Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 July 1889 — CARL DUNDER. [ARTICLE]

CARL DUNDER.

He Delivers an Address to the Children of America. Dear Shildrexs : Yon vhas all right. Doan’ let somepody make you belief dot yon doan’ has some good times. If I could pe some shilds again I kick oop my heels like a bird und doan’ care for nopody. I shall nefer be shmall again, und wear some kneebreeches und play horse mit a broomstick, und vhen I reflect on dot I feels some lumps in my throat. Yhen a man comes along und says he vhas glad he vhasn’t some shildrens any more doan’ you pelief him. He says dot pecause he doan’ take any comfort and doan’ want nopody else to. He vhas lame und cross, und his bones ache, und his head vhas growing bald, und he vhas shealous of you und wants revenge. Maype it vhas petter for me dot I vhas a girl, but I doan’ know. It vhas awful nice to be a sweet young girl, und to be called angels, und to has der poys look at you so shently like a sheep. If you vhas a girl doan’ you be ashamed of it. Dot vhas all right und according to Hoyle. Maype you can’t climb trees, run out nights und go in swimming py cter mill pond, but if you go py a circus you vhas in der front seats, und somepody always pays for your ice cream und puvs your ticket to der picnic. If I vhas a girl I keep my face so clean ash nefer vhas. I make my voice shust like music. I walk along mit a nip! nip! nip! I keep my hands white und my hair combed, und vhen somepody meets me und says: “Hello, Susan, how you vhas ?” I answer him: “If you please, sir, my name vhas Birdie, und I vhas so weller ash nefer vhas.” If I could be a leedle girl, I learn how to sew, und knit, und make some bread, und shplit wood, und bring up coal, und wash dishes, und hoe in der garden, und den vhen I grows oop und vhas married my husband would say: “Ah, noble womans, you vhas der capital prize in der lottery!” How bully it vhas to bS some boys. He doan’ has some taxes to pay—nopody talks politics by him—he doan’ has some barns dot burn down mit no insurance. Nopody wants to borrow money of him—no gas bills to pay—nopody comes to insure his life. All lie has to do vhas to go by der schoolhouse, play marbles, fly kites, see der circus procession, eat sweet-cakes und grow oop to lie Governor. Dot vhas all, shildrens. Doan’ you bo troubled. It vhas all right. You vhas getting along petter as could be expected by der circumstances, und all you has to do vhas to wipe off your noses und speak nothings' to nopody.— Detroit Free Press.