Democratic Sentinel, Volume 12, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 May 1888 — German Jokes. [ARTICLE]

German Jokes.

A PESSIMIST. Schultz—What makes you look so blue, Miller? Miller (sighing)—lwas just thinking that in nine months and a’few days and 1888 will have passed into oblivion. HER ONLY CHANCE. A. —Why does Miss Elderly go on tbe ice every time there is skating? B. Because that’s her only chance to see men at her feet. THE AWKWARD SQUAD. Officer (to awkward recruit) —Ready I Present arms! Aim! Great Scott, he looks like a spavined monkey blowing a flute! SAT DOWN ON. Lady—Are you acquainted with Miss Schmidt? Dude—Yaas, I talked with her for half an hour the other night Awful stupid creature. “How so?” “Why you see she nevah opened her mouth the whole time I wath taking to her.” “What! Didn’t she even yawn?” HE WAS DISGUSTED. A. —Were you invited to the dinner at Baron von Geizig’s yesterday ? B. —Yes, I was there. “I feel sorry for you, for they set an awful poor table.” “That’s what I heard, so I made up my mind to fare miserably; but somehow or other we had a spendid dinner. I never was so disappointed and disgusted in my life.” A CHEAP BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Wife (who is playing chess with her husband) —Don’t you know that to-day is my birthday ? Husband (abstractedly)—ls it? “Yes; ain’t you going to give me anything as a birthday present ?” “1 had forgotten all about it. Certainly, I’ll give you something. I’ll let you take a pawn. ” LOOKING OUT FOR THE BUTTERED SIDE. Smith—l am going to dinner. Won’t you go along and take dinner with me? Jones—Not to-day, but I’ll accept your invitation for to-morrow. Your wife was kind enough to invite me to dinner to-day.