Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 August 1889 — REPUBLICANS ARE VERY HUNGRY. [ARTICLE]

REPUBLICANS ARE VERY HUNGRY.

Which Fact Induces a Charitable Democratic Postmaster to Resign—A Letter that Must Have Made Mr. Harrison Smile. A Washington dispatch says: President Harrison recently received the resignation of the Postmaster at Mount Carmel, 111. It is as follows, and is worth reading: “To the Hon. B. Harrison, President, etc.: “Sib —By the grace of God and Grover Cleveland I am Postmaster at Mount Carmel. My official term will expire Jan. 20, 1890.’ In addition to handling the mails of the city I am also the editor of the Mount Carmel Register, a live, local Democratic newspaper, established in 1839, and published at $1.25 a year, cash in advance; a discount of 20 per cent, to ministers and Presidents. “While the office has agreed with me and I have in the main with the office, and while I might reasonably entertain the hope of holding on for eight months longer, yet I feel it my duty to tender my resignation. Being a Democrat I have preached that ‘to the victors belong the spoils.’ I feel disposed to practice that which I preach. “Your immediate predecessor hoped to build up his party by keeping the opposition in office. You are probably aware, if you are at all familiar with the vocabulary of true and trite sayings, that his name is now Dennis. “1 am moved further to tender you my resignation because of the anxiety of a barn yard full of patriots to succeed me. I believe that a tariff is a tax. They do not. Therefore they are of your own kith and kindred, and he who provides not for his own household is worse than an infidel. lam told that you are not built that way. “But to resume the thread of my discourse: The boys who are anxious to be my successor are very hungry; they have been feeding on shucks and icicles for four long, weary years; the official calf is fat, and they yearn to taste its tender joints. They fought (among themselves), they bled (at the nose), and are willing to die for the g. o. p. When I asserted that you were the Chinamen’s candidate and ate rat-tail soup with chop-sticks they swore by Dudley and Foster that it was a campaign canard and threatened to detail blocks of five to fry the fat out of me. Fortunately forme their threats were never carried into execution. “They carried torches, drank with the coons, and sang ‘Grandpa's hat will just fit Benny,’ and did divers and many foolish things, none of which would they have been guilty of doing had they not scented an aroma of postmaster on the crisp morning air. And the paeans of praise which they sounded when it became evident that you ‘had got there, Eli,’ will nev.er be a Sahara in my memory. “For these and other reasons unnecessary to mention I tender you my resignation, with the hope that my successor will be animated by a similar 'spirit in 1893. If he is, your Democratic successor will be spared the painful necessity of ‘turning the rascal out.’ I am respectfully yours, “Frank W. Havill, P. M. “N. B.— I would rather be right than be postmaster.”