Democratic Sentinel, Volume 12, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 November 1888 — An Experince with a Widow. [ARTICLE]

An Experince with a Widow.

I have no doubt at all but that they are a very good institution, in their own way, and just as necessary as death and taxes—but I’ll take mine without ’em hereafter, for all that. I mean widows. You see, I always had a secret horror of a mother-in-law and a widow. It is as natural to me as original sin, or the sign on Johnson’s drug store. This is how it was: I was traveling from Atlanta to Smithville, not very long ago, and it so happened that a lone widow and myself were left the only occupants of the first-class coach half way between Macon and Smithville. I saw at once she w as a widow by the look she gave me, and would have retired gracefully to the sleeping car, but for the fact that it was crowded, and not a seat available. She knew that she had me, -and was not long in letting me know it. “It’s awful traveling alone, sir!” “I don’t find it so, madam,” I said, raising up the window and looking out. “No; because you’re not a poor widder, like I am—that’s why. Please let down that window; the draft will kill me!” “I wish it would!” I muttered, as the window came down with a bang. But she overheard me. “Oh! he. wants to kill me! Conductor! Conductor!” Here the conductor came running in. He shook me roughly by the arm. “See here, now! None of your insults to a defenseless woman. You’ll not kill anybody on my train. I’ll have you arrested the first station I get to!” “He’s hurt my affections!” sobbed the wido w. “I’d make him pay for it,” said the conductor. “A poor lone widder,” she cried. It was in vain I sought to explain. I got off the train at the first station, and laid low and kept dark two days. Then I crawled out and sneaked home, a sadder but a wiser man. Brethren, no more widders in mine! —Smithville (Ga.) News.