Democratic Sentinel, Volume 14, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 March 1890 — THE NATION’S CAPITAL. [ARTICLE]

THE NATION’S CAPITAL.

POLITICAL AMD SOCIAL GOSSIP AT WASHINGTON. The Disposition of the Blair Bill Affords Great Relief to Senators—Wyoming and Idaho to Come Into the Union—Cranks Who Visit the Patent Ofllce- The Rus- • aty. [SPECIAL COBBESPONDENCE.J Washington, March 24, 1890. “Speaking about lunatics,” said an official in the Patent Office who has been placed on the force since the advent of the present administration, “you chaps in the newspaper business, with all .tour spring poets and phunnygram editors, don’t know what the word ‘lunatic’ stands for. Now, if you’ll come around and spend a day with me, I’ll show you some of the real old article. " “Is it because you have something peculiarly attractive about you, or because you look as if you might easily be buldozed, that you have a daily gathering of *cr,inks’ about you?” asked the writer. “Well, you see, I’m a new man here, and all the old clerks in the office, when some one comes into the office with a suspicious manner about him, turn him over to me. Of course we’re bound to treat everybody courteously or we’d get into heaps of trouble. For instance, do you see that individual just coming in the door? Teq chances to one you would think he came in here to get a patent on a hay-twister/ and, of course, you couldn’t be blamed for any lack of extreme politeness. Well, now, that’s John F. Lacey, of lowa, who is making quite a reputation in the House as an off-hand talker. So you’ll readily understand that we have to be polite to everybody, as you can’t tell just who a man js by his appearance. It is wonderful the variety of people who come in here and the character of their Lusiness. The other day a man came in, and at the first glance I thought it was Chauncey M. Depew, of New York. My first impression was to get up und make one of the graceful bows I have been practicing ever since I saw the antic performed at one of Wanemaker’s receptions last month. The man had every appeamnee of health, intellect, and wealth, so far as could be judged from the outside. The man had a box under his arm, and I soon found it contained, a model for an invention he had perfected. I saw at a glance that it was utterly valueless ridiculous—and yet for half an hour he talked and explained to me all about it, in the most wandering, foolish manner, and became so excited that I got nervous.

“Hundreds of just such as these come thousands of miles to get a patent on some insignificant trifle like a pie-cutter, an apple-parer, button-hole puncher, etc. Sometimes I have listened for an hour while one of these poor tools would narrate to me in the most scientific but unintelligible terms how he invented a ticket punch or a corn-sheller e and how much he expected to make as soon as he could get his patent right. Ahd all the time he is telling me of it he is looking continuously about to see if any one is listening. The next one that comes! in may be a man who has a scheme for making a million of money if he can only get some one to go in with him and put up SSOO to perfect his invention. He comes to me because he knows that I am acquainted with everything in the shape of an invention, and, being as I was right in the office where I can see that the papers are all straight, he’d give me first chance. And then the chances are ten to one he would unroll a bundle of paper and regale my ears with a minute description of some apparatus for cleaning gum boots. “These cranks are not confined to the male sex by any means. You would be astonished at the number of women who apply for patents during the course of a month—generally for some worthless contrivance. In fact, only about one in twenty of all the inventions for which Government patent rights are obtained ever amount to anything in point of use*fulness, and only about one in every five hundred are a success financially.”

* Me The protest against the ratification of the Russian treaty, which the Senate, over President pro tern. Ingalls’ adverse ruling, permitted Senator Cockrell to present in open session last week, is an interesting document, and contains tome strong statements. The instrument is from the Wood-working Machine Hands’ Union of St. Louis. The reasons given for the protest are that the signers consider tnat the ratification of the pending treaty would be a mistake, because a state without anyregular system of justice—a staJe in which there is punishment of the severest nature without the least judicial process as a governmental institution—can offer no guarantee for an honest use of an extrad tion treaty. The memorial accompanying the protest presents a supposititious case, in which Russia is represented as being anxious to get back a political fugitive from this country. He is accused of a common felony, and according to the terms of the treaty the United States is bound to give him up. The victim is then prosecuted, not forapolitie-il crime, but for felony, and no Ameiic m Minister can save him. To back up this reasoning the memorialists refer to the well known books on Siberian exiles by George Kennan and Prince Krapotkin. In conclusion the memorial says that it should be sufficient to Americans that the Russian people are subject to the arbitrary rule of the Czar, end that therefore a government which has to represent law cannot enter into an extradition treaty with lawless despotism. - * * Since the recent defalcation of Silcott the office of cashier of the Sergeant-at-arms of the House of Representatives has gone a begging. At least the position is not what it once was. The place was refused the other day by a Nebraska politician, after a brief investigation, who claims that it has been queered by the absconding cashier. There was formerly a big rake-off. There are two classes of Congressmen, financially speaking. One class depend on their salary alone, and frequently draw large sums in advance; the other class have outside resources and were wont to leave their pay in the hands of the Sergeant-at-arms. In thia way the cashitr was able to do a sort of a brokerage business which netted him something handsome. Since Silcott’s disappearance the first class borrow funds elsewhere and the second class draw their salary os soon as it becomes due. This

I leaves but the salary for the pay clerk, I and a very ordinary one at that. , Senators feel mightily Relieved since the Blair educational bill has been gotten rid of. Almost every one of the statesmen has a pet measure of his own which he wants to get before the Senate, but they have been bound hand and foot ever since the New Hampshire Senator got the floor. It may be stated as a certainty that two more States will be added to the Union in a few weeks. Bills admitting Wyoming and Idaho have been favorably reported in both houses of Congress. By resolution ihe House has agreed to take up these bills on Tuesday, March 25, and continue action until they are disposed of. Congressman Springer is also pushing the claims of Arizona and New Mexico, but with little prospect of success, as there is a feeling among the Republican members that the latter two are unprepared for the duties of statehood. * Senator George Hearst will go down in history as “the man who listened to the Blair educational bill in its entirety.” It is a mighty interesting theme ordinarily that will keep the millionaire Senator of California in his chair for anv great length of time, and many of George’s friends are wondering what has come over him. Senator Blair has noticed the interest taken bv his brother from the Pacific slope, and in order to secure his vote thought to tickle him by asking him to make a t-peech, knowing the o’d veteran had never made a speech, and never pretended to be able to join in a discussion, especially on a subject of this nature. He expected, of course, a refusal. To his utter surprise and consternation, Senator Hearst, with the utmost sang froid, accepted the invitation, and stated that he would commence immediately after morning business on Thursday, and thought he would be able to say all he had to say in about three hours. This almost petrified the New Hampshire Senator, as the bill comes to a final vote on this day, and he had expected to occupy the afternoon himself in refuting statements made by the opposition. He is now almost frantic for some way to suppress the irrepressible California man. Notwithstanding *the newspaper talk about the change in the office of Serge mt-at-arms as soon as Senator Quay returns from the South, there is little likelihood that any change will take place this session. Considerable skirmishing is being done, however, among the various candidates.

The Interstate Commerce Cotnmission has recently added a new feature to its working force in the shape of a secret service. Thus far one man constitutes the entire force, and his name is Frank G. Kretchmer, one of the brightest young newspaper men of South Dakota. Mr. Kretchmer has had considerable experience in the railro d business, which peculiarly fits him for the duties of the new position. His principal work consists in personally visiting points from which complaints of discrimination in freight rates are heard, and making report to the commission of the result of his invest gation After sufficient trial, if it is found the new departure is beneficial to the service, the force will be gradually increased. A certain Senator from one of the Western States is preparing to spring on the Senate a resolution calling for an investigation as io what becomes of a large proportion of public documents and tho manner in which they come into the hands of brokers The Senator referred to has recently received a letter from a well-known second-hand book dealer, offering for sale 3,500 volumes of the agricultural reports of 1888 at 7. cents per copy, and several thousand volumes of other Government reports at similar rates. He proposes to tint out just how these came into the possession of the bookdealer, and will then suggest the enactment of a law prohibiting the sale of such articles in the future.

* * There is a pecuh r rivalry between two distinguished personages from Massachusetts, Senator Hoar and Representative Henry Cabot Lodge. E«ch has a Federal election bill, and eaeh bill is so manifestly directed at the Southern States as to be particularly pleasing to the New England heart. The Lodge bill is sure topass the House; the Hoar bill the- Senate. Only one, of course, can survive and in the melee perhaps neither will live. It has now become the question whether, in the final outcome, the surviving measure will be known to history as the Boor bill or the Lodge bill. Both statesmen are jealous of the title. * * * The hatred of Senators Call, of Florida, and George, of Mississippi, for Senator Chandler is a matter of vopmon talk in public circles, brought about to- a great degree by the discussion of the race question and the resolution calling for an investigation regarding the alleged outrages committed in some of the Southern States. On Monday last both of the Southern statesmen, who are members of the Committee on Immigration, of which Chandler is Chairman, resigned from that body, and announced tbeir refusal to further serve on the aforesaid committee. * * * Senator Ingalls has introduced a bill providing that a sold-er who has lost both eyes or one arm and one leg may Let married at any time he may so desire to* some one to take care of him, and nt his death the soldier’s widow shall receive sl2 per month as long as she remains single. If the soldier’s wife refuses to live with and care for him, he may after her absence of six months procure a divorce from any County Court upon payment of $5. ★ * Senator Plumb has nothing if not a wholesome respect for the Fish Commission. In commenting upon the appropriation asked for by the commission in the urgent deficiency bill, last Tuesday, he became very sarcastic regarding the growing power of the commission. He stated that it might be as well to turn the Government over to the commission at once and be done with it. It had already got control of the navy, and was now reaching out after tho railroads, and it was a serious question in hiq mind whether the Government was a part of the commission or the commission a part of the Government. Jos. C. Moody. A kiss on the forehead denotes reverence, but it doesn’t tickle for shucks.