Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 February 1889 — VANCE’S LITTLE POEM [ARTICLE]

VANCE’S LITTLE POEM

A Night Session of the Senate Enlivened by a Pungent Rhyming Effort on the Beauties of Protection. [Washington special] The talk on the wood schedule was resumed, and the Senators at once became very belligerent. Vest, of Missouri, was the Democratic champion, and was joined by Eli Saulsbu'ry and others, while John Sherman did most of the talking for the Republicans. Sen tor Vance set colleagues and spectators in a io ar by reading in splendid style the following pastoral, which ha said was entitled, “The girl with one stocking; a< protective pastoral composed and arr. nged for the spinning-wheel, and respectfully dedicated to that devoted friend of protected machinery and high taxes, the Senator from Rhode Island, Mr Aldrich:” Our Mary had a little lamb. And her heart w m most intent To make its wool beyond its worth Bring 56 per cent But a pauper girl across the sea Had one small lamb also. Whose wool lor less than half that sum She’d vlllmgiy let go. Another girl who had no ebeep, Nor stockings—wool nor flax— But money just euoush to buy A pair without the tax, , Went to the pauper girl to get Some wool to snield her feet, And make her stockings, not of flax, But both of wool complete. When Mary saw the girl’s design She straight began to swear She’d make her buy both wool and tax Or let one leg go bare. So she cried out: “Protect reform I Letp.uper sheep wool free! If it will keep both her legs warm What will encourage me ?" So it was done, and people said, Where’er that poor girl went, One leg was warmed with wool and ono With 56 per cent. Now, praise to Mary and her lamb, Who did this scheme invent, To clothe one-half a girl in wool And one-half in per cent.

All honor, too, to Mary’s friend, And all protective acts, That cheaply clothe the rich in wool And wrap the poor in tax. The reading of this piece of doggerel was received with shouts of laughter, even Republican Senators leaning back in their seats and giving unrestrained way to their mirth. As for the peoph iu the galleries, they screamed and yelled frantically, and when Senator Vance sat down kept up their uproarious applause until the North Carol na orator gravely inclined his head in acknowledgment. Mr. Vest offered the following unique petition from one of his constituents: Tc the Senate of the United States: 1. Henry S. Chase, a resident of St. Louis, Mo., in behalf of myself and other dentists of. the United States who may think as I do, respectfully ask you to arrant a bounty of $1 on each tooth tilled by dentists for the preservation of those teeth in order to encourage an honest industry, and thereby encourage competition among dentists, which will lower prices to patients, and, moreover, encourage immigration of dentists from all parts of the world to this country, thereby making a better market for all the agricultural and other products of home industry; the cash tor this purpose to be taken out of the general Treasury of the United States for the purpose aforesaid.