Democratic Sentinel, Volume 13, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 January 1889 — No Fun Being President. [ARTICLE]

No Fun Being President.

It is not an enjoyable treat sometimes to be the editor of a paper, and mould public opinion at so much per mould, and get complimentary tickets to the sleight-of-hand performances, but with its care and worry, its heartaches and apprehensions, it is more comforting on the whole than being President. When we were a boy, and sat in the front row among the pale-haired boys with checked gingham skirts at the Sun-day-school, and the teacher told us tc live uprightly and learn a hundred verses of the Scriptures each week so that wt could be President, we thought that unruffled, oalm, and universal approbation waited upon the man who successfully rose to be the executive of a great Nation. With years, and accumulated wisdom however, we have changed our mind. Now we sit at our desk and write burning words for the press that will live and keep warm long after ws are turned to dust and ashes. We write heavy editorials on the pork outlook. and sadly compose exhaustive treatises on the chinch-bug, while men in other walk. 4 ol life go out into the health-promoting mountains, and catch trout and woodticks. Our lot is not, perhaps, a joyous one. We swelter through the long July days with our suspenders hanging in limp festoons down over onr chair, whil/? we wield the death-dealing pen, but we. do not want to be President. Our salary is smaller, it is true, but when we get through our work in the middle of the night, and put on our plug hat and steal home through the allpervading darkness, we thank our stats, as we split the kindling and bed down the family mule, that on the morrow, although w'e may be licked by the man we wrote up to-day, our official record can not be attacked. There is a nameless joy that settles down upon us as we retire to our simple couch on the floor, and pull the cellar door over us to keep us warm, which the world can neither give nor take *way. We plod along, from day to day, slicing great wads of mental pabulum from our bulging intellect, never murmuring nor complaining when lawyers and physicians put on their broad brim chip hats and go out to the breezy canyons and the shady glens to regain their health. We just plug along from day to day, eating a hard boil id egg from one hand while we write a scathing criticism oa the sic transit gloria cucumber with the other. No, we do not crave the proud position of President, nor do we hanker to climb to an altitude where forty or fifty mil lions of civilized people can distinctly see whether we eat custard pie with a knife or not. Once in a while, however, in the still ncss of the night, we kick ths covers off, and moan in our dreams as we imagine that we are President, and we wake with the cold, damp sweat (or perspiration, as the case may be) standing out of every pore, only to find that we are not Presi dent after all, by an overwhelming ma jority, and w* get up and steal away ti the rainwatc barrel and take a drink, and go bach to a dieamless, suorelee 1 deep.— JLaranie Boomer tng. a member ol the Western New ivrk Farmers’ Club sprayed his orchard v. 'th a solution of parts green, to exterminate the canker-worm, and reports the apple aphis, which had formerly infest* ed his trees, had wholly disappeared.

Thebe is no excuse whatever for the slovenly appearance of many yards or lawns about the farmer’s home. It is not the sign of good farming, sincr carelessness in one place denotes very clearly carelessness in another.— Chico* go Journal. Turnips for Cows.—l have tried every way to destroy the flavor of turnips in milk, but without supcess. 1 have boiled it, fed the cows after milking, but it was all the .same —turnip flavor unmistakable—and as we do not like our butter so flavored, I only feed turnips when the cow is dry.— Mrs. G. Bourinol. Ottawa, Canada. The best Sewing Machine in the market is the Eldredge. Call at the residence of Mrs. J. W. McEwen. Agent, Rensselaer, Ind The surest evidence of the efficiency of Mr. and Mrs. Brewn as instructors in Art is the continual increase in the number of pupils.

Judge Woods, of Indianapolis, yesterday, in the course of instructions asked for by the U. S. grand jury, substantially declared that Co*. Dudley could not be indicted on account of his letter proposing to buy up “floaters” in “blocks of Hvq” for the reason that, to make out.a case of comspiracy, it would be necessary to prove that Dudley’s advice had been acted upon. Hus declaration reverses a recently expressed judicial opinion by Judge Woods, audit seems t® be at once bad logie and bad Jaw.- Philadelphia Telegraph—republican.

Evansville Courier: The proofs of Dudley’s guilt were overwhelming. Indeed no one cared to deny it, because he praoticaHjhadmitted the authorship of the / ’nM»cks of five” lette \ But law-abi Aig citizens believed that he wijild be punished for his crime. That there was no law to punish him was preposterous. Judge Woods himself found the law and interpreted it in his first c arge to the gra- d jury so plainly and fairly that even thos who had feared his partisani»m blamed themselves for misjudging him. The day came, however, when the question of his indictment v ad to besettlod. He had threatened an explosiop of “dynamite” that vould create “a rattling among the drv bone s,” and ir was plain that his threat caused uneasiness in high quarters. Something had to be don®. He was known to be a bosom friend of Harrison, and it would be an awful thing for the president-elect to be involved in election frauds, especially for his own b nefit-r Dudley's : artner, W. A. Bateman, came to Indianapolis, had an interview with Harrison, saw Judge Woods in person, and “supplemental instructions,” by which Judge Woods’ original charge was completely reversed, was the result.

This is the whole shameless story, and it has stirred the country to the depths ,of indignation.— Dudley will probably go free, but horEst republicans are asking themselves seriously whether a victory associated with such instances of fraud and judicial partisanism was not too dearly bought. Such paltering with words ea this would scarcely be worthy of the shabbiest pettifogger who hangs around police- ourts, deriving his precarious existence from the filthy ooze of jails, Yet here is a man so lost to all sense of offl cial dignity as to adopt the disreputable functions of the most brazen “shyster” to save a scoundrel whos crimes have brought success, along with everlasting shame upon a political party, from the penitentiary. Because Judge Woods’ sophistries are not even ingenious enough to hide from view t eir apparent meaning, which is to assure Dudley and other republican wretches like him that the courts will stand between them and punishment so tbeir crimes result in republican victories.

Judge Woods says that he is supported in his views by one of the highest judicial authorities in the land. No documentary evidence of the truth of this state ment has been published. But it is natural that be should cower in the presence of the storm of in diguation now howling about his ears, and attempt to hide behind Justice Harlan’s gown. If his statement be true, however, se much the worse. For if Chief Justice Fuller and every member of the supreme bench should rati fy these “supplemental instruc tions, intelligent and honest peo pie would despise them none the less, and the highest tribunal of the land would have to share the obloquy and unspeakable abhor rence with which Judge Woods is now regarded.