Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 July 1889 — PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.

Knit goods —Fine-tooth combs. A current remark—l must make some jelly this fall. It is queer, but a lively bolt often results in a dead-lock. In* dependence day all tbe year round at tbe poor-house. Taken for Standing Bear—a boy arrested for bathing in the river. Boarding-house people ought not to expe.et dressed beef in hot weather. AT is very natural for an officer to be a little peppery when he musters his men. John Wheel, of Dawson, Ga., eats great quantities of flies. That is a fly-wheel. A modest blush suffused her gentle face, For she had just been asked to wed, And she replied with sweet St. Louis grace, “Why, cert,” she said. Cobwiggeb —My doctor’s bill wa3 something enormous. Brown—So you didn’t have your pains for nothing. Little Sister —l know what ‘Teamin’ by rote’ means.” Little Brother— So do I. It means learnin’ a thing the way the feller wrote it. Jollyman —Y ou ain’t interested in the bucket shop question, are you ? Broker —No; Why do you ask? “Well, I see you are a little pail this morning.” “You must find life in such a place as Chicago very diversified,” said an Eastern woman to one living in the Western city. “Rather say divorceified,” i*esponded the Chicagoan. First Omalian—The doctor says my Jersey cow has the ague. Did you ever hear of such a thing? Second Omahan —No; but tbe idea is a good one. You can Lave a milk shake whenever you wish it.

Fresh barber (shaving a customer) YVho is tbat old hen going along the other side of the street, with a bustle like a boxing glove? Customer (insing deliberately and looking)—That? Oh, she’s my wife. Doctor —But—dear me! You have had three glasses of beer daily. I only allowed you one! Patient right, Doctor. You’re the third medical man I’ve consulted, and they each allow me one glass, so that makes it right, you see. Three weeks after an old Cincinnati bachelor had got manned, he met a friend and said to him, “Why is my wife like a baker who is making 1 a small gooseberry pie ?” “I don’t know,” said the friend “It is because she is glowing a little tart,” answered tlie disgraceful creature. THE FLIES’ DRILL GROUND. The man who to the barber goes And gets a shaven crown Emerges from the chair with glee, The happiest man in town. But ere a day has passed away, With tearful oaths and cries He 11 curse the hour he made his head A drill-ground for the flies.

AFTER TASCOTT.

In the far West: First detective—- “ Did you watch the house all night? What did you find out?” Second detective—“ Yes, I did, and it had twins!” CITY MAIDEN VISITING IN THE COUNTRY.

I wonder if there is anything in that.

Oh, heavens!