Democratic Sentinel, Volume 12, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 November 1888 — THE KICKER MAN. [ARTICLE]

THE KICKER MAN.

Editorial Life Has Its Ups and Downs. . We take the following from the last issue of the Arizona Kicker: APOLOGETICAL. We hope our readers will excuse the typographical appearance of "the inside pages of the Kicker this week. We were working them off as usual on Wednesday, having Joe, the Digger -pJndian, as roller-boy, when Judge Shackawacksen made us a call and jumped on our collar. Greatly to our surprise we picked the Judge up and mopped him all over the office and flung him outdoors. His boot heels, hind buttons, spectacles and tobaccobox flew about and alighted on the forms, and in our excitement we failed to notice them. The big hole in our editorial on the tariff was caused by a boot-heel. The blur on the poem entitled: “When Baby Wakes Again,” was caused by two hind buttons. Such society items as are unreadable owe their present state to the Judge’s spectacles. We hope it won’t occur again. NOT THIS EVE. Our name is being prominently mentioned in connection with the United States Senatorship from Arizona. While we are flattered and feel to step high, we must beg our friends to hold up. In the first place, we are tpo honest, sober and conscientious. In the second place, we are needed at home. We propose to run 10,000 human coyotes out of this Territory during the next twelve months, and put a thousand others behind prison bars. While we feel tickled all over and can hardly sleep nights, we can’t accept the office nor leave Arizona. Just pass the place along to some other man and leave us to do our work. A DECEIVER. We owe no grudge to Col. Hastings because he once cuffed our ears in the corridor of the Town Hail. We had proved him a liar, a swindler and an absconder, and he had to cuff to save his reputation. The Colonel is now seeking the nomination for Sheriff, and is promising, in case he is elected, to secure our town a Government appropriation of $250,000 to build a public building. We are actuated only by the kindest motives when we say that the Colonel is a blooming deceiver. He can no more secure a dollar from Uncle Sam than we can borrow one of the hinges from the gates of heaven. All the influence ho has in this world of sin and sorrow is confined to the lied Hot saloon and its crowd of reprobates. Do not be deceived in the castor-oil voice •of the Colonel. AN EXPLANATION. The cause of the Kicker in opposing the building of a bridge over Red Horse River, to connect our town with Dutch Hill, is being severely criticised by some of our citizens, who declare that we are opposed to progress and improvements. Such is far from being the case. Any open bridge across the river would be an encouragement to suicides and accidents. When a man gets drunk on Arizona whisky, he either wants to kill some one or jump off a bridge. There are fifty men in town who would go over to Dutch Hill, fill up, and fall off the bridge coming back if it had a railing fifteen feet high. As to a covered bridge, it would at once be taken possession of by all the old soakers in town who tried to get home, and in a month would be voted a public nuisance. While we just holler for progress and improvement, we can't see our way clear on this bridge question, and shall, therefore, oppose it until we have a change of heart. NOTICE. We have in our possession about forty deeds and conveyances belonging to as many different parties which we picked up on the street last night. They dropped from the coat-tail pocket of our estimable and efficient Register of Deeds as he was weaving his way homeward at a late hour. In the East this would be called a piece of gross carelessness, and the Register would be expected to resign. Out here in the glorious West no importance is attached, and the estimable Register takes an extra drink and pulls another wire for renomination. And the worst of it is that we owe genial Henry sl4 in cash and daren’t go for him until it is paid. —Detroit Free Press.