Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 21, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 June 1889 — HAD A RAT TRAP. [ARTICLE]

HAD A RAT TRAP.

Bat He Made a Mistake in Waktaig Up a Passenger. It was oz one of the Sound steamers coming down the other day. A man of middle age and much dignity had fallen asleep in his rocking chair on the promenade deck, when he was approached by a sharp-nosed, hawk-eyed man of forty, who had a parcel in his hand. “Hey—you!” he exclaimed as he slapped the sleeping man on the shoulder. “Sir! How dare you!” sternly demanded the latter, as he roused up. “I haven’t done anything that I can be sent to prison for, have I?” “What is your business with me, sir?” “That’s better. That’s «oming to the point. Let me draw up a chair and take it easy while we chat. You told me at Stonington that you thought you would order twelve dozen as a starter. Suppose you double the order and take ten per cent, discount ?” “Sir! What are you talking about, and who do you take me for ?” demanded the man. “Your name is—is Faxon—firm of Faxon & Brown, dealers in hardware, isn’t it ?” “No, sir!” “What! Why, Fd bet a farm agin a wheelbarrow it was! Didn’t we have a conversation at Stonington ?” “No, sir!” “Didn’t I sho'w you my centennial rat trap and exhibit its wonders ?” “No, sir.” “Didn’t demonstrate the fact that it would catch and hold anything from a mouse to a raccoon, and that the public was bound to buy millions of ’em ?” “Sir! Do you intend to insult me?” shouted the other. “Not for Joseph. I never insulted nobody. It’s curious I have made a mistake. Didn’t you spend half an hour yesterday investigating my antifriction, double leverage, anti-cogless centennial rat trap, warranted to clean out a whole county of rats, mice, chipmunks, gophers and rabbits inside of ten days, or no pay ?” “No, sir! No, sir!” “Well, that’s queer! I’d take my affidavy it was you. And you didn’t order twelve dozen, to be shipped the first of the week ?” “Never! You ought to have more sense and manners, sir! Go away about your business!” “My business is to- sell the centennial rat trap—only thing ever invented to entice rats without bait; no delicate machinery to get out of order; no cost for steam power to run it. If I have made a mistake, I beg your pardon.” “Then go away, sir—go away before I forget my position and do "you injury!” “You wouldn’t injure a feller for ■wanting to sell you a rat trap which lays over all other inventions in America, would you ? If you ain’t the man who ordered the twelve dozen, you may wan’t to give me an order just the same. I will show you how it works.” “No, you won’t! Go away, sir—go, or I’ll do you harm! You are the most impudent rascal I’ve met in a year!” “And you won’t look at my trap ?” “No, sir!” “And you want me to leave you in solitqde?” “At once, sir!” “Well, I’ll do it. Some folks force their inventions upon the public. That ain’t my style. My centennial rat trap speaks for itself. I go, sir; but I leave my card. Peruse it at your leisure. All mail will reach me promptly at that address. Send you a dozen on trial, or give a discount of five per cent, on all over three dozen. Send in your orders as early as possible, as the season is forward. Au revoir, sir.”— New York Sun.