Democratic Sentinel, Volume 12, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 January 1889 — Page 7

HE RESEMBLES HARRISON.

‘A Georgia County Editor Who Is Very Like the Celebrated Grandson. The editor of the Cedartown (Ga.) Guardian gives the following points of resemblance between himself and the President-elect: “He wears a 7| hat So do we, of the vintage of the summer of 'B7. “He wears a 6| shoe and "ban wear a €. We wear slippers—odd numbers, one a 5 and the other a 63 —but we could compromise on a 6 if it was a good wearer. He has a bunion on the right foot and no corns. There’s where we differ with him. We sport corns on both, ahd a sore on our heel where the ventilation was placed in our sock. His neck measure is 16|. Don’t say whether inches or feet, perpendicular or circumference- If either inches or feet up and down he beats us to the tank. If it means circumference, we repeat what we have said before, that he is a sort of bull-necked old structure, anyhow, and we are not built that way. He w r ears open front shirts at $27 a dozen. We wear them open front and rear—especally rear—and if we ever own a dozen we’ll pay the price and ask no questions. He seldom carries a silk, but usually a linen, handkerchief. We carry none at all, but we wipe our tears away on our coat sleeves just the same. He keeps one horse. We haveaneighbor who keeps one, but he keeps it awful close. Perhaps he knows best He smokes small cigars and does not smoke to excess. Small are the cigars we smoke, and it ever we smoked one to excess we are not aware of it. His whiskers are getting gray. Ours will get that way. Only a question of time. He uses bay rum on his hair and no oil. We use cammen water week days and neatsfoot oil Sundays. He is fond of base-ball. So are we, at a safe distance. But there is one thing, he certainly made a base-hit this time. His chest measure is his waist forty-two. Ours fluctuates, and we have not figured out the average. He has a good deal of stomach, and we have a very good one, too, but it is patient and long suffering. He weighs 180 and appears to be five feet seven and a halfWell there are times when we feel ten feet high and weigh a ton, but not ordinarily. He does not fancy jewelry. Neither do we. It is money thrown away, and our preacher denounces the custom of wearing it. Another thing, we never could endure a S4O saddle on a S2O horse. He wears high-buttoned coats, and seldom arrays himself in suits of one piece. That is our way precisely. High buttoned coats tell no talk, and suits of different pieces are extremely convenient. He reads for recreation. Is fond of Scott, Eliot, and Thackeray. We read for the recreation of clipping from our exchanges, and we like all of them that get up good stuff. He goes to bed at 10, gets up at 6 or 7. Sometimes we go to bed, but it is nobody’s business what hour. As to getting up it depends upon the condition of our conscience and the state of the weather. The family cooking is done by an old “aunty. ” Ours is, too, but we have to change them about once a week. They are such sticklers about , financial matters. He is a Presbyterian deacon, Well, some of our best subscribers are Presbyterians, and we make no invidious comparisons; but we’ll just bet him a year’s subscription to the Guardian against the Hong Kong Consulate that we can beat him taking up a collection with one hand tied behind us. In some ways we resemble each other, and in others we bear a stronger resemblance than he does.

Business Genius.

Irascible old gentleman—Consume you, sir 1 That’s my corn you stepped on! Affable stranger—Excuse me, sir. I am deeply grieved at the result of my awkwardness, and I beg you will accept my sincerest apologies. But, since you have introduced the subject, will you allow me to say that I have here a simple and inexpensive little article, which is positively warranted to cure any case of corns, bunions, or ingrow

Not Contagious.

“What were you laughing at so loudly this evening?” asked Mrs. Brown, when her husband came up stairs to bed. “I was telling that old schoolmate of mine a very funny story.” “But I didn’t hear him laugh.” “No,” growled the old man, “that fellow is an ass.”— New York Sun.

Desperation.

Miss Westend (confidentially)—Mr. Saphead proposed to me last night. Rival Belle—Did he? When I refused him in the afternoon he said he was going to do something desperate.’ —Philadelphia Record.

A singular phenomenon is observed in working the ore of the Martin White mine at Ward, Nevada. The ore is very base, and it is necessary to roast the whole of it. During the roasting process no deleterious or disagreeable fumes are observable, yet the hair and all the beards of the men engaged about the works are soon dyed to a bright and permanent green. Even the eyebrows of the workmen are as green as grass. A new piece of pocket jewelry is a fiilver rule with gold hinges and ends

Carl Dander’s Philosophy.

Der man mitout any honor vhill shwear by it shust as queek as anypody else. Some men demand a certificate of character simply pecause dey pay deir debts. It vhas a surprise to ’em. I has seen men who vhas too good to beat a street-car mit a lead nickel. Dey afterwards robbed der bank of $30,C00 und skipped to Canada. Some folks gif a poor family a turkey for Thanksgiving, und some gif ’em a sheet of piano music. It vhas all der same thing, oxcept dot der music doan’ make anybody seek. I has found out dot der ties who plots to steal my horse goes along mit his head down shust der same ash der man who repeats der Lord's Prayer. You can’t shudge a feller by his looks. After I vhas seek on der bed.l can look pack und see shust where I shouldn’t has done dot whay. After I vhas w’ell again I can see nottinga. I like to gif somepody advice, but when somepody advises me, I feel dot he should mind his own peesness. No doubt somepody has buried his money in der ground, but you may look for de money und I vhill take a bushel of turnips. It vhas cur’ous dot among all der men who know vhas ails dis country und has a remedy for der ailments, not qne recommends more saw-buck and less chin-chin. One reason vhy marriage vhas a failure vhas pecause der wife married for a home und der husband wanted a servant. Conscience vhas a queer thing. It keeps us from shearing a man out of a cent to his face und excuses us if we find und keep his wallet mit SSO in it pehind his back. No man is entirely satisfied mit der weather. For instance, the fly-screen man firmly believes dot winter vhas invented shust to spoil his peesness und help der wood men out.— Detroit Free Press.

Something for the New Year.

lhe -world-renowned success of Hostetler’s Stomach Birters, and their continued popularity for a third of a century as a stomachic, is scarcely more wonderful than the welcome that greets the annual appearance of Hostetter’s Almanac. This valuable medical treatise is published by Hostetter & Co., Pittsburgh, Pa., under their own immediate supervision, employing (>0 hands in that department. Six cylinder printing presses, 5 folding machine.!, 5 job presses, etc., are running about eleven months in the year on this ■work, and the "issue of same for 188.) will not be less than ten millions, printed in En lish, German, French, Welsh, Norwegian, Swedish, Holland, Bohemian, and Spanish languages. Refer to a copy of it for valuable and interesting reading concerning lioalth, and numerous testimonials as to the efficacy of Hostetter’s Stcmach Bitters, nmusi ment, varied in formation, astronomical calculations, and chronological items, etc., which can bo depended upon for correctness. The A manac for l«8y can be obtained, free of cost. from druggists and general country dealers in all parts of the country.

Beats the Record.

“Teiribly slow riding, this,” said one man uneasily to another on a certain railroad. “ Yes; I don’t remember having traveled slower than this but once before in mv life.” “When wai that?” “It was out West, last summer. “We started from a station late in the afternoon and were headed due east. By sundown we had reached a town seventeen miles west from starting point.” “But how do you account for it?” “I can’t explain it except on the theory that the earth’s rotary motion made the wheels slip.”— Merchant Traveler.

1889.—“ IRON AND STEEL.”—1889.

The Latiirt anil Brightest Christmas anti New Year’s Annual, by “ A Man ’’ of the Great Rock Island Route. Thousands of readers who have scanned With eager delight the pages of “Watt Stephens. the Ganius of Stiam" (1885), “Voltagal, the G :nius of Electricity” (1885). “Petroleum and Natural Gas" (1887). and “Coal and Coke" (18S8). will be happy to know that the latest addition to the famous Rock Island series, “Iron and Steel" (1889), dedicated to the “Boys and Girls of America,” is now realy for distribution. Inclose ten (10) cents in coin or. stamps (for postage) and your address, written plainly, to Geo. H. Smith, Assistant General Ticket and Passenger Agent, Chicago, and a copy will be sent you by return mail. Copies of previous Annuals also furnished at same rate. ■ “Iron and Steel” embodies a vast deal of useful information. In the company of his boy and girl visitors, ‘‘A Man” penetrates the mines, explains their underground workings, follows the mined product to the furnace and smelter, and describes the various processes to which it is subjected. The engravings are from original sketches and photographs, and admirably executed. The book makes a very handsome appearance. The cover is in itself a marvel—the design being as unique as the color effects are beautiful and artistic.

Life in Russia.

First Russian subject—ln a recent railroad accident the Czar’s dog was killed but the Czar escape 1. Shall w r e look glad or sorry in public ? Second subject—ls we look glad the police will say it is because the Czar’s favorite dog was killed; if we look sorry they will say it is because it was the dog and not the Czar that was killed. Either way we are lost. See you later in Siberia.— Philadelphia liecord.

A Radical Cure for Epileptic Fits.

To the Editor: Please inform your readers that I have a positive remedy for the above named disease which I warrant to cure the worst cases. So strong is my faith in the virtues of this medicine that I will send, free a sample bottle' and valuable treatise to any sufferer who will give me his P. O. and Express address. My remedy has cured thousands of hopeless cases. R. G. Root, M. C.. 183 Pearl street. New York.

Cancer Cured.

Dr. F. L. Pond is having wonderful success in the treatment and cure of cancer at thp cancer hospital at Aurora. IIL There are numbers of cures recently made by him which are truly wonderful. Those afflicted should not hesitate, but should tb*re for treatment at once. For information, Address Dr. F. L. Pond, Aurora, HL

The Fortune Teller.

Mistress of the House—Daddy Cuffy, have you seen anything of the missing spoon? Uncle Cuffy—No, ma’am; I sareh eb’ry place, an’ las’ night I eben bin to de fortune teller. She say you don’t respicion any er de fambly, you dunno who to respect.— Detroit Free Press.

The Handsomest Lady in Town

Remarked to a friend the other day that she knew Kemp's Balsam for the Throat and Lunas was a superior remedy, as it stopped her cough instantly when other cough remedies had nfo effect whatever. No to prove this und convince you of its merit, any druggist will give you a Sample Bottle Free. Large size. 50c and sl. “It is about time for wives to strike,” says an oppressed member of the gentle sex. Well, if they do strike, we hope they won’t strike very hard. A alight cold, if neglected, often attacks the lungs. Brown's Bronchial Troches give sure and immediate relief. Sold only in boxes. Price 25 cents. The boy who commences to steal his mother’s preserves may end by having his father’s jim-jams.

Rheumatism According to recent investigations is caused by excess of lactic acid in the blood. This acid attacks the fibrous tissues, particularly in the joints, and causes the local manifestations of the disease, pains and aches in the back and shoulders, and in the joints at the knees, ankles, hips and wrists. Thousands of people have found in Hood’s Sarsaparilla a positive and permanent cure for rheumatism. This medicine, by its purifying and vitalizing action, neutralizes the acidity of the blood, and also strengthens the whole body. Hood’s Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD & CO.. Lowell, Mass. 100 Doses One Dollar ASTHMA cured > GERMAN ASTHMA CURE Instantly relieves the most violent attack, and insures comfortable sleep. NO WAITING fur RE--Bl)LTS.Being used by inhalation, its action is immediate, direct and certain, and a cure is the result in all curable cases. A single trial convinces the most skeptical. Price 60c. and $1 00 of any druggist, or by mail. Sample Free for stamp Dr. R. SCMIFFMANN, BL Paal, Mlaa. CREAM BALM Cleanses the Nasal Pain and Inflammalion, Heals the Sores, Restores the si Senses of Taste and Smell. | TRY the^CURE. -FEVERj A particle is applied into each nostril and is agreeable. Price 50 cfs, at druggists; by mail, registered, 60 eta. l.i.x biiUiHiiKS. .»<> Wuireii bi., new a.. ■ Xo\ x\ The mother of a member of our firm has been cared of acancarom sore on her face of twenty years’ standing by taking S. S. S. Pexdlktjm, Yeary & Riley, Draught*, Fathum ville, Tex. Swift’s Specific cured our baba of an anyy eruption calle 1 Esxiinaafter the doctor’s prescription had failed, and ah* is now hale aui hearty. H. T. SHJ3E, Rich Hili, M *. XySend for our books on Blood and Skin Diseases an I Advlco t> Sufterers, mailed free. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.. Drawer 3, Atlanta, Gu ' The most certoll and safe pain REMEDY in the w ° r|d that instantly stops the most e x c r u t latlns Bif pains. It is lE’zFwtf truly the great CONQUEROR IB PAIN, and hasdonemore than any known reml edy. • For SPRAINS, BRUISES, BACKACHE, PAIN In theCHESTor SIDES, HEADACHE, TOOTHACHE, or any other EXTERNAL PAIN, a few aoplications act like magic, causing the PAIN to INSTANTLY STOP. For CONGESTIONS, INFLAMMATIONS, SORE THROAT, BRONCHITIS, COLD in the CHEST, RHEUMATISM, NEURALGIA, LUMBAGO. SCIATICA, PAINS In the Small of the Back, etc., more extended, longer continued and repeated applications are necessary to effect a cure. All INTERNAL PAINS (In the Bowels or Stomach), CRAMPS, SPASMS, SOUR STOMACH, NAUSEA, VOMITINC, HEARTBURN, DIARRHOEA, COLIC, FLATULENCY, FAI NTINC SPELLS, are rel ieved Instantly and .QUICKLY CURED by taking internally as directed, bold by Druggists. Price 50c. SCOTT’S EMULSION OF PURE COD LIVER OIL 452 HYPOPHOSPHITES. Almost as Palatable as Milk, So disguised that the most delicate stomach can take it. Remarkable as a FLESH PRODUCER. Persons GAIN rapidly while taking IT. SCOTTS EMULSION is acknowledged by Physiciann to be the FINEST and BEST preparation of its class for the relief of CONSUMPTION, SCROFULA. GENERAL DEBILIJY-, z \ Wasting Diseases of-. Children.., and CHRONIC COUCHB. Sold by all Druggists. d "itt *IT .a , , J,, , .

I S TJAC^k s °*L TRADE UrfWjjwaF XT CONQUERS PAIW. Relieves and cures BEAD ACHE, RHEUMATISM, Tocth&che, Sprains, NEURALGIA, BRUISES, Sciatica, Lumbago. Burns and Scalds* At Druggists anti Dealers. THE CHARLES A. VOGELER CO.. Baltlmors, Nd. aad m.k. mor. mwey worklaf ft>r u» thaa WaVt al anything ala. In th* world Either aax C**tly outfit T.rtu. ,Kra : Addraaa, Tnua * Co., Auguata, Main*. gfr hr to S 8 a day. Samples worth BUM. FREE; not under the horse's feet. Write BrewsSafety Rein-Holder Co., Holly, Mich. HfiMF QTIIRY Bookkeeping, Business Forms. ynlC OI UM I a Penmanship,Arithmetic.Shorthand, etc., thoroughly taught by mail. Circulars free. Bbyawt’s Bu.inkm Collxok. Buffalo. N.Y. relief, cthmi le&ssi-SS: Mass. €OLDIERS jkILMIUI IV bounty collected: Deserters wr relieved; success or no lee. Laws sent free. A. W. McCormick & Son, Wnahiat’**. b, C. a cuai.ud, 0. S.E.Lf A NQ||Q RANCHES, FARMS & hrHlwhu city property. Some rare bargains; must be sold to close up partnership. What have you to EXCHANGE? Send for list at ouce. Lloyd B. Ferrell or F. E. Parmenter,WlCHlTA. Kas. DETECTIVES Wanted in every County. Shrewd men to act under instructions in our Secret Service. Kxperieuce not necessary. Particulars free. Grann&n Detective Bureau C 0.44 Arcida,Cincinnati.o. H CURES WHERE ALL ELSE FAILS. ET ■E Best Cough Syrup. Tastes good. Uso FS IM in time. Sold by druggists. LADIES LO OK I A No . elty Rug Machine sent by mail 10r Satisfaction guaranteed or mjhiMKfTgry-inonev refunded. Wholesale price uss** 5 ',.,- reduced to Agents. New Pricelist of machines, yarn, patu-rns, etc., and a book of beautiful colored pattern designs sent free. *ai*Agents wanted. E. ROSS & CO.. Toledo, O. aa ■ I ah BBB® a I w, *k • t**' o *• Ji I B a- KUj ■ ■■ srllour cnod. I.y .ample U E kr“ w luS B®’ 118 lo ' l,u "iioie«»ie .u<i 0 n L L u IT I l li 2*cent stamp. Wages S 3 Per Day. Permanent poMltion. No postals answered Money advanced for wn<es, ndvertishiß, etc. Centennial Manufacturing Co., Cincinnati, Ohio. CONSUMPTION I have a positive remedy for the above disease; by its use thousands of oases of the worst kind and of long standing have been cured. So strong is my faith in its efficacy that I will sond two bottles free, tmrether with a valuable treatise on this disease to any sufferer. Give Express and P.O.address. T. A. Slocum. M.U., 181 Pearlßt„ N.Y.

BRIGHTIN E DIA BET ES< BRIGHT’S DISEASE AND KINDRED AILMENTS. Prominent phy.lcians recommend Briglitine, and jobberain general carry it. Vnluable information mailed free. Aah yourdruirKiat lor it or send Ml to XV M. T. LINDLEY Ac CO., aiH LaSalle St , Chicago, ill., U.S.A. ! It it saje to tend montv to thU hOuu, Mention thU pavtr when you write. The iniin who has invested from three AQk We oiler the tin I who wants service to five dollars in a Rubber Coat, and <"> (not style) a garment that will keen at his first half hour's experience in ■*■ ■■ ■■■ him dry In the hardest storm. It is a storm finds to his sorrow that it is BfH* ■ called TOWER’S FISH BRAND hardly a better protection than a mos- ■ “ SLICKER," u name familiar to every qulto net'/ng, not only feels chagrined w w ■ Cow-boy all over the land. With them at being so badly taken In, but also ■ ■ ■■»■ the only perfect Wind and Waterproof feels if he docs not look exactly like kg Bb gu Coat Is “Tower's Fish Brand Slicker. ’ Ask for the “FISH BRAND” Slickes H IHmI yg and take no other. If your storekeeper does not have the fish brand, send for descriptive catalogue. A. J. Tower, 20 Simmons St., Boston, Mass. -AEtk WANTED LOCAL AGENTS. SgDUPLEX RADIATING FUEL SAVERMs] Wf 1-4 to 1-3 THE FUEL SAVED. < SELLS AT SIGHT. ADAPTED TO ALL STOVES. SEND FOR CIRCULARS ARD MME MONEY. I MOREY MFG. CO., Waukesha, Wis. ll T| it n ever fails, k Bad blood means an inactive liver and a sympaJF tactic or unnatural action of the stomach, bowels and kidneys, and as a result ■"f M BILIOUSNESS. Effl gf' z , "'he 6 y m P toms are drowsiness, loss of appetite, ■ - Araßf eadache, lack of energy, pain in the back, costiveness or diarrhoea, sallowness of skin, furred tongue, generally attended with melancholy and BmGENERAL DEBILITY. fc| To cure these diseases means to restore the action hn t ' ic ' ivcr ot^cr organs, and to X-ZZZ the. poi sou in '4 t^e blood. A remedy containing Mandrake, Cuiverß Root, Burdock and Cascara Sagrada, acting Epsl especially on the liver, stomach, kidneys and sweat glands, is the proper one. 1 1 fJ Bl "T lIDA T" DAI The process of digestion, assimilation and VvIVQ I ■■ AA I IKZlwa removal needs the healthy action of the liver, pancreas and glands which supply the bile and other fluids, in order to stimulate them to proper action. Hibbard's Rheumatic Syrup combines all the best medicines, with tonics to restore all secretions and supply the needed action. ■ ■ HIBBARD’S RHEUMATIC SYRUP.[J It Never Fails. ,g|g» Always in season— Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Procure it of your druggist, or ■ ’ ", j|' send direct to us. Price, si.oo; 6 bottles, 55.00; plasters, ajc. TESTIMONIALS POSITIVELY TRUE: For over twenty years I have been a great suf- Both myself and wife have been using Hib- ■ serer from the eftecls of a diseased stomach, and bard’s Rheumatic Syrup this fall and winter for three years past have been unable to do any with excellent success. We know it to be a I I business- Two years ago my case was pro- great medicine. For constipation, dyspepsia g nounced by the best medical skill incurable, or indigestion it certainly has no equal. BHRrt* Last June I began using Hibbard’s Rheumatic E. V. KnAFP, Syrup, and at once began to feel better. 1 have Grand Rapids, Mich., Feb. 4, 18S8. Fanner BMM N used thirteen bottles and am a well man. —— fa • * ' HMpfl EowAßn Baker, No remedies'kndwn so-highly endorsed by Master Mechanic and Blacksmith, its hqrne people; Our Medical Pamphlet, treat- -• 202 Jackson Street, Jackson, Mich,., ing o'n.all diseases, sent free on application. <y> Baa. I Rheumatic Syrup Company Jackson Mich il d I*l■ I d nHTITTWM

ASK ANY NEWSDEALER on. POSTMASTER For THE CHICAGO LEDGEJL B yon cannot-find, it Pogtoffice, send your name and address upoh a postal card and get n saaaple copy. THE CHICAGO LEDGER is the best Family Paper in the West, and should bo in emu intelligent household. Address THE CHICAGO LEDGER, Chicago, 111.

IPiao'. Remedy for Catarrh la the H > Best, Easiest to Um, and Cheapest. ■ Sold by druggists or sent by malt 50c. E. T. HazelUne, Warren, Pa. ||| NORTHERN PACIFIC 11 LOW PRICE RAILROAD LARDS ® FREE Government LANDS. tV*IILUoys or acuu of each In Minawota. Worth Dakota, Montana. Idaho, Washington and Oregon. CCUn CAD Publications with Maps doseribinglte OCnU rUn UtST Agricultural, Grating and Timber Lands now oi>*n to Settler* Sent Free. Addreee CHAS. B.LAMBORYMV*. HELP »22 YEARS FOR THE EILERT’S Oini/ EXTRACT OF CHERRY Has cured all coughs, colds, bronchitis, and relieved asthma and consumption for all 1 who have used it. Is not this an evidence of its merits and reliability? It is a sure and safe medicine for all bronchial troubles, and never fails to give satisfaction. Try Iti under a full warrantee. Price, 50 cents and' SI.OO per bottle. Prepared by Emmeb-o Pbo- * PBiBiABY Co.. Chicago, HL M.W. DUNHAM’S OAKLAWN FARM. Aj3,000 French Coach horses, IMPORTED. 1 STOCK ON UANDi RhX 300 STALLIONNofsrrvIM. able age; 150 COLTS with clioico pedigrees, superior indl■V 200 inPOHTBD Es K BROOD HARFS (80in foal MW by Brilliant, the most famous living sire). Beat Quality. Prices Reasonable. W Terms Easy. Don’t Buy without InspectW Ing tills Greatest and Most Buccessftal I Breeding Establishment of America. I«i»41 B| |>*r«ha>*r., Udr*.*, for 910-psg* tsUlapi*, M. n W, DUNHAM. Wayne, Illinois. |Q*>»« -••tCklr.ro «nC. A g.W. R’yk.l Tara*rJua* a Hlgia. ■ I prescribe and fully endorse Big G as the only Cor«» in specific for the certain cure TO 6 DATS. W Of this disease. JWanarutMd not i*W G. H. INGRAHAM,M. I)., ow.WtelW*”- Amsterdam, N. Y. itrdoniy by tbs We have sold Rig G for VssWa.... many years, and it has given the best of salls- . WSa Cincinnati,MßSS faction. Ohio. K ’ DYC £.? & CO O. M Chicago, 111. 0. N. U. No. 52 -88 W HKN WHITING TO vv please say you saw the advertisement in this paper.