Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 3, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 February 1889 — Page 2

WHITE HOUSE CHATTER.

WASHINGTON’S GAY SOCIETY CIRCLES AND LEGISLATIVE HALLS. Entertaining: Royally—Mrs. Harrison Not to He a "Reformer”—Mills’ Committee Scores a Victory—Controversy with Germany Recoiling Serious. [SFOCLAL CORRESPONDENCE.] Washington, Li. C., Jan. 29. The social tide has reached its full, and surges and swells with high teas, dinners, receptions, and cotillions. To miss a single entertainment now before Lent is suicidal to the career of a society belle, and already fagged steps and hollow eyes tell how severed}' their strength and time are being taxed. As illustrative of this, a Chicago girl, wiio sprained her foot on an icy pavement recently, wrenched it back again, exclaiming, “I can’t take time for a sprain now.” Tho official entertainment of the week was the state dinner given by tho President and Mrs. Cleveland to the diplomatic corps, it being resplendent with all tho glamour of lights, flowers, and brilliant costumes incidental to such an occasion. Mrs. Don Dickinson rather divides tho honors with Mrs. Whitnoy as entertainers of the Cabinets and their parlors are always tilled whenever the occasion presents. A number of New York ladies in conversation with the latter recently spoke of the pleasure that New-Yorkers felt in the prospect of having Mrs. Whitney once more with them, "Ah, my dear,” said she, “I am going to ■lead a quiet life after I leave Washington, Easy chairs, hammocks, and horseback riding aro to be features of my next year’s life. Ah, I dream of it.” Yet those who

MRS. GEN. HARRISON.

saw iter enthusiastically leading the german for three long hours recently would hardly imagine her capable of enjoying quiet times. Secretary and Misses Bayard gave the first of their card parties this week, but there were so many other entertainments which demanded the presence of their guests that tho parlors were filled scarcely ten minutes at n time during the evening. A laughable incident occurred through the absent-mindedness of the Persian minister. Ho attended wearing ltis left glove on his right hand and vice versa. Among tho Senatorial entertainments, which were unusually numerous aud gorgeous this week. Senator and Mrs. Hearst's ball, in honor of Miss Head, of California, was a notable affair, the young lady appearing in the costume in which she was recently presented at court in London. It was of white mousseline de soie, the overdraperies embroidered in pearls in a Louis XVI. border threo or four inches deep. Down the left side, caught with bows of white satin ribbon, were rich clustets of white Scotch heather and harebells intermingled with green leaves. Tlte low neck bodice was filled in with a tucked or mousseline de soie at the V-shaped opening, on either side of which the material was laid on in full, soft folds which crossed over tho bosom. The bodice was finished in front with a pointed inelosure of silk embroidered with pearls. Inclement weather had no effect on the crowds that gathered at Mrs. Cleveland’s second public reception, unless, perchance, it was to make them doubly anxious to catch a smile from the fair lady or tho White House, who, though genial and pieasant, showed signs of fatigue before the day was over.

As oft as oacli recurring inaugural claims the attention of the people so often are the inconveniences and inelegance of the White House as a residence canvassed and recanvassed. Washingtonians in general and reporters in particular are again airing tho throadbaro topic. Mrs. Cleveland jokingly remarked recently that she believed she would send a message to Congress before March 4, written and signed with her own hand, asking for an appropriation for a new Executive Mansion, as she was sure Mrs. Harrison would appreciate ; some one taking the initiative in that direction. Everybody is just now interested in Mrs. Harrison’s New York shopping expedition, and the contemplated change of leader only adds a feverish tervency to the whirl of entertainments. A Now York reporter gives assurance that the bustle will still hold its own under the new reign, and dresses are cut sufficiently decollete now to make ample amends for any revolutionary efforts attempted in this line. Mrs. Harrison will not, however, pose as a reformer, as she takes the ground that the lady of the White House is not ex ofllcio a leader of fashion. She argues that her personal views regarding the use of wine, the wearing of the bustle, the morality of the dance and such like topics should have no weight with the public simply because her husband happened to be elected President. Once again we have enjoyed the rare treat of a night’s session of tlio Senate, the tflrst which has been held in nearly two years. There is no such magnificent, sight in Washington as the great Capitol dome flashing put its myriad electric sparks upon the sable curtains of night, and thousands of gas-jets twinkling upon the snow and ice of the Capitol Park. The gay assemblages that congregated in the galleries to listen to the tariff debate were amply rewarded by the flow of wit, wisdom and repartee that fell sedately from the lips of America’s Solons under the stimulus of the lights and brilliant throngs, notwithstanding the dryness of the topic under discussion. The Senate tariff bill is now in the hands of the House Committee on Ways and Means, and Mr. Mills will take another whack at it, much to the disgust of the Senate, which insisted upon a conference in relation thereto and hoped to seeure it immediately upon returning the measure to the lower house. Meanwhile the Southern Democrats are having a sorry time over their tobacco-tax measure. The Republican leaders deem it unwise to take any action in the matter during this Congress. As aresult; Cowles’ Republican assistants have suddenly discovered that it is a breach of legislative etiquette for such a bill to be considered by the Appropriation Committee, and committee comity has assumed gigantic importance <n their estimation all ateinee, wiiich leaves the internal-revenue bill In the same •condition it was before being referred to Mr. Randall’s committee.

I Interest is fast growing in the Samoan alTair, and although the island is, comparatively speaking, little more than a heap of earth in mid-ocean, four thousand miles from our coast, it has created a “bit of a fuss” between two great nations that promises to become highly entertaining. Uncle Sam doesn’t propose to be imposed upon,and Bismarck is stubborn, and not accustomed to making gracelul apologies. That is ,-bout the way the matter now stands, pending the earlv action of Congress. The army would no doubt be gratified for any break in the dull monotony of a quarter of a century of peace and welcome a bit of lighting as a sort of legitimate boom. By-the-by. Secretary Endicott’s contemplated order to restrict leave of absence to thirty days a year is creating no little comment in blue coat circles. Thirty days a year is the time allowed by law. If tue thirty days are not used up each year the war secretary contends that they should be forfeited and no one be allowed to absent himself from duty for a longer period of time. J Congressman Frank Lawler has secured an appropriation of $50,000 for repairing the Chicngo postoffice, although Randall was pitted against him. From Mr. Lawler’s concurrent resolution directing that the Public Printer hereafter drop the letters “uc” at the end of such words as “epilogue,” and tho letters “me” at the end of such words as “programme,” the letter “e” at the end of such words as “hypocrite,” the letters “to” at tho end of such words as “coquette,” and substitute “f” for “ph” in such words as “phantom,” it is readily inferred that he is more proficient in oratory than etymology. Mr. Springer’s omnibus bill has sadly failed to meet the Senate’s idea of perspicuity in language, a committee of that august body having instructed its chairman to write a new territorial bill that would be “eloar and precise.” The objection chiefly urged to the Illinois Congressman’s bill is centered in New Mexico, it, being claimed that her admission is sought in the interest of railroads. Not oponly, of course, but it is averred that two railroad men would be sont to the Senate from New Mexico in ease she were entered among the sisters of the Union. Final vote on the Oklahoma bill was deferred by the adjournment of Congress in respect to Congressman Joseph Nelson Burnes of Missouri, who was stricken to death so suddenly'; and Mr. Weaver’s good looks and filibustering have availed him nothing so far. A pet schetae of tho ladies, under the auspices of tho Woman’s National Bureau, to have a portrait of Mrs. Cleveland hung in the White House, a project that would receive universal commendation, has been crushed by the following: Executive Mansion, Washington, I j Jan. 19. 1889. f i Mrs. M. P. Lincoln: Peak Madam— Responding for Mrs. Cleveland and myself to your note in relation to procuring her portrait for the White House, and fully appreciating the kindness intended, I j.ave to say that both of us are so opposed to tho project that you could not show us greater consideration in this matter than by an entire abandonment of the scheme. Yours, very truly, Grover Cleveland. The menu is out for the inaugural supper; not so the cabinet selection. Senator Allison begins to waver in his resolution not to accept the Treasury portfolio; while Wananmker’s visit to the President-elect upon the special invitation of tho latter seems susceptible of but one conclusion. It is said by Harrison’s Indianapolis friends, however, that this may not be indicative that the Philadelphia merchant has been tendered a place in the cabinet. Perhaps Harrison called Mr. Wanamaker off Irom his contemplated Paris trip to apologize tor having purchased his wardrobe in Chicago. Morton has rented a house and returned to New York, Blaine is holding a continuous levee at the Normandie, Quay is in Florida threatening revenge on any intruding politician, and Harrison is at Indianapolis wrestling with tho office-seekers, of whom ho says he never saw so many. What will he think when he reaches the White House? Morse.

BUSINESS OF THE ATCHISON.

Report for tlie Year 1888—An Estimated Ileiicit of *1,409,001. Joseph W. Reinhart, Comptroller and General Auditor of the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe Road, has submitted advance sheets of the full report for eleven months ending Nov. 30, 1888, which show the following lesults: Mileage, A.ehisou system proper, 3,019.78 miles; gross earnings, $14,297,468; expenses. 07.7 per cent.. $9,673,725; net earnings. $4,623,693; receipts from interest on bonds of rail o ids owned by Atchison and used as collateral, $508,892; total net earnings, $5,132,585; direct llxed charges, interest on bonds and notes, taxes and sinking fund requirements, $4,513,246; net profit, $619,339; receipts from other sources, $446,660; total profit, $1,065,999; dividends, $2,625,000; deficiency, $1,559,001; gross dobt originating in the period, $8,643,304: offsets, $3,457,412; net floating debt, $5,185,890; supplies on hand as an offset to future operating expenses, $1,523,118.97. Of the debt above shown $5,183,891 was due and payable prior to July 1, 1889, Of guaranty notes subscribed for, in amount $7,000,000, there had been called to Nov. 30, 1888, $700,000, leaving $6,300,000 not called nor paid in. The total income sur-> plus Dec. 31. 1888, was $7,940,622. The deficiency for the eleven months ending Nov. 30, 1888, made the net general income surplus to that date $6,381,622, but the addition, of various sundry surplus accounts swelled this amount so that the total general surplus Nov. 30 was $9,509,633. oho estimated net profit from operations, after all charges for the month of December, is $150,000. The total net deficiency of the company for the period of twelve months to Dec. 31, including actual ilgures of Nov. 30 and December estimated, is $1,409,001. From actual statements to Nov. 30 and approximates for December the auxiliary roads of the Atchison system, inclusive of those owned jointly, will show that they have failed to earn lixed charges of all descriptions by about $3,000,000. Of this they have contributed about $1,800,000, the remainder having been advanced by the Atchison company. The Boston Advertiser says regarding the report, that it is unsatisfactory because out of a mileage of about 7.104 miles the report only covers about 3,020 miles; also that the statement varies from that published Jan. 2. 1889, in that gross earnings for the eleven months are $37,362 larger, expenses $55,710 larger, and net earnings $18,357 smaller.

Strange what queer languages are spoken in this country. A Western paper in a local item recently told of “a regular old razooper, who, having got a skate on, indulged in a glorious razzle-dazzle.” John W. Alexander, the young portrait painter, does all his work with his left hand, He is thought to bear a striking resemblance to Vandyck, with his pointed beard and up-curling mustache. “It is the greed for gain which is responsible for four-filths Of the crime committed,” said a Chicago clergyman, and then he accepted a call for SSOO more per year.

WORKINGWOMEN'S PAY OMEN’S PAY.

CONDITION OF FEMALE TOILERS THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY. Honesty and Virtue to Bo Found Where Wage* Are Very Meager —Arrangement* Being Made for the Inaugural Ceremonies [Washington (D. C.) special.]

INDUSTRIES in twenty - two cities have been investigated by Carroll D. Wright. Commissioner of the Department of Labor, and his report, relating entirely to workingwomen in great cities, has been 6ubL; - mitted to the State Department. Tho report shows that the '<*•*> workingwomen in tho

great cities aro practically girls. Tho average age in all cities comprehended is 22 years and 7 months, The highest average age is found in Charleston, 8. C. —25 years and 1 month; the lowest in St. Paul—2l years and 5 months. It is found, however r that the concentration is greatest at the age of 18, there being of the whole number interviewed 1,569 of that a.e. Of the whole number 14,120 are native born, In the foreign corn Ireland is most largely represented, and Germany is next, having 775. Of the native born 12,904 had foreign born fathers and 12,406 foreign born mothers. A great majority of the women comprehended in the report are single, the number being 15,387. Only 745 are married and 1,038 widowed. “The working-women.” says the report, “are as a rule single women. fighting their industrial light alone. They aro not only supporting themselves but are giving their earnings largely to the support of others at home. Of the whole number under consideration 9,813 not only work at their regular occupations but assist

AFTER A WEEK OF TOIL.

in the housework at home, the total number living at homo being 14,918—that is to say, a very large proportion of the workingwomen in the groat cities tire under home influences. More than half of the whole 8,754 givo their earnings to homo life, 4.267 pay board at their own homes, and only 701 receive board at the hands of thoir families. The average number of persons in tho families of the workingwomen is 5.25. each of which has on an average 2.48 workers." The report shows that of the 17,426 who reported their health conditions at tho time they commenced work, 16,360 were in good health, 883 were in fair health, and 183 in bad health. Tho changes in health condition is illustrated by the fact that 14,554 are now in good health, 2,345 are in fair health, and 489 are in bad health. The tables upon earnings and lost time show that of the 13,822 who reported 373 earn less than SIOO per annum, and that this class lost an average of 86.5 days for the years covered. The largest number earn S2OO and under $250 per annum, losing 37.8 dtjys; 2,377 earn Irom $250 to S3OO, losing 31.5 days. As earnings increase ihe lost time decreases, as, for instance, 398 earn from $450 to SSOO a year, and this class lost but 18.8 days. These earnings are actual earnings, and are not statements derived from computations based on the rates of wages. The average weekly earnings by cities is given as follows: Atlanta. $4.05; Baltimore, $4.18; Boston, $5.64; Brooklyn, $5.76; Buffalo, $4.27; Charleston,s4.22; Chicago, $5.74; Cincinnati,s4.so; Cleveland, $4.63; Indianapolis. $4.67; Louisville, $4.51; Newark, $5.10; New Orleans, $4.31; New York, $5.85: Philadelphia. $5.34; Providence, $5.51; Richmond, $3.93; St. Louis, $5.19; St. Paul, $6.02; Han Francisco, $6.91; San Jose. $6.11; Savannah, $4.99. All other cities, $5.24. Upon the subject of “character of thi working-women” the Commissioner saysi “From all that can be learned one need ucR hesitate in asserting that the workingwomen of this country are as honest and an virtuous as tiny other class of our citizens, The social standing of working-women is becoming better and better. The honest working-woman engaged in honest labor is entitled to'the respect of all honest-minded people. She should be welcomed in tho churches of the cities, and should be drawn into the best associations, where social and moral surroundings would aid her in cultivating her own self-respect. At least it should not be possible to class her as the forgotten woman, for her struggle is too heroic, her hardships too painful, her lot too dreary for Christian people to thoughtlessly pass her by.”

THE INAUGURAL, Gen. Beaver Will Divide tlie Procession Into Five Divisions. [Washington (D, C.) telegram.]

about 8,003 strong, will comprise the second division and be under the command of Major General Hartranft. The third division will comprise all the remaining military organizations, about 8.000 men. In the fourth division will be the veterans of the Grand Army of the liepublic and camps of the Sons of Veterans under command of Gen. William Warner, of Missouri, Com-mander-in-chief of the Grand Army of the Republic. The fifth will comprise all civil organizations, including the political clubs, social societies and citizens’ delegations, to bo under the command of Colonel M. M. Parker. Company F, Fifth Regiment, National Guard of Illinois, Capt. F. H. Wiedey commanding, has informed the committee of its intention to take part in the inaugural parade, i

HE arrangements for the Presidential in- , augural are rapidly being perfected. Gen. Reaver, the Grand Marshal of the parade, has decided to divide the inaugural proces'sion into live divisions. The first division will consist of the United States Army Corps and National Guard of the District of Columbia, comprising about 503 men. Tho Pennsylvania National Guard,

GERMANS DECLARE WAR

THEY WILL NOW PROCEED TO MAKE THINGS HUM IN SAMOA. President Cleveland’s Message to ConIP e » i Strong Talk in the Senate, in Which It Is Argued that Uncle Sam Should Act Promptly—Biunsrck’s Views. [Washington (D. C.) special.] An Auckland telegram states that Samo i advices say that the Germans have declared war against King Mataafa and that probably all the Samoans will join against the Germans. President Cleveland sent to Congress add t onal correspondence relative to Samoan affairs, accompanied by the following message: To the Congress: I had the honor on the 15th inst. to commnnicato to your honorable body certain correspondence and documents in relation to affairs in the Samoan Islands, and having since received further dispatches from the Vice Consul at Apia and the commander of the United fctates naval vessel Nipsic in those waters, 1 lose no time in laying them before you. 1 also transmit herewith the full text of instructions irom Prince von Bismarck to the German Minister at this capital, which was communicated on the afternoon of the 28th lust. This appears to be an amplification of prior telegraphic instruction on the same subject, communicated through the same channel, and which, being set forth in the note of the Secretary of State to Count von Arco Valley, the German Minister, of the 12th inst., was duly laid before Congress with my last message in relation to Sarnoun affairs. It is also proper to inform you that on Monday, the '.-Bth inst., the occasion of the communication of the n ;te of the Prince Chance llor. the Secretary of Slate was given to understand by tho Go.’man Minister that a proposition from his Government to that of the United States for accnftrence on the Samoan subject was on its way by mail, having left Berlin on the 2Jth inst., so hat its arrival here in due course of mail can be looked for in a very short time. In reply to tho inquiry from the secretury of State whether the I r,.position referred to was for a renewal of the ,i< int conference between the United States, Germany, and Great Britain, which tvt:3 suspended in July, 1887, or for the consideration of Samoan affairs ab novo, the German Minister stuted his inability to answer until tho proposition which left Berlin on the 2. th inst. should have been received. I shall hereaitor < ommunicato to the Congress all information before me in relation to the i amoan status. Grover Cleveland. The correspondence accompanying the message gives an amplified account of recent events in Samoa. It opens with Vice Codbul Blacklock’s accouut of the maltreatment of natives and the beating of the marshal of the Consul’s office by 150 drunken sailots from a German man-of-war on Dec. 15 and 16. On Dec. 20 and 22 the Consul arranged a meeting of the threo Consuls at the German consulate, but nothing could be done, as the German Consul said he had lost soman} men he must now take the matter in his own hands and revenge their losses. On Jan. 1, the Vice-Consul says, Capt. Mullan, having written to the captain of the German vessel 'which seized the American boat the other day, received a reply to the effect that there was no flag flying on the boat; th s is not true, as the boat was seen from this office, also by others in other parts of town, plainly flying the American flag. This is the usual way the Germans adopt for straightening out the outrages they commit. The last letter is ouo from Prince Bismarck to Count you Arco Valley, detailing the “unprovoked attack” of natives under the leadership of the American, Klein, upon a German naval force “which had landed ft the requisition of the imperial consul for the ptotectiou of German settlements which were endangered by the conflicts between the native parties. ” The letter continues; In consequence of this we have been transplanted from tho territory of mediatorial negotiations by which the imperial consul in Apia was trying to reconcile the contending parties, and for which he sought the co-operation of his English and American colleagues, into a state of war with the assailants, to our regjet. We shall ca.ry on the col test t'nut lias been forced upon ns by Mataafa aud bis f- flowers with the utmost consideiaticn tor English aud American interests. Our military measures have in view only the punishment of t e murders of German soldiers and the protection of our countrymen and their property. As they on their part are at war with Tamasese our interference will necessarily assume the character of assistanci to Tamasese. In the endeavor for the just punishment of a murderous crime we hope tor Che cooperation of the treaty powers in Samoa in friendship with us, and we ask the Government of the United States to be good enough to furnish the consuls and the commanders of its ships of war in b'atnoa with suitable instruct Otis. Our armed forces there are instructed to avoid and to prevent all injury to neutral commerce and property, and to adopt measures of reprisal and destruction only ugainst the followers of tne party which initiated the contest against our troops by a murderous attack. We shall, of course, abide by the agre, ments with America and England with respect to Samoa, and pay due regard, under all circumstances', to the rightß of those powers as established by treaty. Ihe Samoan amendments to tho Consular bill were discussed in the Senate by Messrs. Dolph and Keagan. Mr. Dolph said the question was one of local interest to the people of the Pacific coast, and argued that the treaty of 1884 between Germany and Samoa gave tho German Government powers which weie incompatible with the autonomy of the native government and inconsistent with American tieaty rights in the islands. If Congress were to interfere in the matter at all, the Piesident should be directed to insist t pon a restoration by the German Government of tho status quo at the time of the Washington conference, and to notify the German Government that the Urdu d States would not permit the Samoau islands to pass under the control of any foreign nation, and that their independent autonomy must be maintained. He saw no good reason why, if necessary, and if requested by the Samoan people, an American protectorate should not be established over them.

Mr. llcagau declared that no American cit zen could read the correspondence without feeling humiliation to see the rights of the United States brutally overridden and trodden down by German subalterns while ihe German Prime Minister was professing friendship and a desire to maintain proper relations with tho Government of the United Statos. He thought the proposed amendments were too feeble to vindicate the rights of the American people in the matter, and added: It we believe that wo have rights which have been violated we should assert those rights as becomes a great and powerful nation. lam not in favor of war. But the humiliation of a great nation in the face of an arrogant power is worse than war. I would give the President power to determine what our rights in tho matter are and the i ower to assert those rights in a way that could not be mistaken. I would suggest tho addition to the pending amendment of tho words, “and Jor the protection of the rights of American citizens residing in said islands and to preserve ths neutrall y and independence of their people." Then we will have s-bd someth ng. But if we do not put in some deelara.ion we leave the President exactly where he is now —in a position where be regards himself as powerless to vindicate the rights of the United States.

SOME FUNNY FANCIES.

Rich relatives are like wine. They grow dearer with age. The “Maiden’s Prayer” usually has something to do with a him. “My dear wife,” murmured paterfamilias as he looked at the dressmaker’s bill. The borrowest man to this date is the one in Manhattanville who wanted to borrow a friend’s tombstone. Patient —Doctor, I can’t sleep nights. Wit at shall I do? Gat a position somewhere as night-watchman. When a bald-headed man removes his hat to salute a lady it does not remind one of a leafless branch, although it's a naked bow. There is said to be a veterinary surgeon in Albany who has grown so expert that he can tell tho age of a rak*. by looking at its teeth. “Consistency, thou art a jewel,” sure enough; but thou standeth an exco edj ingly poor show when tho other fellow can afford a diamond ring. Miss Parextalstem (age 35) —So you are going to get married at last, Pauline? Pauline —Yes, dear, I should think it was about time; you know I’m 24.

Young wife (at a ball) —You are improving wonderfully as a dancer. Don’t you remember how you used to tear mv dresses? Young husband Yoi; I wasn’t buying 'em then. Madam (to applicant)—Where was your last place j( Applicant—At the hospital, mem. Madam—Were you a nurse there? Applicant—No, mem; I was a small-pox patient. Smith —You say the speculation has proved a failure? Jones—A total failure. Smith —I thought you said there was a fortune in it. (with a groan)—So there is. Mine is in it. Mine eyes have seen the gobbler lose his cranium in the dark, a prehistoric turkey that came over in the ark, the hoarders break their molars as they eliew the patriarch, but their bills go marching on. Mrs. Hopeful —ls my boy improving any? Professor of penmansliip— He is getting worse. His writing is now so bad no living soul can read it. “How lovely! The darling! He’ll be a great author some day.” Mrs. Brown (who has hoarders) — And how is Mr. Smith getting along ? Mrs. Smith —I fear he is past recovery. For the last twi> weeks he has eaten scarcely enough to keep a robin alive. Mrs. Brown (unconsciously)—-Isn’t that lovely! Their brand of breath: Representative Martin, of Texas, recently walloped a reporter because the latter said that he blew out the gas in his room. He should have gloried in the assertion. It isn’t every politician who dares to monkey with the gas with his breath. Woman (looking at a house to rent) —I don’t fancy these windows on this side. The people in the next house can look in here.and see anything that’s going on. Landlord—ls you waut the house, madam, I'll have the windows boarded up. “How on earth could I see into their windows then?” BACK NUMBERS. Tlte bald-headed mart in his family pew Leaned back on the cushion and slumbered, And he dreamed that the preacher these words had proclaimed: “The hairs of your head are all numbered.” Tho bald-headed man awok9 with a start irom his weeklv. devotional slumbars; Then he sank on his knees aud fervently prayed: “OLori! send me down the back numbers.” — Judge. “I declare!” exclaimed Mrs. Fogg, as she vainly endeavored to dissect the turks y, “if yo a are not the poorest man to do marketing. This turkey’s as old as Methuselah. ” “Possibly,” replied Fogg, unabashed; “but, my dear, it is a female bird, and courtesy to the sex prevented me from inquiring about her age.” * Millionaire (to old and poor chum) —You ought to drop your bad habits, Smith. If you’d s:op taking that glass of beer every day you'd have $18.25 in a year. Go on that way for a hundred years and there’ll be $l.B-32 in bank if nothing happens. Then put that in some good stock, and if all goes right you’ll make money. That’s the way people get rich.

FASHIONED FOR THE WEALTHY.

Borrowit—lt seems to me, Moses, that this coat is entirely to short. Moses —Ah, my clear sir, dot vas made for my finest trade—the shentlemans who nefer wear any patches!— Texas Siftings. ~

On the Cross-Examination.

Lawyer (to witness) —You are very minute in your statements, and you are veiy par.ieular in c oar details. Now I want to know if you are really so console. itio s that jou are afraid to state som< ihing that is not soV 1 Indignant witness—No, sir, not in the lead;; quite the contrary.— Texas S stings.