Democratic Sentinel, Volume 12, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 January 1889 — Carl Dander’s Philosophy. [ARTICLE]

Carl Dander’s Philosophy.

Der man mitout any honor vhill shwear by it shust as queek as anypody else. Some men demand a certificate of character simply pecause dey pay deir debts. It vhas a surprise to ’em. I has seen men who vhas too good to beat a street-car mit a lead nickel. Dey afterwards robbed der bank of $30,C00 und skipped to Canada. Some folks gif a poor family a turkey for Thanksgiving, und some gif ’em a sheet of piano music. It vhas all der same thing, oxcept dot der music doan’ make anybody seek. I has found out dot der ties who plots to steal my horse goes along mit his head down shust der same ash der man who repeats der Lord's Prayer. You can’t shudge a feller by his looks. After I vhas seek on der bed.l can look pack und see shust where I shouldn’t has done dot whay. After I vhas w’ell again I can see nottinga. I like to gif somepody advice, but when somepody advises me, I feel dot he should mind his own peesness. No doubt somepody has buried his money in der ground, but you may look for de money und I vhill take a bushel of turnips. It vhas cur’ous dot among all der men who know vhas ails dis country und has a remedy for der ailments, not qne recommends more saw-buck and less chin-chin. One reason vhy marriage vhas a failure vhas pecause der wife married for a home und der husband wanted a servant. Conscience vhas a queer thing. It keeps us from shearing a man out of a cent to his face und excuses us if we find und keep his wallet mit SSO in it pehind his back. No man is entirely satisfied mit der weather. For instance, the fly-screen man firmly believes dot winter vhas invented shust to spoil his peesness und help der wood men out.— Detroit Free Press.