Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 June 1889 — CARL DUNDER. [ARTICLE]

CARL DUNDER.

■ Some Good Jokes on Several People. “What’s the matter with you?” i asked Sergeant Bendall, as Carl Dun- j der entered the Woodbridge Street Station with a grin on his fgee. “Maype I vhas green like some grass, eh ?” ehuckled the old man in reply. “I have often said so.” “Und I doan’ come in der house vhen he rains, maype?” “Well, what is it?” “I beat a schwindler py his own game—ha! ha! ha!” “It isn’t possible ?” “Yes, she vhas; Sergeant. You vhss always down on me. You pelief I vhas an idiot. You speak dot I ought to has some guardians oafer me, und vou make me feel bad. Howefer, I show you dot I vhas no childrens. I goes down py der Third street depot yesterday to wait for dot Toledo train, nnd pooty soon a stranger comes oop to me und says: “ ‘Hello! Smith, how you vhas ?’ “ ‘I vhas all right.’ “ ‘How vhas farming this year?’ “ ‘Werry good.’ “ ‘Vhas your wheat and hogs and turnips all right T “ ‘She vhas.’ “ ‘How vhas all der folks in Podunk ?’ “ ‘All well.’ “ ‘Dot vhas good. Say, Smith, I like to use $lO right awliay. Here vhas a S2O check on der bank oop town. Gif me der $lO and take der check und I meet you at der bank in an hour. ’ ” “And vou gave him the money ?” “Yes.”' “And took the check?” “Of oourse.” “And I’ll bet ten to one the check is worthless.” “Yhell, dot’s vliat der cashier said.” “Well, you are pn idiot!” “Say, Sergeant, doan’ you see some shokes in dot?” “No, I don’t.” “Yhell, you must be idiots, too. Dot man dakes me for a farmer named Smith, und I vhas Carl Dunder all der while—ha! ha! ha! Now you see der point.” “Yes, but you are $lO out.” “So I vhas—so I vhas. I doan’see dot pefore.” “Any one else take you for Smith?” “Yhell, not exactly, but I vhas oop too some snuff mit a plackleg who vhants to beat me.” “I’ll bet he got the best of you.” * “I bet you $10,000,000 he doan’! He comes in my place to get a $5 bill shanged. I vhas on to him shust so queek ash dot. I know he likes to slim-slam me, and I keeps my eye-open. “ ‘Can you shange me $5, Mr. Dunder?’ “ ‘Mit pleasure.’ “I count him out $2 in bills und $3 in silver, und $1 vhas counterfeit—ha! ha! ha!” “Well?” “Vhell, he likes two liafs for one, und I gif him one half mit a hole in him—ha! ha! ha!” “ ‘I vhas pooty much obliged, Mr. Dunder. He vhas a hot day ?’ ” “ ‘So he vhas. So long.’ “Und he goes avhay shust like a lamb. Doan’ I beat him ?” “Got the bill with you?” “Yes, I bring him along to ask you smietiugs. W iio puts dot man’s name on him?” “Where—there ? That’s no name.” “I read him dot he vhas C. O. Untexfeit. I guess he vhas Sherman.” “That reads, ‘counterfeit.’” “She does?” “Of course it does, and you are beaten, just as I expected. Mr. Dunder, it ” “Sergeant, it vhas all right—all right. Doan’ speak py me one word. To-morrow I goes py der lunatic asylum and knocks on der door.’ “ ‘Who vhas dot ?’ “ ‘Carl Dunder.’ “ ‘Yhas you want ?’ “ ‘I likes to come in and shtop two hoonered years.’ “ ‘All right—you vhas in.’ “Good-pye, Sergeant. Shust keep quiet und doan’ shpeak. I vhas going —I vhas gone !”■—Detroit Free Press.