Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 July 1889 — Page 6

THE SAT WE CELEBRATE. s— N ''"N IZZ! Sputter 1 v BaD 8 ! Whoop ! /fTTHs/S WmSS*€' > Once more in his V In 111 % H — relentless grind m\/)W ffea, liath Time »• Turned out the day *? =T-1 *’IJT ff( we execr—cele- *' brate. r4J Proud bird of froe,Vy 7 Once more let thy >'“'4 w exultant squaw k */ wu '■ n 8t affrtghty* B od mouarchs of Q n * I Tremble as doth d wwtO’ttS t^le * ar lio teels the shakes on cowFrom quinine! iWtoTi- F=T"- Wake from thy '■% J{ * slumber, weary son of toil, At 3 o’clock a. m. and harken To the wild clangor of the deep-toned bells, The boom of cannon, and the maddening And bang incessant of the firecracker. Squib, torpedo, and the yell domoniac Dr the early hoodlum patriot. i Toss upon thy restless couch and listen To the far-reaching fishhom, the dreaded kazoo, The loud, angry, and defiant protest Of the neighboring rooster, and rejoice That July i comes only once a year! Was it for this, ye men of 76, Ye fought, and bled, aud whipped? What, fight eight years In order that this people might possess The toy pistol? Yet why these grumblings ? Men of America, Awake ! you cannot help yourselves ! Get up! Stir your lazy stumps. Be boys again, And help the youngsters celebrate the day.

THE PONCA CELEBRATION.

BY C. F. CARTER.

lay cm a scaled magnificence that would eclipse aven its own previous efforts in that direction, which was saying a groat deal. No other city in the breadth of four counties jould boast citizens more liberal, more publicspirited, or more keenly alive to the possibilities of profit in a properly conducted celebration. The brass band of no other town discoursed more enthusiastic but misguided melody; ao other committee on arrangements that was ever appointed could compass such mirrcles of mirth as the Ponca greased-pig races. Prom no other platform did oratory attempt such empyrean flights; from no other booths •was served such frigid lemonade. Knowing all this, and knowing, furthermore, that the Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., vras Announced as the speaker of the day, in prodigious type, that the Weekly Palladium had ordered expressly for the puipose, is it any wonder that farmers who wore so unfortunate as to roside at a distance from Ponca aroused their households at 1 la. m., in order that the -thoros might be disposed of, and the journey to

“AND NOW, THOU ADORED OF MY HEART.”

the Mecca of patriots accomplished in good season? Concerning the Hon. W. McClellan Favke, Esq., nobody hat any information further than that gentleman himself had furnished. He had alighted four weeks -before from the one mixed train that

“HE WAS HAULED OUT BY MEANS OF A ROPE THROWN OVER HIS SHOULDERS.”

"visited Ponca every twenty-tour hour.» and going to the leading hotel, had ordered a sumptuous feast, served in the bast room in the house. Very diguificd in bearing was the Hon. W. McClellan Fftvke, Esq. ; very impressive in conversation. True, bis coat wns in that condition sometimes described as shabby, and his shoes had certainly seen better days, but the Hon. Favke explained that he was just returning from a lengthened sojourn in his tin mines in the Black Hills. Of course it was impossible in that beastly mining camp to observe all those lictle amenities of the toilet he was accustomed to at his villa on the Hudson. He was on his way, so he said, to look after his beet sugar interests in the South of France, that hearing that there were indications of tin in the vicinity of Ponca, had thought the rumor worth investigating. The Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., visited the bluffs near the town, in company w r ith the Mayor and a few influential citizens, secured some specimens which lie submitted to mysterious tests in the privacy of his apartments, and .announced \ hat Ponca was underlaid by an immense storehouse oi mineral wealth of a value too stupendous for the mind of man to conceive. He was immediately tlected president, manager and treasurer of the Ponca Consolidated Comstock Mineral and Mining Company, and urged to push the development of the store>house to the utmost. Jtteal estate values at

jW A S Independence ■Day in Ponca ; Ponca was in holiday attire ; Ponca was in a blaze of glory; Ponca, individually and municipally speaking, was in a transport of patriotism bordering on beatitude. It was the one hundred and twelfth anniversary of the signing of that immortal declaration that revolutionized the world, and Ponca proposed to ct'lebrato the

once soared skyward, until back loti reached a figure more than equal to the total assessed valuation of the county. Everybody quit work, affected high rubber boots and talked of leads, tunnels and countershafts. Meanwhile, Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., needed a few articles of wearing apparel. His steward had neglected to make the remittance he had ordered—been on a drunk, perhaps—and to tell the truth he was a little embarrassed. Of course, he would make it warm for that steward, but for the present ho must crave a little indulgence, awkward as it was. Tne tailor was proud to he able to favor such a public benefactor with the best in his shop, aud begged him not to worry himself about the pay; the barber drove other customers out of his chair to attend to Hon. Fayke's toilet, and relied upon the Honorable’s generous memory for the score; the landlord of the Prince House ransacked the Ponca market for viands to tickle the distinguished gtent's paUl-e, aud left tho reckoning to his own good time. Every issue of the Woeklu Palladium contained front four to a dozen items concerning the Hon. Fayke, and was particularly lavish in praise of the financial skill he displayed in raising funds on what, thanks to his untiring efforts and the modest assistance of the Palladium, promised to bo tho grandest Fourth of July celebration tho county had over witnessed. In the conrso of his majestic progress down the street one day, the Hon. Fayke chivalrously

kicked a hungry cur that refused to get out of the way of Miss Erminie Moffatt, a maiden of uncertain years and romantic ideas, who had $5,000 to her credit in the Ponca National Bank, atul tho lady acknowledged the courtesy by fainting in liis arms. From that moment the Hon. Favke became her ardent admirer. Behold him this lovely summer morning upon Miss Erminie Moffatt’s front stoop. “And now, thou adored of my heart, I fain must tear myself from thy lovely arms, but only for a little while, only a little while.” “Those horrid committeemon take up so much of your time, I am positively jealous of them.” “Ah, fair one, ’tis my country calls and I must away. Upon this glorious day it is the duty of every true citizen to sacrifice all personal considerations for his country’s welfaro.” “Oh, you dear, noble man.” “Have you—a—Erminie—that is, have you a—everything in readiness for our flight?” “Yes.” “’Tis well. The hour for my speech approaches. A —of course you—a—havo all your funds out of the bank?” “Yes.” “Again ’tis well. Rsmemb r. after my speech the carriage, the flight, then—then, adored one, a long, long dream of bliss in my vine-clad cottage in sunny Ital v.” “Oh. won't it bo romantic.” “Be preparod then. For the present, adieu.” “By-Dv." “Good-by.” “Good-by.” Hon. W. McClellan Fayko, Esq., took his stately way to a grove of gnarled, sprawling box-elders, whitlior the outire population of Ponca, and of the county as well, had preceded him. Tho grove wat hemmed in on three sides by a turbid flood designated as the “creek,” while on the peninsula lhao formed the remaining bounen-y were gathered lumber wagons, market wagons, democrat wagons, wagons new and old—a wilderness of wagons. At tho side of the grove farthest from tho peninsula and almost overhanging the creek a rude platform had been erected to accommodate the orator of the day, an organ, and the Ponca Glee Club. Upon raised seats at the rear of this platform wero ranged thirty-eight young la lies dressed in white and wearing red pasteboard coronets

labeled in gilt, who w ere supposed to represent the States of the Union. Little girls in short, white dresses; young ladies in long, white dresses; and porty matrons in large, white dresses assisted their brothers, sweethearts and husbands to work the soft, black earth into a bottomless mine as they tramped a ceaseless round from platform to lemonade booth, and from lemonade booth to the merry-go-rounds. In the outskirts of the grove a party of boys were industriously filing anvils, while innumerable begrimed and perspiring smaller brothers were exploding firecrackers with an energy they never exhibited but once a year. The horses at the wagons neighed incessantly and the Ponca Comet Band executed its loudest music with tireless energy. Altogether it was a delightfully patriotic pandemonium into which Hon. Fayke’s stately steps led him. The Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., ascended the platform and beamed benignly upon the gaping multitude while the glee club rendered “Yankee doodle, keep it up, Yankee doodle dan-dy." Then the Hon. F’ayke stepped to the fron t and began: “Friends and fellow-citizens: “As the living representatives— a—as the lineal descendants,! may say, of our illustrious forefathers, it behooves us ”

Casting about for fitting words to round this elegant period the Hon. W. McClellan Fayke, Esq., cast his eye to the right and beheld a stranger coming quickly up the steps. There was nothing remarkable in his apiiearanee, but the Hon. Fayke turned pale and glanced to the left. Seeing another stranger coming up the steps on that side also he turned like a flash, and,, clearing the benches at a bound, dropped into the creek behind, immediately in advance of a couple of bullets from the strangers’ revolvers. The young ladies scr amed and tainted in a body. while the organist tried to crajvl into his instrument. Hurrying around to the rear of the platform tho strangers found the Hou. Favk- immovably stuck iu the treacherous mud. with the dirty water reaching to his armpits aud rapidly gaining on his mouth. He was hauled out by means of a rope thrown over his eh uildera, luadtd into a buggy aud driven away sh.voting a id shearing. The next issue of the J Vczlchj Palladium contained the following: “Our little city was thrown into quite a flurry of excitement on Independence Day by the arrest o! Hon. W. McCl llan Fayke. Esq", by a couple of dstectlves just as li&ivsi beginning an oralioa. We learu that his real name isßill McClellan, or ’Billy the Slick Un.’ He is wanted in Illinois to fiuislra fifteen years’ term for burglary. Also an indictment is watting for him for counterfeiting in Kentucky. We also learn that a New York Judge would like to hear

him explain how he came to forget to procure divorces from his other wives before he married the third time. The committee was thus left without the oration they had advertised so much, and the celebration came very near ending up iu a riot in consequence. We are glad of it. We offered some time ago to deliver the oration ourselves free gratis. But no ; the committee must hire the Hon. Fayke at an expense of SSO. The committee will have to make up this amount themselves as well as about S2OO more that the Hon. Favke collected for them but forgot to turn over. The Ponca Consolidated Comstock Mineral and Mining Company is also left to tho extent of $3,000 by Hon. Fayke’s management. In fact, nearly every man in our city mourns the Hon. Fayke’s departure from $lO to SIOO worth, and we understand that a certain lady’s property came very near going along with the rest.”

AFTER THE CELEBRATION.

He, too, is wcarv of the din and play That come with'glorious Independence Day. But w hich, thank God! come only once a year! And Fido, too, has suffered in this cause' Which once a year right noisily obtains, For Fido’s tail—or what thereof remains— Is not so fair a sight as once it was.

A FOURTH OF JULY PICNIC.

BY MRS. M. L. RAYNE.

pitch-board, and is goiug to find a place where our folks can have it all to themselves.” By this time the girls had come down, dressed inwhitecross-barredmuslins, because, as one of them economically remarked, “White will wash and colors run.” George Washington’s voice could still be heard

FRIENDS AND FELLOWCITIZENS!

ets of the duster. “Pile in,” said Mr. Weatherly, cheerfully, as he held the horse, that wouldn’t have run away at a dynamite explosion, not being that kind of an animal; “it’s going to be real Fourth of July weather. I reckon Jim’s tired wailin’, and the rest of the folks’ll think we ain't a cornin'.” They piled in, George and the girls on the back seat, while Mrs. Weatherly sat with “fath-

er” and helped drive. George gave them a specimen of what he could do in the wav of orating, and they had scon covered the fivei miles at the eud of which they were to find the picnic grounds. Jim, the hired man, who

was a genius in his way, was to provide a code

HE sun climbs up, but still the tyrant Sleep Holds fast our baby boy in his embrace ; The slumb’rer sighs, anon athwart his face Fount, half-suggested • frowns like shadows creep. One little hand lies listless on his breast, One little thumb sticks up witn mute appeal, While motley burns and powder marks reveal The fruits of boyhood s patriotic zest. Our baby’s faithful poodle crouches near—

"IBLS,” called Mrs. Weatherby. “your father is at the door with the carry-all. Hurry up, now. Where’s George Washington ?” “He’s learning his piece, ' ma ; he’s just betn saying it over, and it’s splendid. He’s most ready.” “ Well, we can’t wait, ’cause Jim has gone on with the provisions for the whole lot; he’s taken the croquet set and the bean

up-sl airs reciting the patriotic speech which was to delight the souls of the Pi;mi kin villa folks at the picnic. His mother waited as locg as she could, then she called him in a voice that admitted of no further delay, and he came down stairs ha!ited in plaid trousers and a long linen dbsttr, through which a pair of blue suspenders—embroidered for him by Swclie Sunglittle were plainly discernible. He carried tile manuscript of his .Fourth of July oration in one of the deep pock-

THIS GALORIOUS DAY.

of signals by which they would know where the general camping grounds wera situated. ’’This Is the right turn. I’ll Jbet a said Mr. Weatherby, reining in his .-ry-all

“I’m a goin’ in, all the same." said Mr. Weatherby. “There's a lotuer. What’s that, girls? I can’t see quite char." “Oh, mercy,” cried the girls in concert, “there’s a dog barking. Just listen !" Sure enough, a deep, hoarse barking could be

heard far in on the roa 1 tin y ta 1 furred on. “It’s Squire Ford's v hi‘e bull' dog, 111 bet,” raid George. “I wish I hal my rifle; I’d pepper him.” ■Here's the Snuglittle team,” said Pet Weatherby; “and there's fa tie and the rest. Oh. girls, we re lost. We daren tgo up this road. Isn’t i; a shame?”

“Who’s lafraid?” asked George, wiih the air

that becomes a Fourth of July orator. “Come on; I’ll lead the way. This is a free country. Gimme liberty or gimme death.” “Bow-wow-ow-w," came in deep chest tones from the green Jglade |up the leafy.'retreat, and Mrs. Weatherby at once seized the reins and began to turn old Sorrel around. “I ain’t agoin to furnish meat for 'Squire Ford's dog,” she said, and the others seemed quite as willing to go. Another party was waiting for them on the main road, and there they took counsel and decided that Jim must be some miles further on, where another campus was known to be among the trees. So they rode

three miles further looking for Jim. But no Jim was to be seen. They found the large grass plat, and picketed their horses about the inclosure, hoping that since they could not come to Jim that Jim would come to them. It was rather a serious matter, for the six families who had now joined them bad sent their provisions over to the Weatherby’s for safe transportation

by Jim, who had the commissary stores for the day. No one doubted the integrity' of Jim, but all wondered without avail what had become of him—and the lemonade and the pies and cakes and substantiala. “Mr. George Weatherby, speech, speech,” called Deacon Snugliotle. “You have taken me by surprise, Deacon,” said George in an off-hand manner, feeling for his speech in his coat tail pocket. Then he took out his patriotic address and ran his eyes over it. while the girls giggled and Sadie Suuglittle whispered. “Isn’t he grand?” George was soon embarked on the full tide of eloquence and was frequently interrupted by chetrs. When he loudly demanded, “Who gave U 3 the Fourth of July?” there was a perfect thunder of applause. “Answer thee queshion,” said Deacon Snuglittle, lisiug to his feet and pointing a long lean forefinger at five or six small hoys vho were grouped on the grass open-mouthed a id openeyed. There was a long silence, then a small voice piped: “God." “Henry Clay%” called another. “Daniel Webster..’’ “Gen. Grant.” — — “I-inkum.” “George Washington.” Three cheers and a stave of the “Star-spangle d Banner.’’ •

The orator ‘was very warm and much flushed. He took up his interrupted theme, and when he reached the pororatiou, “the bird of freedom scars above in the empyrean of the new world aed proudly ’’ he fell over backward out of the wagon seat, and turned a somersault not do wn on the programme. The treacherous wagon-sent

had slipped and unbased him. But the cheers he received were a salve to his wounded pride and barked shins, and the speech was voted a great success. Then a small fcov was dragged forward and desired to rrcite something patriotic aud couldn t think of anything for some time. Then, while all eyes were upon him, he scraped a foot, made a lurch forward, and, conscious of the maternal presence, began :

“ Whatisthisgloriousflaglseo Itisthefiagofliberty Its hues allw armandbiightly blue It i sthebaunerof t bet ru e Audonthisdaywecelebrate—w ecelebrate w ecelcbia:e ” Fortunately for that boy there vas an interruption which almost amounted to a panic. Jim came galloping into the campus on the farm

THE DAY WE CELEBRATE.

-horse, gasping, “Wha—wha—wha!’.’

“Are the Indians coming?” shrieked Mrs. Weatherby. “ B-b-be calm 1” suggested the Deacon ; “sp-eak —out—man!” “Wha-what did you come here fur?” gasped Jim, when he got liis breath; “didn't ye see all them signs I made to show-ye where I wuz. Didn’t I bark like a dog for one straight hour ? I just think it’s all-fired mean to treat a fellow like thet an’ the tables all sot with the vittles toe."’ When it dawned upon them what Jim meant they set up a shout that could have been heard

-for a mile and began to get their things in order for an exodus from their present quarters. They followed Jim back and found the green glade laid out like a park, with a vast dining-hall in the center. The simple fellow had never once thought that his “signs” which he had gotten

up with so much care independence day. might cause a stampede. As it was they had a glorious Xftiirth.

steed, “but what’s them notices stuck up there? I am’t mver seen any of them in these pa'rts a ore." “17! bet ’squire Ford put them up to prevent folks from coming here,” said George; “if it ain’t mean of him."

BEWARE. THE DOG.

OH. SAY! DID YOU SEE!

.t «E PEURIBI'S UNUMr * jjJT Ring high, ring low, And big guns blow! v? Our patriot anthems—tune ’em ' With each or&ss band Throughout the land; And shout “E Pluribu* T7num ’■ Each year, you see, Our Jubilee — Not being merely regal—- • With bombs and drums In triumph comes, And londly screams the Earis. * The Httle boy - - Declares our joy In manner moat emphatic; And eloquence Grows too intense For throats enthusiasmatic.

THE PATRIOTIC SMALL BOY.

Kind, considerate Uncle John furnishes little Georgia with a supply of firecrackers, that he may fitly demonstrate his patriotism and celebrate the day.

Georgie ties a bunch on his sister’s pet Yorkshire, and finds it beats tin cans all to pieces.

He next notifies an equestrian that patriotism is abroad in the land.

Finding kind Uncle John asleep on the back perch, he thinks it would be great fun to give him a little Fourth of July surprise.

W T hich is duly acknowlsdged by kind Uncle John in a way calculated to discourage youthful patriotism. Even the heavenly bodies are not above suspicion. Saturn has a ring and can’t get rid of it.— Pittsburgh Chronicle graph.