Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 July 1889 — THE PONCA CELEBRATION. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

THE PONCA CELEBRATION.

BY C. F. CARTER.

jW A S Independence ■Day in Ponca ; Ponca was in holiday attire ; Ponca was in a blaze of glory; Ponca, individually and municipally speaking, was in a transport of patriotism bordering on beatitude. It was the one hundred and twelfth anniversary of the signing of that immortal declaration that revolutionized the world, and Ponca proposed to ct'lebrato the

lay cm a scaled magnificence that would eclipse aven its own previous efforts in that direction, which was saying a groat deal. No other city in the breadth of four counties jould boast citizens more liberal, more publicspirited, or more keenly alive to the possibilities of profit in a properly conducted celebration. The brass band of no other town discoursed more enthusiastic but misguided melody; ao other committee on arrangements that was ever appointed could compass such mirrcles of mirth as the Ponca greased-pig races. Prom no other platform did oratory attempt such empyrean flights; from no other booths •was served such frigid lemonade. Knowing all this, and knowing, furthermore, that the Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., vras Announced as the speaker of the day, in prodigious type, that the Weekly Palladium had ordered expressly for the puipose, is it any wonder that farmers who wore so unfortunate as to roside at a distance from Ponca aroused their households at 1 la. m., in order that the -thoros might be disposed of, and the journey to

the Mecca of patriots accomplished in good season? Concerning the Hon. W. McClellan Favke, Esq., nobody hat any information further than that gentleman himself had furnished. He had alighted four weeks -before from the one mixed train that

"visited Ponca every twenty-tour hour.» and going to the leading hotel, had ordered a sumptuous feast, served in the bast room in the house. Very diguificd in bearing was the Hon. W. McClellan Fftvke, Esq. ; very impressive in conversation. True, bis coat wns in that condition sometimes described as shabby, and his shoes had certainly seen better days, but the Hon. Favke explained that he was just returning from a lengthened sojourn in his tin mines in the Black Hills. Of course it was impossible in that beastly mining camp to observe all those lictle amenities of the toilet he was accustomed to at his villa on the Hudson. He was on his way, so he said, to look after his beet sugar interests in the South of France, that hearing that there were indications of tin in the vicinity of Ponca, had thought the rumor worth investigating. The Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., visited the bluffs near the town, in company w r ith the Mayor and a few influential citizens, secured some specimens which lie submitted to mysterious tests in the privacy of his apartments, and .announced \ hat Ponca was underlaid by an immense storehouse oi mineral wealth of a value too stupendous for the mind of man to conceive. He was immediately tlected president, manager and treasurer of the Ponca Consolidated Comstock Mineral and Mining Company, and urged to push the development of the store>house to the utmost. Jtteal estate values at

once soared skyward, until back loti reached a figure more than equal to the total assessed valuation of the county. Everybody quit work, affected high rubber boots and talked of leads, tunnels and countershafts. Meanwhile, Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., needed a few articles of wearing apparel. His steward had neglected to make the remittance he had ordered—been on a drunk, perhaps—and to tell the truth he was a little embarrassed. Of course, he would make it warm for that steward, but for the present ho must crave a little indulgence, awkward as it was. Tne tailor was proud to he able to favor such a public benefactor with the best in his shop, aud begged him not to worry himself about the pay; the barber drove other customers out of his chair to attend to Hon. Fayke's toilet, and relied upon the Honorable’s generous memory for the score; the landlord of the Prince House ransacked the Ponca market for viands to tickle the distinguished gtent's paUl-e, aud left tho reckoning to his own good time. Every issue of the Woeklu Palladium contained front four to a dozen items concerning the Hon. Fayke, and was particularly lavish in praise of the financial skill he displayed in raising funds on what, thanks to his untiring efforts and the modest assistance of the Palladium, promised to bo tho grandest Fourth of July celebration tho county had over witnessed. In the conrso of his majestic progress down the street one day, the Hon. Fayke chivalrously

kicked a hungry cur that refused to get out of the way of Miss Erminie Moffatt, a maiden of uncertain years and romantic ideas, who had $5,000 to her credit in the Ponca National Bank, atul tho lady acknowledged the courtesy by fainting in liis arms. From that moment the Hon. Favke became her ardent admirer. Behold him this lovely summer morning upon Miss Erminie Moffatt’s front stoop. “And now, thou adored of my heart, I fain must tear myself from thy lovely arms, but only for a little while, only a little while.” “Those horrid committeemon take up so much of your time, I am positively jealous of them.” “Ah, fair one, ’tis my country calls and I must away. Upon this glorious day it is the duty of every true citizen to sacrifice all personal considerations for his country’s welfaro.” “Oh, you dear, noble man.” “Have you—a—Erminie—that is, have you a—everything in readiness for our flight?” “Yes.” “’Tis well. The hour for my speech approaches. A —of course you—a—havo all your funds out of the bank?” “Yes.” “Again ’tis well. Rsmemb r. after my speech the carriage, the flight, then—then, adored one, a long, long dream of bliss in my vine-clad cottage in sunny Ital v.” “Oh. won't it bo romantic.” “Be preparod then. For the present, adieu.” “By-Dv." “Good-by.” “Good-by.” Hon. W. McClellan Fayko, Esq., took his stately way to a grove of gnarled, sprawling box-elders, whitlior the outire population of Ponca, and of the county as well, had preceded him. Tho grove wat hemmed in on three sides by a turbid flood designated as the “creek,” while on the peninsula lhao formed the remaining bounen-y were gathered lumber wagons, market wagons, democrat wagons, wagons new and old—a wilderness of wagons. At tho side of the grove farthest from tho peninsula and almost overhanging the creek a rude platform had been erected to accommodate the orator of the day, an organ, and the Ponca Glee Club. Upon raised seats at the rear of this platform wero ranged thirty-eight young la lies dressed in white and wearing red pasteboard coronets

labeled in gilt, who w ere supposed to represent the States of the Union. Little girls in short, white dresses; young ladies in long, white dresses; and porty matrons in large, white dresses assisted their brothers, sweethearts and husbands to work the soft, black earth into a bottomless mine as they tramped a ceaseless round from platform to lemonade booth, and from lemonade booth to the merry-go-rounds. In the outskirts of the grove a party of boys were industriously filing anvils, while innumerable begrimed and perspiring smaller brothers were exploding firecrackers with an energy they never exhibited but once a year. The horses at the wagons neighed incessantly and the Ponca Comet Band executed its loudest music with tireless energy. Altogether it was a delightfully patriotic pandemonium into which Hon. Fayke’s stately steps led him. The Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., ascended the platform and beamed benignly upon the gaping multitude while the glee club rendered “Yankee doodle, keep it up, Yankee doodle dan-dy." Then the Hon. F’ayke stepped to the fron t and began: “Friends and fellow-citizens: “As the living representatives— a—as the lineal descendants,! may say, of our illustrious forefathers, it behooves us ”

Casting about for fitting words to round this elegant period the Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., cast his eye to the right and beheld a stranger coming quickly up the steps. There was nothing remarkable in his apiiearanee, but the Hon. Fayke turned pale and glanced to the left. Seeing another stranger coming up the steps on that side also he turned like a flash, and,, clearing the benches at a bound, dropped into the creek behind, immediately in advance of a couple of bullets from the strangers’ revolvers. The young ladies scr amed and tainted in a body. while the organist tried to crajvl into his instrument. Hurrying around to the rear of the platform tho strangers found the Hou. Favk- immovably stuck iu the treacherous mud. with the dirty water reaching to his armpits aud rapidly gaining on his mouth. He was hauled out by means of a rope thrown over his eh uildera, luadtd into a buggy aud driven away sh.voting a id shearing. The next issue of the J Vczlchj Palladium contained the following: “Our little city was thrown into quite a flurry of excitement on Independence Day by the arrest o! Hon. W. McCl llan Fayke. Esq", by a couple of dstectlves just as li&ivsi beginning an oralioa. We learu that his real name isßill McClellan, or ’Billy the Slick Un.’ He is wanted in Illinois to fiuislra fifteen years’ term for burglary. Also an indictment is watting for him for counterfeiting in Kentucky. We also learn that a New York Judge would like to hear

him explain how he came to forget to procure divorces from his other wives before he married the third time. The committee was thus left without the oration they had advertised so much, and the celebration came very near ending up iu a riot in consequence. We are glad of it. We offered some time ago to deliver the oration ourselves free gratis. But no ; the committee must hire the Hon. Fayke at an expense of SSO. The committee will have to make up this amount themselves as well as about S2OO more that the Hon. Favke collected for them but forgot to turn over. The Ponca Consolidated Comstock Mineral and Mining Company is also left to tho extent of $3,000 by Hon. Fayke’s management. In fact, nearly every man in our city mourns the Hon. Fayke’s departure from $lO to SIOO worth, and we understand that a certain lady’s property came very near going along with the rest.”

“AND NOW, THOU ADORED OF MY HEART.”

“HE WAS HAULED OUT BY MEANS OF A ROPE THROWN OVER HIS SHOULDERS.”