Democratic Sentinel, Volume 14, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 April 1890 — Page 7

The Animal She Would Like to Have Him Be.

ilo— fftww wvw'-w Wl erta fce.wt.al would you prefer ta be, Mias Nortlicote —that is, if you had to be an animal? She—Oh, I don’t know, I am sure. But I know what sort of an animal I would like to have you be! He (curiously)—What? L ’ She—A weaseL He—A weasel!—and pray why? She—Don’t you remember the old nursery rhyme, “Pop goes the weasel?’

Catarrh Can’t Be Cured

With LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they cannot reach the beat of the disease. Catarrh is a blood or constitutional disease, and in order to cure If you have to take internal remedies. Hall's Catarah Cure Is taken internally, and acts directly % blood and mucus surfaces. Hall’t Catarrh Cure is no quack medicine. It was prescribed by one of the best physicians in this country for years, and is a regular prescription It is composed of the best tonics known, combined with the best blood purifiers, acting vi rectly on the mucus surface. The perfect combination of the two ingredients is what produc. t such wonderful results in curing catarrh, Senn for testimonials free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props., Toledo, Ohio. Sold by Druggists, price 75c. Doctors, as a rule, are reticent about their fees, but Dr. Willard Parker was paid SIOO,OOO for the successful removal of an excrescence from the f ice and neck of the son and heir of one of the wealthiest families in the vicinity of New York.

JACOBS CURES PROMPTLY STIFFNESS, STIFF NECK. Violent Pains in Neck. Friendship, Wis., June 14,1888. My wife had violent pains in her neck, Which was very sore and stiff. She was cured entirely by St. Jacobs Oil. JAMES STOWE. In Terrible Pain. Ames M'fg. Co., Chicopee, Mass., June 18, 1888* From over-exertion every bone was made stiff and sore; in terrible pain. I was cured promptly by St. Jacobs Oil. J. C. BUCKLEY, Paymaster. At Druggists and Dealers. THE CHARLES A. VOGELER C 9., Baltlmors, Md. TCI TPDADUV "e guarantee a eood paying I LLubKHm I. position to every graduate. I American School of Telegraphy, Madison. Wis. MENTION THIS PAPER *HM wkitixu to Habit. The only certain ’a B B and easy cure. Dr. J. L. VrS I V Stephens. Lebanon. Ohio. MENTION THIS PAPKR w«bk want** to abvbbttobiw. ’SOccessfully Prosecutes Claims. Late Principal Examiner U. S. Pension Bureau. 3 yrs iu last war, 15 adjudicating claims, atty aiuoe. La Grippe has Left the System badly debilitated in millions of cases. Take Ayer’s Sarsaparilla and restore Tone and Strength. It never fails. Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co. 9 Lowell, Mass, iscoml lemulsioii ) DOES CURE CONSUMPTION In its First Stages. J JBe sure you get the genuine.

wdjTjlFEjß w - LIE z M-ERNh'- C a?J f XTERHA'Instantly Stop Pain A representation of tbi engraving on <rar wrappm-RADWAI ■ 00. MW YORK.

The Ability to Bear Pain

Ta the test of fortitude among the Indian tribes. But we defy any Cherokee. Sioux or Comanche tn endure the twinges of rheumatism without wincing. These, indeed are slight at first, bnt grow in intensity until U ey become unbearable. No malady is more obstinate in ita maturity than that which gives rise to them. The more need, then, of attacking it at the outset. Foremost among remedies for it is Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, safer and infinitely more effective than colchicum, veratrum and nux vomica, all remedies which might prove destructive of life in a slightly excessive dose. Mineral djpurenta, also, when not positively mischievous, are far inferior in remedial power .o this salutary botanic medicine. It entirely >-xpeis from the blood the acrid impurities wnich originate the disease, and enriches as •■■ ell as ch arises it. Constipation, liver coinplaint, dyspepsia and other ailments also tive way to it.

A French Due.

Two Frenchmen met, not many days ago, on murderous business bent They hid quarreled over a woman, and A gave B a blow on the cheek. A challenge was sent, but A , seeing that he had been in the wrong, sent an ample apology. The reply was: “I will tell you on the dueling ground whether your apolouy will be accepted." At the time and place indicated the parties met. Said B to A : “If I had insulted you as you did me, and then made an apology like yours, would you have been sa'isfied?" “Yes." “Are you quite sure?” “Certainly..” “Then,” said B , “there is the insult” (dealing A a sound bio won the cheek), “and here” (presenting a copy of A 's own letter) “is the apology!” And they parted in friendship.— TidBits.

$2,500 Reward for a Lost Cat.

The equivalent in English money of $2,500 was once offered by an old lady in London for the return of a favorite cat which had strayed or been stolen. People called her a “crank,” and perhaps she was. It is unfortunate that one of the gentler sex should ever gain this title, yet many do. It however, frequently not their fault. Often functional derangements will apparently change a woman’s entire natute. Don’t blame such sufferers if they are “cranky,” but tell them to use Dr. Pi tree’s Favorit ’ Prescription, which is an infallible remedy for “female weaknesses." It will soon restore them to their normal condition. It is warranted to give satis action in every case, or money paid for it will be returned. Dr. Pierce’s Pellets, the original and only genuine Little Liver Pills; 25 cents a vial; one a dose. Hotels are few and ill-conducted in Brazilian coast towns, but there are excellent French and German restaurants in Bahia and Pernambuco. When one has the bill to settle he finds that the score runs into the thousands. The basis of currency is an imaginary unit, the reis, 1,000 of which make a milreis, worth, apart from exchange, about 50 cents. The lowest nickel coin is 100 reis, worth 5 cents. Below these are copper coins, 20 reis being equivalent to 1 cent. If one dines with a friend at a restaurant the score will amount to 7,500 reis—a result startling to the uninitiated. , When realestate transactions are conducted the figures rise into the millions, and when trade statistics are computed billions and trillions are brought in. Reversing the process, one pays 2,000 reis to a boatman to go ashore from a steamer, 1,000 reis or a milreis for a bottle of beer and some cheese, 500 reis to a guide for pilotage throuah a public building, 200 reis for a ride on a street-car, 100 reis for a turn on tho lift from the upper to the lower floor, and another 100 reis for having his boots blacked.

Flowers are fadin> as trimmings for evening dresses, says a London paper, and the fashion is setting in toward b rds and insects. Flights of jet swallows are seen fleeing across the skirt of an evening dress. Perhaps the bodice will be ornamented with a swallow, too. Huge butterflies made of jet, gold tinsel, or of pearls and iridescent beads are made large enough to come right across tne front of the bodice of an evening dress. The wing are outspread, and the butterflies are said to be modeled from natural specimens. Smaller butterflies hover about the shoulders and on the skirt.

Hibbard’s Rheumatic and Liver Pills.

These Pills are scientifically compounded, uniform in action. No griping pain so commonly following the use of pills. They are adapted to both adults and children with perfect safety. We guarantee they have no equal in the cure of Sick Headache, Constipation. Dyspepsia. Biliousness; and, as an appetizer, they exeel any other preparation. Ezra L. Stevens, of Washington, D. C., who recently died at Asbury Park, N. J., was the chief clerk of the Indian De r partment for nearly thirty years, and was the originator of the present Indian school system. The pupils iu the Indian schools always called him “Father Stevens.” He was one of the most prominent members of the Masonic Order in the United States, and had attained the thirty-third degree. It is said that be sat in Masonic Lodges with more Presi. denQjii the United States than any Mason now living. He raised President Garfield to knighthood.

A Superb Achievement.

Thousands of dollars have been expended in preparing the magnificent new catalogue just issued by the Bryant & Stratton Chicago Business College. Shorthand Institute and English Training School, which is everywhere recognized as the-Great Business University of America. The great catalogue now presented to the public is a perfect masterpiece, and constitutes the most elegant and costly volume of the kind ever published. It is an exquisite work of art, containing 112 pages printed upon finest enameled paper, 9%x12 inches, with thirty large and beautiful engravings. It is distributed at college office free of eha-are, or will be mailed to any address upon receipt of stamps to pav cost of postage, which is ten cents. Every ambitious young man and young woman should secure a copy. Address H. B. Bryant & Son. Washington street, corner Wabash avenue. Chicago. IIL Fob Nellis’ Genuine Forks and Fixtures, Steel Age Electric Harrows, Corn Cultivators, Post Augers, all kinds Grain Drill Points, etc. Circulars free. The Nellis-Hubbard Co., Pittsburg, Pa. The colored people of this country row control about one hundred weekly newspapers. * —■— If - 1 The best cough medicine is Piso’s Cure for Consumption.’ bold everywhere. 25c. : .Tart disappear like hot cakes before aBL Louis tramp—“Tansill's Punch’ sc. Qlgar.

To Dispel Colds,

Hea laches and Fevers, to oW&sae the system i ffectually. yet gently, when costive or bilious, or when tie blood is impure cr sluggish, to permanently cure habitual constipation. to awaken the kidneys and liver to a healthy activity, without irritating or weakening them, us® Syrup of Figs.

A Vain Search.

Yellowly—Why, Brownly, how bad you look this morning. Did you sleep any last night? Brownlv— Not a wink. “AnyboJy sick?" “lam.” “that’s the matter?” “Well, you see, my wife has been in the habit of going through my pockets at night, and I thought what was good for the gander was i ood for the goose, no after she fell asleep last night I arose and set out to go through her pocket ” “Get anything?” “No. Searched the dress over and over, spent the whole night at it, but couldn’t find the pocket. * — Boston Courier.

Only One Bottle.

Fort Wayne. Ind., Aurust 23.1889. Rheumatic Syrup Co.. Jackson. Mich.: Gentlemen: Having suffered severely for some time with rheumatism, so that I was unable to work. Messrs. Dreie- & Bro. recommends.l Hibbard’s Rheumatic Sytup. After taking one bottle I wui entirely cured. I have recommended your remedies frequently to ms fi lends with like results. L. C. Zollinger. / sk your druggist for it We have personal knowledge that the above statement is correct. Diieier & Bro.. Druggists.

A Personal Remark.

Tawker—To write successfully, writers have only to convey tbeir ideas to the reader in the clearest and most direct way. Writer—But suppose a writer has no ideas to convey; what then? Tawker—Don’t interrupt me, please. I’ll get around to your particular case presently.

The Homeliest Man in This Town,

A.s well as the handsomest, and others, are invited to call on any druggist and get free a trial bottle of Kemp’s Balsam for the Throat and Lungs, a remedy that is selling entirely upon its merits, and is guaranteed to relieve and cure all Chronic and Acute Coughs, Asthma, Bronchitis, and Consumption. Large Bottles, 50 cents and sl. Policemen in civilian dress do not affect diamonds, yet when in uniform they wear a “number." Six Novels Free, will be seat by Cragln & < 0., Philada., Pa., to any one in the U. S. or Canada, postage, paid, upon receipt of 25 Dobbins’ Electric Soap wrappers. See list of novels on circulars around each bar. Soap for sale by all grocers. A Child looks upon the most humble toy-peddler a-t a man of rare gifts. For Throat- Diseases, Coughs, Colds, etc., effectual relief is foun 1 in the use of “Brown’s Bronchial Troches,” Price 25 cts. Sold only in boxes. A miser’s first rule is addition. His heirs generally begin with division.

H n | La ItOX A MEMORY OF EABLY DAYS. Bane of childhood’s tender years. Swallowed oft with groans and tears. How it made the flesh recoil. Loathsome, greasy castor oil I Search your early memory close, Till you find another dose: All the shuddering frame revolts At the thought of Epsom salts! Underneath the pill-box lid Was a greater horror hid, Climax of all inward ills. Huge and griping old blue pills 1 What a contrast to the mild and gentle action of Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Purgative Pellets, sugar-coated, easy to take, cleansing and renovating the system without wrenching it with agony. They are gently aperient or strongly cathartic according to size of dose. Unequaled as a liver pill. Smallest, cheapest, easiest to take. As a laxative, only one Pellet necessary for a dose. Cures Sick Headache, Bilious Headache, Constipation, Indigestion, Bilious Attacks, and all derangements of the Liver, Stomach and Bowels. Put up in vials, hermetically sealed, therefore always fresh and reliable. Being purely vegetable, they operate without disturbance to the system, diet or occupation. Sold by druggists, at 25 cents a vial.

For “run-down,” debilitate and overworked women. Dr. Pieroe's Favor! e Prescription is .the beat of all restorative tor cs. It is a potent Specific for all those Chronli Weaknesses and Diseases peculiar to Women a powerfuL gen•tal as well aa uterine, tonic and nervine. It

Spring Medicine

Is a aasesaity with nearly everybody. The ran down, tired condltton at thia season is ace to impurities in the blooa which have accumulated Aurins the winter, and which must be expellad if you wish to feel well. Hood's Sarsaparilla thoron jhly purihes and vitalizes the blood, creates a food tite. cures biliousness and headache, fives heUthy action to the kidneys and Uver, and imparts to the whole body a feeling of health and strength. Try it this spring. •I take Hood’s Sarsaparilla every year as a spring tonic, with most satisfactory results.* C. Paumklxx, 849 Bridge Street, Brooklyn. N.Y. Purifies the Blood "Hood's Sarsaparilla purl Bed my blood, gave me strength, and overcame the headache and dizziness, so that I am able to work again. I recommend Hood's Sarsaparilla to others whose blood is thin or impure, and who feel worn out or rua down." LtTHxn Nason, Lowell, Mass. “We have used Hood’s Sarsaparilla for years, and recommend it as the best spring medicine or blood purifier. Our boy Is nine years old and has enjoyed good health ever since we began giving it to him. We are seldom without it.” B. F. Gbovxb. Rochester, N. H. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists, f 1; six for 85. Prepared only by C. 1. HOOD A CO., Lowell, Mass. 100 Doses One Dollar

fcgj Best Cough Medicine. Recommended by Physicians, fill Btra Cures where all else fails. Pleasant and agreeable to the fjJB taste. Children take it without objection. By druggists.

HU PRDD L Pfl Commission Merchants, . n. uAKK a UU. 95 Hoard of Trade, Chicago. Handle Gram and Seeds on consiguiueut, remitting proceeds promptly: also bus’ or sell for future delivery on margins. Mrite for information. In aussvering adv, meutlon name of paper. Ely’s Cream Balm Ryilo-JI GIVES RELIEF AT ONCE FOB ■ COLD (OLD IN HKAD.V&’ -curesCATARRH.fr| Apply Balm into each nostril. MM ELY BROS. 56 Warren St. N. Y To cure Biliousness. Bick Headache, Constipation, Malaria, Liver Complaints, take the safe and certain remedy, SMITH’S BILE BEANS Use the SMALL SIZE (40 little beans to the boU tie;. They are the most convenient; suit all age*. Price of either size, 25 cents per bottle. If’IACIM/* at 7, 17. 70: Photo-gravure, ■'•WUIIMm panel size of this picture for A cents (coppers or stamps). J. F. SMITH AGO.. Makers of • ‘Bile Beans.' ’ St. Louis, Mo.

imnarte vigor and strength to the whole system. It promptly cures weakness of stomach, nausea, indigestion, bloating, weak back, nervous prostration, debility and sleepless! nets., in either sex. It is carefully compounded by an experienced physician and adapted to womans delicate organization. Purely vegetable and perfectly harmless in any condition of the, system. It is the only medicine for women, sold by drurrists under a positive guarantee of satisfac! tton in every case, or price (lUto) refunded. This guarantee has been printed on the bottle-wrapper, and faithfully carried out for many years. World’s Dibpknsary JJndioal Association, Proprietors, w o MB Main Street, Huftto, N. Y, _

The chief reason for the marvelous success • E(ood’s Sarsaparilla is found in the article lte4t. I is Merit that wins, and the fact that Hood's Sara* parilia actually accomplishes what is claimed so» it. is what has made It tho medicine first in the con fidence of our countrymen, and given to Hood's Sarsaparilla a popularity and sale greater than ths of any other blood purifier. “Early last spring I was very much ran down, bad nervous headache, felt miserable and all that. I was very much benefited by Hood's Sarsaparilla and recommend It to my friends.” Mas. J. M. Taylor, Ul» Euclid Avenue, Cleveland, O. Creates an Appetite •I wish to enroll my name as one of those who have derived health from the use of Hood’s rilla. For many years I have taken it, especially in the early spring, when I am troubled with dizziness, dullness, unpleasant taste in my mouth in the morning. It removes this bad taste, relieves my headache, and makes me feel greatly refreshed. The two bottles 1 have used this spring have been worth many dollars tome. I advise all my friends to take it." John hiNNa, 663 43d Street, Town of Lake, Chicago, 111. N.B. Be sure to get Hood’s Sarsaparilla. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD & CO.. Lowell. Muss. 100 Doses One Dollar

PENSIONS Bend for ciroulurs. r Patkick O’Fakkzll, Atty.at Law,Washington, D.C, vniliin MFN wanted to lesru telegraph V. Hull ill 111InLIl nations furnished on railroads. I UUll wAddr's Valentine*'School, Janesville,Wis PATENTS SPisi®* ■ *• ■ "N™ ■ O^jteudlorcircular. ♦ MENTIONTHIS PAPER wbmn wbitiw« to adybbtmbks. KIDOER'B MSTIUEkSSSt: ‘J’loitown. Mais, __ MENTION THIS PAPKR Tmbn wimxe to advbbtubm. PENSIONS Apply to Ilin B. STEVENS I CD.. Att’ys, 1419 F HLWashington,P.O. Branch offices, Cleveland.Detroit,CnlcagO ibib iiTFn-wyyTRY agents to Iraf RN I U “John March Co.'s OuemÜbl 1111 I' I I l il ' al Dehcrner" I applied to ealf ■ Hmi I LaMprevents growth of horns): ■ ■ also two other easy-selling specialties; retail ♦I.OO and ess. Permanent business; exclusive territory. MOREY MFC. CO.. Waukesha, Wis. In answering adv, mention name of paper. ■■ ■ ■ ■ ■ THE LATEST SPRDfG' lAf All STYLES OF WALL PAPER AT WHOLESALE PRICES, I ft I Ea 11 Gold Paper. 10c to BOc per roll, Hol Id Gold Rin bossed! Paper. 16c to 145 c per roll. If you are going to do anypapering do not fail to send for suniples to . ALFRED HEATH, 186 Wabash Ave., Chicago, HL HALF RATES HuNnmaß to the Farming Regions WEST, SOUTHWEST, NORTHWEST. For particulars call on your Ticket Agent or addresa P. 6. EUSTIS, Gen'l Pass. Agt. C. B. <t Q. R. B.,Chicago. NORTHERN PACIFIC H LOW MICE RAILROAD LARDS » FREE Government LANDS. MILLIONS of Acres in Minnesota, North Dakota.Montana,ldaho, Washington and Oiegon. CFNn rnD p, ’° licatlQns wlt ’i maps describing Tjjf yLnll I UK BEST Agricultural,Grazing and timber Lands now open to Settlers. SENT FREE. Address CHAS. B. LAMBORN. PAI?U AUNN? TF YOU WISH A . purchase one of the cele- '(w’lrrLJrl» zji'Y brated SMITH k WESSON > t arms. The finest small arms (( ever manufactured and the W 7/ )) first choice of all exi>ertH. Manufactured in calibres 32,and 44-100. Sin- MEh gleor double action. Safety Hamnierlesa and . Target models. Constructed entirely of beat qualA ity wrought steel, carefully inspected for workmanship and stock, they are unrivaled for durability andaccuracy. Do not be deceived by cheap malleable cast-iron imitations which are often sold for the genuine article and arenot only unreliable, Ibut dangerous. The SMITH Ac. WESSON Revolvers are all stamped upon the barrels with firm’s name, address and dates of patentsand are guarnrtteed perfect in every detail. Insist upon having the genuine article, and if yotirdealer cannot supply you an order sent to addressbelow will receive prompt and careful attention. Descriptive catalogue and prices furnished upon ap--plication. SMITH & WESSON, •' tWTdentlon this pap.-r. Mprlngfield, Mass.. the raw Timm ■ J Ln The Speediest. Low-l’rlcrd Writing Machine on tbe Market. PKBrEcT Mechanism. Has < a record of 108 Words per minnte. AGENTS WAN'fiED.. ■AIirACTIREM OF lICVCLES TRICYCLES ARD SAFETIES Wl LCOX’B COM POU N D AISTST PII.Z.ST LuurZ” st. Wika’, fipoetto Co., Phil*.? ©CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH PENNYROYAL PBLLS. Ked Cross Diamond BramL The only reliable pill for nle. Safe »ng Druggist for Ue Ol«. “•t.lilc boxe., sealvd with bine ribbon. Take Mother. Send 4c. for parttculeri U d “Relief for E,*!pMmX «I prescribe and folly on--srse Big G as the only >ecific for the certain cure f this disease. . H. INGRAHAM, M. D., Amsterdam, N. Y. We have sold Big G for lany years, and it has elven the best of satisfaction. D. R. DYCHE A CO., Chicago, HL. 1.00, Sold by Druggists.. v- M- D. No. 14-90