Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 December 1889 — CAN’T AFFORD TO MARRY [ARTICLE]

CAN’T AFFORD TO MARRY

BY L. B. W.

“When are you and Mildred going to be married?” The speaker sat opposite the young man addressed, smoking a cigar. “If you mean Mildred Osborne, never. It’s all very well to dance with such a girl, but no poor man would think of marrying her.” “Why not, Ned? She’s handsome, accomplished, in the best set, dresses exquisitely, and will have a fortune when Mr. Osborne dies.” “Look here, Grayson, do you think lam a fool ? I can’t afford to marry Miss Osborne, and it is because she is in the fashionable set, dresses expensively, and has expectations from her father. I am only just beginning to succeed at the bar. It is a long time, as you konw from your experience as a physician, before a large income can be earned in a profession. As yet I am not earning such an income. Miss Osborne has been brought up luxuriously. Her father keeps a carriage, goes to a watering-place every summer, and entertains constantly when at home. Mildred’s very dresses, my dear fellow, would eat up half my earnings.” “I think you ate hard on her. Any true woman, if she marries the man she loves, will cheerfully submit to sacrifices for his sake.” • “So it is said, and so, in justice to the sex, most of them try to. But, Grayson, old fellow, yon and I know, from our own experience, that habit is stronger than good resolutions. A rich man’s daughter is not the girl for a poor man’s wife. It isn’t her fault; it’s her misfortune.” “But you lose sight of the fact that Mildred will inherit a large share of her father’s property.” “Not at all. Mr. Osborne is only fifty, hale and hearty. He will probably live for twenty years yet, and not till he dies will his daughter get •one cent. At the end of twenty years, yes, long before that, I should be ruined, or else broken down in health in consequence of being in debt and ■overworked.” “Well, perhaps you are right. See what a scrape Harrv Leonard got into!”

“Yes, he married the daughter of a man said to be worth a million. Old Mr. Johnson did not give her a penny. She had her wedding outfit, but that was all. On Harry’s part there was nothing to support her with, only what he made out of his business, and, being a young merchant, he realized a very little wealth. Jessie Johnson was stylish and fond of making a dash. Harry took her to the Chaplin House, for he had sense enough to know he could not go to housekeeping in the way Jessie would want to go. In the summer they went to Saratoga, for Jess would no t hear of a country boarding-house. There she had her pony phaeton, and a dozen or more Paris dresses. In the fall the hard times came, and Harry failed. I understand he owes twice as much as he can pay. Now this, I admit, is an exceptional case; yet this is the type of a large class, and a class that frighten young men and keep them from marrying.” “But what’s to be done? We all ■expect to marry some day, and there .are no girls except girls like Mildred and Jess.” ’’ “I beg your pardon. There are plenty of them, but, of course, to find them I fear you must go outside of the fashionable set, for it is only the daughters and wives of rich men who can afford to be fashionable. If you wish a wife you must look elsewhere for one, unless you expect to be a millionaire.” “Where would you look ?” “There are plenty of families where the daughters are well educated, and yet are able to help themselves. I know ope daughter who makes all their hatsrand bonnets; another is a dressmaker. All attend to "household affairs, making cake, desserts and good bread. They are quite as companionate as Mildred Osborne or Jess Johnson. No' paan with the right feeling wishes to make his wife a ■drudge;, but men have: tp work, and ■ffhy should not an able woman take her share ?” ' you speak of it, I ■can recall -such families also; ■ but \|hey don’t go to public balls and dancp/the. ger map.” IF , “No. The daughters of such families are taught that home virtues are better than surface accomplishments. Men want true women for wives, not mere butterflies.” “I shall be curious, Ned, to see your wife.” “If you ,will come with me to-mor-row evening I will introduce you to the young lady who has promised to fill that position. She is the daughter of u, refined widow, and brought up like the girls I hate been describing toy®u. She does not go out in society much, for she cannot afford it. As for her real accomplishments, her knowledge of literature, music and art are as far

above Miss Osborne as heaven is alx>ve the earth. With the fashionable girl it’s chatter, chatter, chatter, and nothing else; dance and gossip!” “Come, come, you are too severe; a good many of them are brilliant talkers, at least I find them so.” “Yes, the champagne foams for the public; for you the stale wine only is left.” So the conversation ends. Ned married the girl to whom he introduced his friend, and Grayson, after a few months, married her sister. They certainly are supremely happy in cosy, modest homes - of their own—happier than if either had married Miss Osborne or one of her class. We wonder, sometimes, if mothers are not more to blame than the daughters for the frivolous, fashionable life. But we will let them decide.