty; they have kind, generous hearts, yet they go stumbling stupidly through life, wounding the hearts and nerves of acquaintances and friends at every step. Mary Campbell belongs to this order of girls. She spends a winter in laboring faithfully with a Sunday-school class of poor children, and then mortally offends them by harshly telling them of their faults, and hoping that when they meet her in the autumn their conduct will be greatly improved. She anxiously recommends the minister, just after a tedious discourse, to study Ilobertson’s sermons as models of force and vivacity. She insists on talking to a man just married to a second wife of the virtues of the first. She gives handsome gowns and hats to her poorer cousins, and invariably adds, “Because you can’t afford it, you know, my dear.” When one does her a favor,if it be but the gift of a bunch of roses, she is careful to send before nightfall a present of at least equal money value. Her brother many years ago gave up drinking, but whenever she is with him now she harasses him with thanksgivings for his reform, and tells the story of his fall and victory to any stranger who may be present. With all these blunders, Mary’s intentions are kind, and it never has occurred to her that her instincts are not fine or her remark s delicate and sympathetic. “The most intolerable of all people,” remarks a witty American, “is the foolish man who means well.” Our French cousins called the unerring perception which enables us to say without fail the right thing in the right place the sixth sense. Some of us are born with it. It ri as natural a trait, indeed, in the American character as it is rare in that of some other peoples. It can be gained by cultivation of a kindly spirit, and the habit of placing ourselves momentarily in each man’s place before we speak to him.— Youth’s Companion.

Mutual.

“It is hardly possible to be original in such a big world as this,” said a dear old lady. “I don’t feel very lonely in any of my prejudices. Somebody is sure to share them.” Two ladies traveling together recorded a solemn resolution, before starting,- that, if they made acquaintances bv the way, they would cannilv avoid telling their own destination. “For,” said they, “according to the tales we have heard, casual acquaintances are always offering their company on any route, and we don’t propose being saddled* with unwelcome companions. ” Now it happened that they did make acquaintances, and that all these people studiously avoided any reference to their own plans of travel. What could the reason be? Neither of the two ladies guessed, until one evening a chance bit of conversation, overheard on shipboard, enlightened them. “Don’t tell a soul where we are going, dear,” a lady was saying to her husband, “or we will have some of these small parties joining us. Don’t lie, dear, but evade them somehow!” Then the two travelers looked at each other with eyes opened to a wider worldly experience. For the first time, they realized that they were not merely avoiders of others, but persons to be avoided. The anecdote finds a parallel in the true story of three teachers who went for a few weeks to a summer resort, and resolved beforehand to tell no one their occupation. “I hate to be classified in advance,” said their spokeswoman. And with this, the others agreed heartily. Their stay was delightfully enlivened by the society of another party of cultivated women, and it was only when

addresses were exchanged, on the last night together, that the latter were discovered also to be teachers. “We determined not to let any one know,” said one, amid the general merriment that followed discovery. “We so hated to be classified!”

She Made Him Naughty.

They met by chance in the berry field, this bashful boy and laughing girl. Her eyes were as black as the berries in her basket and as brilliant as those of the catbirds chattering in the tree above her head. Her full, red, pouting' lips seemed made expressly for kisses. The boy’s basket was full, and he kindly volunteered to help the bewitching little maid fill hers. Often while plucking the melting fruit from some glorious flusters her curls brushed his cheeks, but still it always seemed to be purely accidental. The little maid, too, seemed anxious to work on the same clusters on which the boy was engaged, and her sweet young face was often temptingly near his own as from time to time she turned to address him. At last her lips pouted, her eyes flashed, and she almost succeeded in coaxing her sweet brow to wrinkle indignantly. “Don’t you think,” said she, “that the other day, when I was out here all alone with a certain boy of my acquaintance, just as I am with you today, the naughty little fellow up and kissed me. He just caught me this way.” And her lips nearly touched those of the lx>v by her side as she endeavored to show him how it had been done. For a moment it seemed as if he would have to be as naughty as that other boy, but his bashfulness saved him. Still pouting, the little maid then placed her dimpled hands upon his shoulders, aud, looking archly into his eyes, she said: “You are a dear good boy, ain’t you, and you wouldn’t be naughty and treat me the way that other boy did, would you ?” Then the poor boy seemed to lose his head, and fifteen seconds later the little black-eyed maid was talking in this strain: “Oh, please let me go I You are smothering me with kisses, and I really believe that you are more naughty than that other boy, after all.” —New York Mercury.

The Old Well Sweep.

I was driving with a friend the other day through a somewhat dreary stretch of country, where there seemed to be very little to attract notice or deserve remark, writes Oliver Wendell Holmes. Still the old spirit infused by “Eyes and No Eyes" was upon me, and I looked for something to fasten my thoughts upon and treat as an artist treats a study for a picture. The first object was an old-fashioned well sweep. It did not take much imaginative sensibility to bo stirred by the sight of this most useful, most aucient, most picturesque of domestic conveniences. I know something of the shadoof of Egypt—the same arrangement by which the sacred waters of the Nile have been lifted from the days of the Pharaohs to those of the Khedives. That long forefinger pointing to heaven was a symbol which spoke to the puritan exile as it spoke of old to the enslaved Israelite. Was there ever any such water as that which we used to draw from the deep, cold well, in the “old oaken bucket V” What memories gather about the well in all ages! What love matches have been made at its margin, from the lime of Jacob and Kachel downward! What fairy legends hover over it, what fearful mysteries has it hidden! The beautiful well sweep! It is too rarely that we see it, and as it dies out and gives place to the odiously convenient pump, with the last patent on its cast-iron uninterestingness, does it not seem as if the farmyard aspect had dost half its attraction! .So long as the dairy farm exists doubtless there must be every facility for getting water in abundance ; but the loss of the w ell sweep cannot be made up to us even if our milk were diluted to twice its present attenuation.

Painting a Book in Japan.

When he is ready to paint his book —for the Japanese use a brush and not a pen—the author betakes himself to his tinjr work-room and sits on the floor in a flowing garment of brown silk, lined with blue, his legs disposed comfortably under him. In front of him stands a lacquered table, about a foot square, and upon it are his writing materials, which are as -idyllic as his surroundings—his paper is delicately tinted yellow, with blue lines running up and down. His inkstand is a carved ebony slab, with one end hollowed out for water to rub his cube of India ink in, and hold i the four or five daintily decorated bamboo brushes which are his pens. Naturally he does not write his novel, but paints it. Beginning at the end of the whole, at the left of every page and at the top of every line, straight down between the two blue parallels, his small brown hand goes with quick, delicate, dark touches. Although the novelist’s “copy” might seem to a stranger to be daintiness itself, yet he always has it duplicated “by an artist” before sending it to the publishers, the success of the book depending so largely upon its artistic form. The “artist” to whom the “copy” is now intrusted proceeds to repaint the long series of word pictures with a professional dexterity which is something astonishing. A sensible man does not brag, avoids introducing the names of his creditable companions, omits himself as habitually as another man obtrudes himself in the discourse, and is content with putting his fact or theme simply on its ground. Some things we know by direct action of our senses; and yet the great mass of our knowledge must be that of faith. We believe in vastly more things than we can see, and more than are matters of our own experience. ' An article in a scientific paper tells “how to prevent railroad accidents.” Another way is to abolish the railroads and travel by water.

Pulling Teeth.

The extraction of teeth is usually accompanied by a slight flow of blood, which ordinarily ceases before the patient quits the dentist’s office. Wheie this is not the ease, or where the hemorrhage breaks out afresh when medical advice is not at hand, it should be borne in mind that the first and most natural check is the clotting of the blood in the cavity, and this should not be disturbed, says a writer in Good Housekeeper. If it is necessary to rinse the mouth, let it be done very carefully, so as not to dislodge the clot, if one is forming. Where this does not occur, the first recourse should be to an astringent, and tannin is the best of all. If that is not at hand, finely powered alum will answer very well, burnt cork may be sprinkled over the surface, or a little ball of spider’s web, lightly pressed into the wound, may answer the purpose when other means fail, as this pest of every housekeeper is an invaluable styptic. In addition to some of these, a compress may be necessary, and an article which will answer all purposes may be made for an emergency by cutting a V-shaped slit in a cork of the right dimensions to pass over the wounded gun. This may be lightly pressed into place by the teeth of the other jaw, and as it is applied a pledget of lint or similar dressing may properly be fitted to the cavity, though often the compress alone will prove effectual. It is useful, also, in such cases, to maintain an erect position of the patient, either sitting or standing. Warm foot baths are also helpful, with friction of the lower limbs, to divert the blood from the head as much as practicable. These directions and suggestions apply, of course, to such occasions as require treatment in the absence, or awaiting the arrival, of the family physician or the dentist.

Why Choate Did Not Defend Professor Webster.

It has often been wondered why Choate was not employed to defend Professor Webster against the charge of killing Dr. Parkman—the most noted criminal trial in the . annals of New England, if not of the whole country—and it has sometimes been said that the great advocate shrank from the odium of securing the acquittal of the culprit. But is now known that, although urged by Franklin Dexter, one of the leaders of the bar, who believed Webster inuocent and wanted him defended on thkt ground, and by Charles Sumner, who took a similar view and urged the defense in the interest of humanity, Choate would not accept the case, because he would not undertake to declare that Webster did not kill Parkman. The alternative plea of justifiable homicide in selfdefense, or of manslaughter by reason of sudden altercation, wai the only one which Choate would accept. But Professor Webster and his advisers would not agree to this line of defense, and the consequence was that he lost the services of the great advocate, who would probably have saved hii life had he been allowed the only method of defense which accorded with his convictions of policy and of truth.— Arena.

A Disgusted Here-car Driver.

He had been driving a horse-car for four years, and had got a little bit more wary-looking every day. “I can’t stand it any longer,” he said at last “I ain’t a going to have any more women finding fault and claiming they didn’t have courteous treatment.” There was a woman standing on the next corner. Instead of the customary “Ride, ma’am?” he stopped his horses, dismounted from his perch, and going toward the curbstone, lifted his hat and inquired: “Do you propose making use of this vehicle to-day ?” “Sir!” she said in tones of astonishment. “Do you wish to ride in this horsecar ? If so, I will gladly escort yon to it, procure you a seat and hand your fare to the conductor. I aim to please.” “Why, I never heard such impertinence?” she stammered. “I did intend riding on your car. but I shall certainly wait for the next one. And you may expect a complaint from me at the superintendent’s office concerning your conduct, sir.” He remounted the stool and pulled his hat down over his eyes. “ ’Tain’t no use! Geddup!” was all he said. —Washington Post.

Teachers and Gentle Voices.

That “excellent thing in woman”— and in man al-:o, when in the schoolroom—the “gentle” voice, though not necessarily “soft” or “low,” is a means of grace to teacher and taught alike. Few teachers realize how accurately their gain or loss in influence can be measured by the quality of the tone in which they talk. There is no excuse for the hard, sharp, rasping tone so •common as to be usually reckoned one of the characteristics of a “schoblma’am,” even in the noisiest room or among the most unruly children. The law of similia similibus curantur does not hold good in such a case. Screaming and shouting at children is to make demons even of little angels, and they must be angelic, indeed, who can escape such transformation. The teacher should know how to make distinctness serve in place of force, to the end of sparing her own throat and the nerves of her pupils.— Ladies’ Home Journal r

Extreme French Polit ness.

A Frenchman was walking calmly along, when from behind he received a blow from a knife, just between the shoulder-blades. The wounded man turned quickly round and displayed to ..the horrified would-be assassin a face quite unknown to him. “Oh, I beg your pardon, sir; I mistook you for some one else,” he exclaimed, most politely, as raising his hat with one hand, with the other he withdrew his weapon. The wounded stranger was not to be outdone in politeness by his mistaken assailant. “Oh, pray don’t mention it,” replied he, as with a low bow he hurried off to the nearest surgeon.

THE REWARD OF PERSISTENCY.

Am Italian Peddler Gets Here tor HU Warne - than He Bargains For. The persistency of the street fakir in pressing his wares on reluctant purchasers is well known, and in nan j cases defeats its own object, but in an. equal number of cases, probably, it succeeds. One offensive Italian peddler met with a rather mixed reward, however, last Sunday, which must - have left some doubt in his mind as towhether he htA done well on the whole - or ill. He was selling small pinwheels of bright colored paper, nearthe main entrance to Prospect Park, when a well dressed young mechanic came along with a bright, clean, handsome little boy of five years. Thefond mother who accompanied them never took her eyes long from her darling son, and her eyes seemed tossy to all wko beheld her : “He is just ;. as good as he is pretty.” 'ihe peddler “spotted” them for hiaprey from afar off, and moved down, on them with his dozens of gay little - wheels whirring in the wind. Seductively he said: “Only five centa, buya . one for de little man.” The littleman’s eyes danced with glee, but his . father waved the Italian aside and said, to his son: “No, no, Johnny. Yon. don’t want one to-day. We’re going tohave a ride in the boat on the lake instead.” Little Johnny was evidently on his best behavior, for he resisted the temptation to cry, and allowed himself to be dragged along by his father. But he cast a longing look over hisshoulder at the toys and lagged a littlebehind. The wily Italian saw his . chance, and taking a particularly gaudy wheel in his hand, stepped upbehind the parents, and offered it to, tfie little fellow. Johnny’s face beamed with joyful anticipation, as he thought the Italian was going to give him one. He stretched out his disengaged hand to receive it, but, just as his fingers seemed to clutch the fluttering wheel the peddler withdrew it, still holding it up temptingly just beyond the little'' fellow’s reach. This was altogether too much for Johnny’s self-control and he burst intoa howl of rage and disappointment which nothing could quiet. His parents, not wishing to spoil their outing, bought him a wheel at last and turned his tears to laughter, while on-lookera thought that Johnny’s father w r as altogether too soft-hearted to allow himself to be forced in this manner into - making a purchase from the impertinent peddler. The latter was putting liis coin into • his greasy pocaat with a shrug and impertinent grin, when a well-directed, and powerful blow on the tip of the jaw sent him sprawling on the pavement, with his wares under him. “Take that, you dirty dago,” hissedl the heretofore placid father, who had. struck, the blow. His high hat, that had been balanced so nicely on his head a moment ago, was now jammed down tight to the nape of his. neck;., the cuffs of his well-brushed coat were*turned up; the lapel, that had a flowerin its button-hole, was now buttoned tight across the chest, and the angry eye and set jaw showed that the peaceful promenader was now full of fight.. “I’ll teach you to bother people with • your greedy cheek after you have beeix. civilly refused once,” he shouted. “Pull your knife now, for of course you have one, and come on!” The swarthy peddler picked him — self up, and the scowl of the vendetta was on his face, his hand sought the pocket of his loose blouse, but the unfriendly looking group that gathered! behind the angry father seemed tobode no good; so he slunk away amid. the jeers of the crowd, to find otherand less belligerent customers.”—— Nero York Tribune.

How He Wished.

A peculiar-looking fellow went intoa Chicago restaurant, and taking up a. bill of fare drew a line under “sirloin steak” and leaned back in his chair. When the waiter brought the steak the fellow seized it and began greedily todevour it. “Does the steak suit you, sir?” the waiter asked. The fellow, without looking up, an—swered: “Wonderful, wonderful; how I wish pap was here.” r Jhe waiter laughed and, beckoning: to another waiter, whispered: “Ask. that fellow a question.” “Is everything all light?” the other waiter asked. “Wonderful, wouderfnl; how I wish pap was here.” The two men ducked their heads anil tittered aud then beckoned to the head waiter and whispered to him. The head w-aiter,’ eager for a complimentand thinking one was in store, turned to the customer and said: “I hope everything suits you, sir.” “Wonderful, wonderful; how I wish pap was here.” The cashier, getting a suggestive whiff of the fun the men were having, came out from behind his desk and» approaching the customer, said: *T hope you are well enough pleased to give us another call.” The man replied: “Wonderful, won* derful; how I wish pap was here.” The cashier snorted in his handkerchief and then went out to invite a friend, who was a great student of character, to come in and see the fellow. The waiter made out the check and placed it on the table, and then,, with his companions, turned round to - indulge in another snort. When they ' looked back the fellow was gone. Just then the cashier came back with the - character student. “Where is our* friend?” he asked. “Don’t know—slipped out while we • were not looking.” “Did he pay his bill?” “I made out the check and he must '- have taken it up, for it ain’t on the • table.” “Here it is on the desk,” said thocashier. He took up the ticket and read the following, written with a bluepencil: “Wonderful, wonderful; how I wish pap was here.” —Arkansaw Traveler. Man is fickle. Even Adam, who had his wife made to order, found more or less fault with her.