Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 March 1889 — Quaint Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

Quaint Philosophy.

I've notised thet all fools is egotists, but all egotists is not fools. I reckon it ’ud make a lieep o’ hardi feelin’s es wo cood “see ojrselves as others see us;” but es others cood see us as we see ourselves, it’ud be the biggest surprise party that ever was knowed. The feller tbet’s ashamed of his relidjun, don't need to be. fur he haint generally got enuff of it for to be ashamed of. I’ve notised thet them that asks the most questchuns hain’t alius the best informed. I reckon it ’ud be a heep easyer fur to “find a needle in a haystack” than it ’ud be to find two human bein’s eggsict mates. I’ve notised that them that thinks that there haint no hell is ginerully the ones thet has the most reesen to be at'eard thet there is. I reckon there's more surprizes at heaven’s gate than ennywhere else in the hull unyverse. I’ve notised that when a feller finds out thet his opinvun conflicts with his interests he changes either one or tother mitey quick. I reckon es we’d never find fault with a man’s work when he’s done it better than we cood do it our own selves, there ’ud be a heep less fault findin’ in this world. I’ve notised that there’s mighty fe w men thet’s sharp enuif to diskiver a hole in a feller's shoe, es the shoe's well blacked an’ polished. I reckon ef*everybody ’ud get what, they think they deserve in this world, yo’ cood find standin’ room on the top o’ the Washin’ton Monument fur all the poor fokes yo’ cood scrape up; and es nobody ’ud git no more'n they ackshully deserve, the rich fokes woodn’t be no ways crowded in the same place. —Oil City Derrick.