Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 32, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 August 1889 — Page 7

DELAYED PERMISSION.

I came upon the sod-house about dusk one evening as I was traveling “cross country” through Western Kansas. It was rough, low, mean and dirty, but never the less was the abode cf a lively family, the Doddsworths, as I found out later. I could go no further and so stopped, asked for lodgings, put out my horse and sat down to talk with my host. “You may hafter sleep out ter the barn part o’ the night,” he volunteered. “Why,” I asked. “Wa’al, young Bemis is cornin’ over hyar pretty reg’lar to spark Marv, an’ ” “Oh, pa! how can you talk so!” chimed in the buxom daughter of the family, immediately flouncing out of the kitchen into the best room. “So he is stuck on Mary ?“ I suggested. “You bet he is. He’s over here reg’lar. He’s a nice fellow, Bemis is.” “What does he do?” “Oh. he farms ’Squire Lewis’ land on shares. He ain’t got much money, that’s the only thing; but I don’t care. ay they’re big enough to marry when mey’re old enough and old enough when they’re big enough, money or no money.” “Does Mary like him?” “Yes, tolerable. She says he’s kinder bashful—not near so peart as the schoolmaster that’s shinin’ up to Tilly Marks; but I say she shall have Bemis as srire as my name’s Doddsworth.” “Well,” I put in, “you had better let ’em go and marry.” “That’s what I say; but, you see, Sally, my wife, is dead again’ it. She’s awful opinionated, Sally is, and don’t use good sense. Now, fer me, -when I see I’m wrong, I always admit it and let it go; but she won’t. She just sticks and hangs an’ won’t gin’ up. You want to be careful of gitting in an argyment with her.” I said I would and remembered the caution when Doddsworth had gone out to milk the cows, she approached me and began to talk about Mary and Bemis. I remembered what he had said.

“I ain’t got nothin’ against Bemis,” she admitted. “He’s a good enough boy; rather bashful, of course, but Mary likes him.” “Is your husband opposed to the match?” I suggested, to see what she ■would say. “Of course, I don’t like to talk much about it, but he’s kinder offish about it. He’s awful set, Doddsworth is. Sometimes I think he don’t use good sense. Now, when I see I’m wrong I’m willing to admit it and drop the matter; but he won’t. He just sticks an’ hangs an’ won’t give up. He don’t exactly like Bemis an’ he won’t give up that Mary can marry him.” Here, thought I, is a grand chance to bring two clashing natures together and make them work for Mary’s happiness. Mary was already entertaining her lover in the “best room,” which was the only other room in the house but the kitchen, in which we sat, and I concluded I’d, please the pair as well as surprise them, so when the husband came in, I addressed him: “I was just talking to your wife, Mr. Doddsworth, and she seemed perfectly willing to have young Bemis for a son-in-law. Now, you expressed the same opinion to me a while ago, and as you are both very liberal in your views, why not unite on this question ?” “Is that so, Sally?” exclaimed the husband. “Be you willin’ ?” “Well, I ” she began, when she caught my eye and frankly admitted. “Yes, I ain’t got nothin’ against him, but you was always so obstinate that “No, Sally, it was you that was set in your ” “See here,” I put in, “no quarreling now. You are agreed in this matter. Let’s break the news to the young folks.” They had no opportunity of demurring before I opened the door leading to the “best room.” There was a sudden shuffling of chairs and feet as we entered, as though the lass and lover had moved rapidly apart. “Mary,” said I, for I rather enjoyed the theatrical aspect of the case, “your folks are willing that you should marry this young man if you want to. I hope you will be happy and prosperous.” “Say, you city dude,” drawled the young man in question, “whose funeral is this, anyhow? Do you run this household now ? Mary and I don’t care fer yer blessin’. We was. married by Squire Quinn last night when the folks thought we was at the dance.” “The folks,” who had been standing in the back ground, somewhat awed by my officiousness, and myself, beat a precipitate retreat. Our kindness had come too late. I rode on the next morning and have not seen Bemis or the Doddsworths since.— C. M. Harger, in Detroit Free Press.

The Baby in the Bureau.

There lived in a Pennsylvania town n few years ago a woman who managed this baby-in-the-bureau question most skillfully. To begin with, the baby, as well as the bureau, was her own. Her method was to remove the two upper drawers, and seating the child in the lower drawer, gently slide it shut and turn the key. The child then sat up of its own accord, and with its head in the space vacated by the upper drawers, crowed merrily away for hours. Not unfrequently, the mother thus left the child to attend to her duties in another room, or even to go on shopping expeditions requiring an hour or two. Confined in this improvised cradle, the child was not always quiet,

but it could neither harm itself nor any of the objects about it, and that the mother knew.

Another Belief Killed.

Supernatural, almost diabolical, influences are attributed to the famous upas tree, w hich, according to all accounts, is so deadly that if a hot wind passes over it an odor is carried along which is fatal to whoever breathes it. Old letters, written from Paris in 1642, by “The Turkish Spy,” describe a plant cultivated in a garden in the city that blasts all that growls within ten cubits of its roots. They call it “ill neighbor.” He declares that there was a withered circle around it, while the tree itself was green and thrifty. There is a tradition of a poison or or upas tree that grow s in the Island of java, from which a putrid steam rises and kills whomsoever it touches. Foersch, a Dutch physician (1783), says: “Not a tree or a blade of grass is to be found in the valley or surrounding mountains. Not a beast or bird or reptile or living thing lives in the vicinity. On one occasion 1,600 refugees encamped within fourteen miles of it, and all but 300 died within two months.”

The falsehood of this story is exposed by Bennett, who says": “The tree (upas) while growing, is quite inocuous, though the juice may be used for poison; the whole neighborhood is most richly covered with vegetation; men may fearlessly walk under- the tree and birds roost in its branches.” Darwin, in his “Loves of the Plants,” has perpetuated Foersch’s fable when he says:

On the blasted heath Fell Upas sits, the hydra tree of death. It is probable that the fable of the blighting influence of the upas tree has been derived from the fact that there is in Java a small tract of land on which nothing can live. This is caused, not by the “fell upas,” but by emanations of carbonic acid gas, which are constantly going on. At the same time, it is quite true that the juice of the upas is a deadly poison.— All the Year Round.

A Chinaman’s Funeral.

At the funeral of a Chinaman in Philadelphia some queer ceremonies were observed. The deceased was clothed in garments of the lightest texture, so that he might not suffer from the heat in his new abode. He wore a straw hat, and in one hand he held a fan. The corpse of a Chinaman is always provided with money to pay its expenses to the unknown country. One of the mourners dropped between Hong’s teeth a 25-cent piece, and about a score of the others came forward with their quarter subscriptions. The undertaker could not get all of them in the dead Chinaman’s mouth, and half of the silver pieces were placed in his pocket. The ceremonies finished, the coflin was closed, and over the top of it were placed strips of red, white, and black bunting, the colors of the Sing Ye Hong Society (Chinese freemasons), of which the dead man had been a member.

He Spoke from Experience.

“What are you doing here?” said a policeman to a suspicious-looking small boy in the Central Park yesterday morning. “Oh, nothin’; only waitin’ to hear mother tell pa what she thinks of him for not coinin’ home last night,” replied the boy, calmly. “Where do you live?” “Down there by the Grand Central Depot.” “Why, you are half a mile away.” “That’s all right,” said the boy, with a grin; “the farther you git away from mother when pap comes in like that the better it sounds. I bet the old man wishes to goodness gracious he was up here with his lovin’ son. and don’t you fergit it.” — New York Mercury.

A Desirable Tenement.

“But why do you charge such, an enormous rent for a flat in such a—well, in such a plebeian neighborhood?” “Gdod gracious man, there’s a saloon in the basement, and you can get into it on Sunday by going down the backstairs.”—Boston Courier.

A Compliment.

Tom (angrily) —“Did you hear Dick call me a fool ? ” Harry—“ No; on the contrary he paid you a compliment.” “ Ah, what did he say ? ” “ He said you ■were not the only fool in the world.”— Yankee Blade. Air cushions are supposed to be an invention of modern times, but that this luxury was anticipated as long ago as the time of Ben Jonson is evident from a passage in the “Alchemist,” where Sir Epicure Mammon enumerates to Surly a list of good things to be expected. Among these indulgences is this prophetic forecast of modern inflated india rubber beds and cushions: I will have all my beds blown up, not stuffed; Down is too hard. Hotel proprietor—What is the matter with that sick gentleman in my office? Physician Jim-jams. “Sir, that gentleman is one of my oldest guests, and has the most expensive apartments in the house.” “O! he is suffering from nervous prostration.” Miss De Plain—Doctor, what is the secret of beauty? Family Physician (confidentially)—Be born pretty. No well-drilled society man will admit that he is bored. A thing of beauty is a joy for ever—until it goes out of fashion.

Episode at Johnstown.

A party driving through the mountains picked up a ragged little chap not much more than big enough to walk. From his clothing he was evidently a refugee. “Where are your folks?” he was asked. “We’re living at aunty’s now.” “Did you all get out?” “Oh, we’re all right! that is, all except two of sister’s babies. Mother and little sister wasn’t home, and they got out all right.” “Where were you ?” “Oh, I was at sister’s house. We was all in the water and fire. Sister’s man —her husband, you know—took us upstairs, and he punched a hole through the roof, and we all climbed out and got saved. ” “How about the babies?” “Oh, sister was carrying two of them in her arms, and the bureau hit her and knocked them out, so they went down!”

The child had unconsciously caught one of the oddest and most significant tricks of speech that have arisen from the calamity. Nobody speaks of a person’s having been drowned, or killed, or lost, or uses any other of the general expressions for sudden death. They have simply “gonedown.” Everybody seems to avoid harsh words in referring to the possible affliction of another. Eunhonistic phrases are substituted for plain questions. Two old friends met for the first time since the disaster. “My God! I am glad to see you,” exclaimed the first. “Are you all right?” “Yes, I’m doing first rate,” was the reply. • The first friend looked awkwardly about a moment, and then asked with suppressed eagerness aud emotion: “And—and, your family—are they all—well ?” There was a -world of significance in the hesitation before the last word. “Yes. Thank God, not one of them went down.” A man who looked like a prosperous banker, and who evidently came from a distance, drove through the mountains toward South Fork. On the way he met a handsome young man in a silk hat, mounted on a mule. The two shook hands eagerly. “Have you anything ?” “Nothing.” The younger man turned about and the two rode on silently through the forest road. Inquiry later developed the fact that the banker-looking man was really a banker whose daughter had been lost from one of the overwhelmed trains. The young man w r as his son. Both had been searching for some clew to the young woman’s fate, and each was ready to bear bad news to the other when they met.

Be Merciful to Yourself,

And heed the appeals for assistance put forth by your liver, when the organ is out of order. Among these are distress in the right side and through the right shoulder blade, yellowness of the skin and eyeballs, furred tongue, sour breath, sick headache, and, above all, irregularity of the bowels. The mercy you extend to the afflicted organ is wisely shown by a prompt course of medication with Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters, most genial of alteratives, and the hepatic gland early reciprocates the deserved attention by resuming its secretive functions actively and regularly. Among the accompanying good results are renewed digestion, freedom from headaches, and a resumption of activity of the bowels. All bilious symptoms disappear,, and appetite and sleep improve. Beneficent are the effects of the Bitters in malarial disease, kidney disorder, rheumatic ailments and nervousness.

A Bold Cavalry Leader.

A prominent Confederate once told the writer that when Sherman’s army assumed the offensive there were three or four regiments of cavalry which would wheel on the Confederate flank like chain lightning and strike like a whole division. It was Gen. J. T. Wilder’s brigade of mounted infantry, armed with Spencer repeating rifles. They had come down from Rosecrans’ army and went back with Thomas, and those repeating rifles made music. Gen. Wilder was a New-Yorker by birth, learned the iron business in Ohio, and after the war, in 1867, built two blast furnaces at Rockwood, near Chattanooga, the first furnaces ever erected in that country which used mineral fuel, and they are still running. Gen. Wilder is at the Ebbitt, a tall, vigorous man, with short, white whiskers and a bluff, hearty manner. He has disposed of his interests in Chattanooga, and is now building the Charleston, Cincinnati and Chicago Railroad. He has done many things in his eventful life.— Washington Post. “Thebe is a tide in the affairs of men which, if taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.” If your affairs are at a low ebb now, don’t fail to write to B. F. Johnson & Co.. 1009 Main St., Richmond, Va., who have plans that will enable you to make money rapidly.

What She Would Do.

A New York lady, who is not very bright, was reading the proceedings of the McQuade trial, and was very indignant over the testimony. “I wish I was the judge in that court,” she exclaimed. “What would you do?” asked her husband, “would you get up and leave the room ?” “No, indeed, I wouldn’t. I would tell McQuade to leave the room and never show his face there again!” Dobbins’ Electric Soap does not chap the hands, being perfectly pure. Many people afflicted with Salt Rheum have been cured by its use. Preserves and whitens clothes. Have your grocer order it and try it now. Implicit trust in the ultimate integrity of human nature is all very well in a prayer meeting but it won’t work for a cent in an ordinary grocery stere.

Why He Returned.

“Well, sir,” said the old gentleman indignantly, “what are you doing around here again? I thought that delicate hint I gave von just as you left the front door last night would give you to understand that I don’t like you very well,” and the speaker looked at his boot in a reminiscent way. “It did,” said the young man. as a Kilrain look of mingled pain and admiration came over his face. “But I thought I would come and ask you ” “Ask me what?” “If you wouldn’t like to join our foot-ball association?”— Boston Beacon.

Confidence Begot of Success.

So confident are the manufacturers of that world-famed remedy. Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery, that it will do all that they represent, in the cure of liver, blood and lung diseases, that; after witnessing its thousands of cures for many years past, they now feel warranted in selling it (as they are doing, through druggists) under a positive guarantee of its giving satisfaction in every case, or money paid for it will be refunded. No medicine of ordinary merit could be sold under such severe conditions with profit to its proprietors, and no other medicine for the diseas-s for which it is recommended was ever before sold under a guarantee ot a cure or no pay. In uH Mood taints and impurities of whatever name or nature, it is most positive in its curative effects. Pimples, blotches, eruptions and all skin and scalp diseases are radically cured bv this wonderful medicine. Serii ulous disease may affect the glands, causing swellings or tumors; the bones, causing “fe-ver-sot es.",“white-swellings," or “hip-joint disease;* or the tissues of the lungs, causing pulmonary consumption. No matter in which one of its myriad forms it crops out, or manifests itself, “Gdlden Medical Discovery” will cure it if used persoveringly and in time. Its thousands of cures are the best advertisements for Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy. Patient—l’m not afraid to die, doctor, but I do dread being buried alive. Doctor (cheerfully) Don’t let that worry you. I’ll see that you ain’t.

Out of Sorts Is a feeling peculiar to persons of dyspeptic tendency, or it may be caused by change of climate, season, or life. The stomach is out of order, the head aches or does not feel right, appetite is capricious. the nerves seem overworked, the mind is contused and irritable. Tlds condition finds au excellent corrective in Hood’s Sarsaparilla, which, by its regulating and toning powers, soon restores harmony to the system, and gives that strength of mind, nerves, and body which makes one feel well. Hood’s Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only by C. 1. HOOD & CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass. 100 Doses One Dollar to 88 I* day, Samples worth >2.16, FREE; not under thfc horse’s feet. Write BrewsSafety Rein-Holder Co., Holly. ' T lch. MENTION THIS PAHEK wm warns* to iorni|.u. HnilE CTIinV Bookkeeping, Business Forma, UlflE QI UM I s Penmanship, Arltbmetic.Short-. hand, etc., thoroughly taught by mall. Circulars free. Bryant’s Business College. Buffalo, N.Y. MENTION THIS PAPER whin wuiii.n to munuu. CATON’S fßewoh vitalizers. UH I Uli w Manly Vi joy. and th* only Legitimate hpecifie fee Sexual Debility and Leet Vitality known. A Marvel loti* Invigorator. entire> Wharmleaa. By mall. >l, 6 for Ciroulara free. DK. CAI ON, Boatau MENTION THIS PAPKK wmsn wimit to advbstimbim. HIGHLAND PARK, ILL., NORTHWESTERN MILITARY ACADEMY, Prepares for College, the Government Academies, and Business. Bend for Catalogue.

7“ „ paid sny aetlvs nun or woman to Mil our good. WANT ED “Y “ m P u an d H’o at hum,. Salary paid promptly and ezpanua In advance. Pul 1 parUN Honiara and aample oau FREE. Wemaanjuat o*l inv what we.»y. Standard Silverware oALAni. Co., Lock Boz 6308, Bnaton, Mau. MENTION THIS PAPa.lt wmam warriao to advsmtukm. DETECTIVES Wanted In every county. Shrewd men to act under Instruction. In our Secret Service. Experience not noceisary. Rend 2c. Btampf GrannanDetectlveßureauCo. 44 Arcade, Cine I nnati.O. DADWAY’S II READY RELIEF. THE GREAT CONQUEROR OF PAIN, Applied externally, instantly re'ieves Sprains, Bruises, Backache, Fain in the Chest or Sides, Headache, Toothache, or any other external pain, CONGESTIONS, INFLAMMATIONS, Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Lumbago, Sciatica, Pains in the Small of the Back, etc. CURES ALL SUMMER COMPLAINTS, Cramps, Spasms, Sour Stomach, Nausea, Vomiting, Heartburn, DIARRHCEA, Colic, Cholera Morbus, Painting Spells. Internally, half to a teaspoon ful in half a tumbler of water. 50c. a bottle. All .Druggists. DADWAY’S n PILLS, An excellent and mild Cathartic. Purely Vegetable. The Safest and best Medicine in the world for the Cure of all Disorder* of the LIVER, STOMACH OR ROWELS. Taken according to direction* they will restore health and renew vitality. Price 25 eta. a Box. bold by all Druggist*.

JOSEPH H. HUNTER, SSS Dryant & Stratton Chicago Business College t Uon, CaUJogrue, term., ete., FKEK. Addreu H. B. BUY ANT 4. BON. Proprietory ST Wo recommend thio college to our readers. Mention thU paper when you write.

.TheGHAS-A-VOGELERCQ* QOE AN NAUR ma*l® by our Agent*. "" "UUn THE DR. PERKINS VfcW MEDICAL CO., Richmond, Va. iSfil B CHADWICK’S MANUAL CCNT EfDETC OI * •VPlicstlon enclosing one OLm I rrist t (2c ) utalnp, by addreaelug THEODORE HOLLAND. P. 0. Box 120. PMlada.. Pa. a aa aa A MONTH and more is earned by I!’ ’] | I ■ I graduate, who spent 6 months or !%>■; Nk 11 11 n at the college Send address of g 9 B I I ■ I trieuds and get circular and beautiwir I uJ v tul apeciiue s of penmanship FREBL Both sexes attend. Shorthand taught by nnuX. BUSINESS COLIEGE, Sterling, IIL FJJ Piso’s Remedy for Catarrh is the EE’ kJ Best, Easiest to Use, and Cheapest. fofl BSold by druggists or sent by midi. 50c. E. T. Hazeltine, Warren, Pa. I® HALF RATES — To ™— “Warming Regions WEST, SOUTHWEST, NORTHWEST. U^? r .j. , ?l!c. ulars o * u on your Ticket Agent or addren*. ES. EUSTIS, Geu’l Pass. Agt.C. B.tQ. it,H..China*®. IES3gWEBmWNTC> -v I" 1 1 y,’U dare to sax that Iga’SlJßS&’SKaJSffl Jolies of Binghamton, Binghanitou, N. y„ doesn’t selltb* K K Am wbiM very ljest FIVE-TON ■HRlimiUB M E 3)Beam Box, T>;reßeam,forePtl * rec H bt ' every size, JOU ‘' Jonga he pays the frelgM.'*’ NORTHERN PACIFIC IfILOW PRICE RAILROAD LARDS® FREE Government LANDS. t9*gILMONB OF ACMS ot each 111 Minnesota. North' Montana. Idaho, Washington and Oregon. CElin CAR Publications with Maps describing Th®. dCHU run BEST Agricultural, Grazing and Timber Lands now open to Settlors Sent Free. Addraw, CIIAS. B. LARBIIM.T?. WIMHC"* sls. MB FREE TRADE PRICES! ■<™^ III *S45«I M S 1& I fJI now selling our WESTW w® wiUl 1411 “t'aohmente and wanIRF Asl ranted for 5 years tor only SIS. if bend tor circular and see full de- -. M JjNMKJwI scriptlo’i of this and other stvles, >9 M- A. SCUIXEN & C 0... WkA*"*-**- |C2 Wfeat Lake St., Chicago, 111. MXh'HON THIS PAPER waw wawwa re ...He.... A NEW INVENTION ■PALMER'S Patented June 19, Price, One Dollar. Magnetism and Menthol as a Remedial and Curative Agent.

From time to time many invention* and devloew nave been plabed upon the market claiming to cure catarrh..neuralgia, bronchitis, etc., many of which, are said to contain electric or magnetic curative powers. Dr. Palmer i* a gentleman who ba* devoted a life of study to the subject of catarrh and diseases of thehead, throat, and lungs, and some time since he commenced a series ot experiments with a view to determining whether any combination could be. formed which would kill the parasite and act as a. healing power at the same time, and at length succeeded indetermining that menthol, when combined! with magnetism, would do so, but how to arrange these seemingly opposite agents so as to render their use convenient and effectual was a question of H °m e ; difficulty. At length he succeeded in confining within a vulcanite tube three inches long and about three-quarters of au inch in diameter a perfect magnetic battery in the form of a coll of steel wire. It* the interior of this battery is stored a fine grade of. imported menthol. The ends ot the tube are closed, by nickel caps, which, when removed, admit of tha> free inhalation of the electro-mentbollzed air. Tha menthol acts as a germacide, while the magnetoelectric force stimulating the weakened nerve's of' the diseased parts into healthy action forms a wonderful healing power, thereby successfully stopping atty further depredations. The fumes when inhaled are refreshing and cooling, and for the immediate relief and speedy cure of ‘ catarrh, cold in the head, hay fever, headache, neuralgia, catarrhal deafness, etc., it is uuequaled. It cures headache in five minute*. More throat la pne ot the diseases immediately affected by the Inhaler. Commencing cold* can be broken up in M hours by a few inspirations from this little benefactor. To clear the throat and head, and produce sound and refreshing sleep at night, it has no equal. Tbw I’lcasant and effect wonderful. Nothing like it has ever been placed on the market., before. Ils price is moderate, its working is mapyelouH, and no family can afford to be without one of these Inventions. Beware of imitation, as there are unscrupulous-, persons engaged in the manufacture of a spurious inha.er that strongly resembles the genuine. Full directions, testimonials, etc., sent with each., instrument U youi are afflicted with Catarrh, send 81.00 andtt get a Magnetic Inhaler, which is certain to afford’ and a permanent cure. Address ChtoMgo, S Tu’. We,terM A B® nt « 271 Franklin 8t» «I prescribe and fully irse Big G a* the only lecific for the certain cum 1 thl* disease. .H. INGRAHAM.M. U», Amsterdam, N. V. We have sold Big G farfaction. D.B. DYCHBAOOL Chicago, lIX. C.N. U, No. 851«8~ WHEN WHITING TO ADVERTISERS- ’» please say you saw the udvertl-emeu* In this paper.