Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 March 1889 — Will Give Him a Lift. [ARTICLE]

Will Give Him a Lift.

A tramp stopped the Key. David Swing, who, with a meditative air, was ■walking along Michigan avenue, and said: “My dear sir, you look like a benevolent man.” “I hope so,” Mr. Swing replied. “All, I feel that you ai*e.” He tried to make one leg shorter than the other, and then, after giving to his face that humiliated look of suffering which is the tramp's greatest accomplishment, added: “Would you mind helping me a little?—just a little. I am almost famished. I haven’t had a bite to eat for four days.” “Well, come over to this restaurant,” Mr. Swing replied. “ and I will get you something to eat.” “My heart flutters w ith thanks, noble sir, but the truth is, I am a victim of dyspepsia, and beset by the peculiar fancies of the dyspeptic, I can eat only at a certain place. The only place in this town where I can eat is a mbdest little restaurant away out on North Clark street, near Lincoln Park. Give me twenty-five cents, please, and let me hasten out there ere it be too late.” “ I am going out that way,” said Mr. Swing, “and shall take pleasure in seeing that you get enough to eat. The agony on the tramp’s face deepened. “It is a long way from here, sir,” he mournfully answered. “I knotV that, but I have business out there.”

“How fortunate; how exceedingly fortunate. Let me see, now. lam a comparative stranger in this howling turmoil of a city—wait a moment. I have made a mistake. The restaurant is on West Madison street, away out near Garfield Park. ” “That is still more fortunate,” Mr. Swing replied, “for your mention of it reminds me of the fact that I am almost at this moment due in that ne'ghborhood. Come, let us hasten.” “let —er —that is—sav, I don't really feel able to go away over there, that is, not in company with anv one, for if I :>m in company with a man whom I admire I am compelled to talk, and my physician has warned me that talking is positively dangerous to my nervous system.” “Well, you get on one car and I will get on the one immediately following. Thus, you see, we shall be separated.” “Yes, and a capital idea, too, but in my heart —wav dow n in my heart of hearts, I could not place such restrictions on you.” “No restriction, I assure you.” “Ob, in your generosity you deny it, of course, but—oh, by the way, now that I have thought so much upon the subject, I remember a restaurant down at Dr( x d boulevard. ” “My friend, I have not, for many years, come upon so many odd coincidences. Believe me, lam now on my way to Drexel boulevard. Come let us take a car.” The tramp sighed, and then the humiliated look of suffering faded from his lace. “I cave,” said he, “I simply throw up my hat and cave. Let me know when yon are to deliver your next temperance sermon, and I will. (ome around to Central Music Hall and give you a lift. So long.”—Arkansaw Traveler.