Democratic Sentinel, Volume 12, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 April 1888 — Page 6

A PROPHECY. Boon tbe crack of the bat and the bounding ball Will tickle our hearts with glee. And th* crowd will yell at the umpire's call. As if Bedlam had been set free. Then “rattling three-baggers" will be in style. And “clean home runs" will be ripe, Vw:k\ &. /W VJp fr\L And “the baby" will startle us once in a while With “a regular blizzard swipe.” The papers will print long columns of stuff, But the ball-crank will cry for more, While the women will skip the whole thing in a huff, For tney can't understand the score. The lawyer will yell at the local nine As wild as a crazy loon; If you go to his office you’ll find the sign : “In court for the afternoon,” The man of business his cares forgets, While ne howls at a three-base hit; The sharpers will keep an eye out for bets, And the countrymen will get bit. For the crack of the bat and the bounding ball Men love with the keenest zest, And the triumvirs’purses will bulge next fall, But the pennant will go out West. —Somerville Journal.

BEHIND THEIR BACKS.

BY MARY R. P. HATCH.

Theophilus Smith has invented a wonderful instrument. It has not yet been patented, owing to an accident which I shall mention later on, and so, out of loyalty to my friend, who expects to realize a large return from the invention, I shall not describe it fully, but will give a brief sketch of the occasion when it was tested. A slight preamble, however, is necessary. Doubtless every thinking person has, at some period of his life, puzzled himself over the electric communication or responsiveness of mind as well as of matter. For instance, it frequently happens that thinking deeply of a person is the forerunner of meeting him, and finding that he has been engrossed with thoughts of your-

self, a mutual desire, or mutual thought, having culminated in this meeting. “How strange!" you exclaim together; “I was just thinking of you.” Theophilus thought long and deeply of these matters, and at last conceived a method of connecting two such currents of electricity by means of a powerful instrument, so*that the thoughts of one person might be .telegraphed, as it were, to another whose mind wss at that time in unison; and, when words were used, a phonograph attachment would be set in motion to tell them off, reproducing the exact tones of the speaker. But in an invention of this kind, so startling in its powers, there must of necessity be some drawbacks. For instance, putting one’s mind “in unison,” as my friend Theophilus expresses it, is impossible, unless the person with whom you desire to communicate is thinking of you at that exact time. Theophilus is blessed with a dear little woman for a wife, one who believes, as all women should, implicitly in her husband’s genius. When he spoke of testing the machine she said at once, with the wisdom that seems to characterize her: “Why not invite my four dearest friends, with their husbands, to a social tea? They will say nothing hard of us, of course, but they will say something on their way home; all people do. Mrs. White usually does not wait until she gets into the street. I have been with her and all of them, you see, and know their ways. Mrs. Black speaks later, but with no length; Mrs. Gray waits until she gets nearly home, and Minnie Green until she is housed. You-know she is so quiet, she never chatters in the street like some women.” There was so much wisdom in this that I was lost in admiring wonder, while Theophilus said concisely: “You are a trump, my dear,” at whioh the little woman hushed with pleasure. The day arrived, and the company sat down to my friend’s well-spread table. I was present, of course, to share in his triumph. The food was excellent, and every one appeared delighted with each other and their entertainers, while little Charlie, my friend’s only child, was petted to his heart’s content. My thoughts wandered often, I confess, to the innocent-looking case that contained my friend’s instrument. shared in my feelings, I am sure, for he was absent-minded at times and I caught him glancing quietly in that direction more than once. Not so Mrs. Smith. She was as calm as a summer morning, which shows, I think, that the feminine mind more readily

lends itself to deception, for as soon as her guests took their departure Mrs. Smith rushed to the machine and exclaimed, as she touched the battery: “Nowfor Mrs. White.” Mrs. White was a very extravagant lady, whose former husband died a bankrupt, and whose present one, though in easy circumstances at the time of their marriage, was now said to be much straitened. “Such a table!” clicked the machine, in Mrs. White’s very tones. “I like Mrs. Smith; but she is so close. Homemade biscuit, when she might have got delicious rolls at the caterer’s, and sponge-cake instead of fruit! Did you observe the cake-basket, Edwin? I am sure it was plated, and that dress she wore was made over! I know it, and without a bit of anything new. How can folks live so?” Mrs. Smith’s face was crimson; but Theophilus was jubilant. “Mrs. White to a T! Pass on to Mrs. Black, my dear. I shall have to use your mind, for I could not bring mine in unison with gossip,” which, don’t you see, was saying that his wife could. Mrs. Black and her husband began life without a dollar and worked their way to a comfortable fortune. They were rather parsimonious, but this was owing, no doubt, to the rigid economy they had been obliged to practice in early life. It now appeared they were already conversing about their entertainment, for Mr. Black’s words came directly: “Such extravagance would ruin most men. I noticed Smith has real walnut doors to his library. He took me in after tea and showed me his books. Scientific men haven’t a grain of sense —not a grain! Books enough to buy a house that would rent for five hundred a year!” “Did you notice the biscuit?” asked his wife. “They were so rich they would drop to pieces off the plate. So much silver! and solid too; for Mrs. Sqpth thinks it is vulgar to use plated ware. She may see the time ” “Now for Mrs. Gray,” said my friend’s wife, readjusting the current with a jerk. “She is neither extravagant nor the reverse. They are not rich and she makes a penny serve the turn of many. Her costumes are exquisite. She may think a trifle too much about such things; but she is very lovable and her husband advises her.” With powerful adaptability Mrs. Smith became in unison with Mrs. Gray. “Poor Marion is such a dowdy! If

there is any one in this world I like, it is Marion Smith; but I never see her that Ido not ache to fix her up. With her means, it is too bad that she has no more taste. The dress she had on cost enough to clothe me for three months; but how it looked! And her hair—oh, dear! I could dress it to look exquisitely, for it is beautifully long and abundant.” “But she doesn’t give her mind to such things, Bella; she and Smith are above it.” “I know it; and their home is delightful; so elegant and quiet, and little Charlie is a perfect cherub.” My hostess looked a little relieved, and likely, I thought, to listen awhile longer, so I said to her: “Do not forget Mrs. Green, who, you know, is less likely to be a subject of electrical currents than the others. She seems to have scarcely any thoughs of her own, I thought. Rather insipid, though no doubt an excellent lady.” The first ejaculation of Mrs. Green, however, made us all jump, it was so unlike her usual languid tone. “Good gracious!” and the instrument worked with fervor, “I’ve been thinking all the way home about that spread of the Smiths’. Talk about their high breeding! They are simply stupid. Mr. Smith seems to have his head in the clouds all the time. I like to be amused and if that old bach that is there all the time hadn’t eaten sauce with his cake I should have gone to sleep. They say he was in love with Mrs. Smith before she married Theophilus. I wonder if Theophilus knows it! How ridiculous they act over that child of theirs, thinking he is so bright and forward and laughing at all his silly little speeches—actually bringing him to sit at the table. Homely, too! Smith’s nose and Brackett’s chin is enough to spoil any child. You know we have always thought Ebenezer a little' more backward than any other children; but land! he is ten times as smart as that child.” “Ebenezer, indeed!” exclaimed my friend’s wife, jerking the machino with so much force that it fell from the table, saying, feebly: “Such fools!”

no doubt the beginning of a new sentence by Mrs. Green. “And I thought that woman weak,” gasped my friend’s wife. “She seems anything but weak, and so do you,” said Theophilus, ruefully, lifting up his machine, and seeing at a glance that it was broken. “It will take a long time to repair this, for I can trust it to no hand but my own,” said he. “The test has been all that could be desired, and rather more,” he added. “You’ll be • famous, Theophilus,” I cried, with enthusiasm. “Famous! Well, but if it breaks friendships, shall I be doi >g irood?” “Friendships!” repeated is wife. “It will be a sort of society sitter,” said I. The machine has been repaired, and will make its appearance soon. Theophilus showed it to Edison the other day. “Smith,” said he, “you have stolen my thunder.”

Death Customs of the Greeks.

When a death is expected the attendant mourners in the Greek islands have many little customs peculiar to themselves. The moribund is handed a bowl of water, into which he puts a pinch of salt for each person with whom he is at enmity, saying as he does so: “May my wrath perish as this salt;” for it is considered dreadful for a man to die leaving an enemy behind him. His spirit, it is believed, will not rest, jut will wander about as a poor ghost, sucking the blood of his friends, like the shades in ancient hades, to gain strength for his earthly wandering. If the complaint is consumption they suppose that three Erinnyes stand ready to pounce at children at the corners of the room; hence the young are kept out of the way when the dying is in extremis, and a hole is opened over his head to allow the Erinnyes to escape. Fevers are best cured by priestly incantations; the name of the disease is written on a slip of paper, and with prayer and much incensing this is bound to a tree, hoping thereby to transfer the malady. Incense is much used by the priest in his visitations to the sick; the whole room is thick with it, and perhaps contagion is thus often avoided. When the death has occurred the women rush onto the flat roof or some other conspicuous place, where they rend the air with their cries, tear their hair, and give way to unbridled grief. The town crier is sent round to announce the fact to the neighbors and to summon friends to the death-wail, which takes place about an hour or two after the spirit has left the body. After the body has been washed in wine it is laid out on a bier in the center of the oneroomed house, arrayed in the deceased’s best clothes, decked out with flowers, and with lamps burning at the side, reminding us of the ancient custom of placing the corpse thus in the midst of the hall, dressed in as handsome a robe as the family could afford, in order, according to .Lucian, that the dead may not be cold on the passage to the hades and may not be seen naked by Cerberus. Then begins the death-wail ceremony —a scene of heart-rending grief such as took place in Priam’s palace over the dead body of Hector. T hese deathwails are, in fact, one of the most striking bonds of connection between the Hellenism of the past and the Hellenism of the present; and in the Greek islands, despite the strictness of the more civilized members of the orthodox church, they cling to them with surprising tenacity.

How Time Flies.

How “age steals on.” Causeur was in an up-town street car, a morning or two since, and next him sat a man of perhaps thirty, of magniheent physique and possessing a mustache which the most dashing cavalry colonel might covet. At his side sat a bright little boy of about eight years, apparently on his way to school. They had evidently had some talk about the war, for the little fellow said: “Papa, when was the battle of An“Why,” said the father, “I don’t know exactly; it was some time in the early part of the war.” “But,” pers sted the boy, “don’t you remember it, papa ?” “Remember it? No, my boy, I don’t I couldn’t have been more than four or five years old when it was fought. Ask your grandfather. He remembers it. ” And then Causeur fell into a train of serious thought. Can it be that there are men grown, with children old enough to attend school and ask questions, who don’t know, and apparently don’t care, when the battle of Antietam was fought; men to whom the details of the war are as much a matter of history as are the details of the Mexican war to Causeur? He was alive when they were fighting at Cerro Gordo, at Chapultepec, and at Molino del Rey, but which of these fights was a victory for our side, he has not, at the present moment, the least idea, nor does he take enough interest in the matter to Look it up. But can it be that we are getting so far away from the war, the memory of which war burned into us older fellows, that there are grown men who have not thought it worth while to inform themselves in a detailed way about it. “Age steals on,” indeed.— Boston Herald.

The Glories of Literature.

Seedy Individual—Can I get a position as canvasser for that new book you intend putting out on subscription? Publisher—Do you know anything about the book ? S. Is—Yes, I’m the author; and I thought j* I could get a position as canvasser I might be able to make a little money out of the book.—Ltfe-

THE GREEN DIAMOND.

The C.ubs Preparing for the Battle of 1888—The Clarkson Deal. ‘ The Veteran Catcher of the Chicago Team—Spalding’s Australian Tour. [CHICAGO CORRESPONDENCE.] The time in which the bells will sound for inaugural games upon every ball park in the country is not now far distant. Ere another fortnight has passed the teams of all our crack professional leagues and associations will have entered upon their pennant race’, while commercial leagues, country leagues, and city leagues will be striving hard for the honor of victory in their respective organizations. Never before has public interest in the national game of the Americans been so widespread, and, judging from the makeup of the great teams in the League, American Association, and Western Assoc ation, the struggles of 1888 will be of a character well calculated to lay a foundation for increased interest one year later. The manner in which the young blood of the big league team's has shown up in practice this spring is certainly most encouraging. Crane, Slattery, Foster, Hatfield, and Cleveland, of the New Yorks, have more than surpassed the expectations of their club managers. Hoy and Gardiner, of Washington, have proven good ones, while Anson writes in the very highest terms of Clark, Farrell, Krock, Duffy, Hoover, and the balance of the colts now with him upon the Western and Southern trip. Baldwin and Van Haltren are showing up splendidly, their improvement over last year’s work being very noticeable.

FRANK FLINT.

“Old Hoss” Flint, the veteran catcher of the Chicago team, has a pair of hands that would make a street-car driver envious. Covered with knots and lumps, the result of foul tips and hard catching, they are things which when once seen can never be forgotten. “Larry Corcoran gave me most of these crooked digits,” said Silver, as he looked at his big paws. “This battered finger” (pointing to the great finger of his right band) “I got in Pittsburg It was in that famous fourteen-inning game, when Clarkson and Galvin were pitching like ‘a house on fire.’ The Pittsburgs had a man on third, with one man out. A desperate play had to be made. Carroll, who was at bat, knocked a still ground ball to Burns, and the man c»n third made a dash for home. With one of his terrific wrist throws Burns sent the ball toward the plate in a straight line. I thought I could eat it up, it came so straight and pretty. By some inadvertence I thrust my fingers instead of my palms toward the ball, which struck squarely on the end of this big finger. Of course, I dropped the ball, and Pittsburg won the game by one run. That crook laid me up for two weeks. It shattered the bone and crushed the flesh so that blood flowed freely. “I have but one straight finger—the great finger of my left hand. Two of my fingers were knocked out before I began to play professionally. The rest of the knots, with the exception of the one I got in Pittsburg, were given me by Corcoran. He was the worst pitcher I ever caught. I mean by that that he was the hardest on my fingers. I did not wear- a glove in those days, and this accounts for a great many of the knocks I received. Corcoran gave Goldsmith a ‘finger,’ too.” The biggest transaction of the present month has been the transfer of John Clarkson’s services to the Boston Club. The deal had been long anticipated and therefore surprised no one, although it has caused an endless amount of discussion in every base-ball center of the country. President Spalding, for the Chicago Club, last week received thq check of the Boston Club for SIO,OOO, the amount paid for Clarkson's release by Boston. The Spalding Base-Bull Guide for 1888 has been placed on sale. This is the twelfth annual edition of a work which is generally recognized as an authority on all matters pertaining to the National League, containing, as it alone does, its official statistics. In addition there are several new and interesting features, prominent among which are the explanatory appendix to the newly revised code of playing ruJies, and special statistics of the series of contests for the world's championship. This is by far the best edition of the work that has yet been published, and its variety of information makes it both useful and interesting’to professionals and amateurs alike. The Australian tour projected by President Spalding and Captain Anson is still an interesting theme in ball circles here, as it doubtless is elsewhere. Considered from every point of view the project is a stupendous enterprise, quite in keeping with the character of the man who has so boldly and resolutely taken it in hand; and for his pluck alone every base-ball lover must wish Mr. Spalding all possible success. Softer than the rustle of an angel’s wing, sweeter than the music of Apollo’s lute, more entrancing far than note from Orpheus’ lyre, is the voice of him who says: “Put me down for a year’s subscription,"-—Anniston Hot Blast.

MYSTERIOIS FATALITIES.

What la It That la Killing So Many Prominent Men* The death of Kaiser Wilhelm, ex-Gov. Hoffman, Banker J. W. Drexel, Lieut. Gov. Dorsheimer, Dr. Carpenter, Chief Justice Waite, and Gen. B. H. Bre water, in quick aucceayioa, and all from the same cause, although having different nanus, is startling. March and April are fatal months, not only for consumptives, but also far many diseases more d sguised but none the less fatal Gov. Hoffman had heart disease, Gov. Dorsheimar, apparently a strong, well, robust man, over six feet high, sickens and dies in four days, of pneumonia. Chief Justice Waite meets the same fate, and ho was apparent y the personification of vigor. Drexel, the Philadelphia banker, and Brewster, ex-Atty. Gen., were suddenly cut off, in the midst of great usefulness, by linghi’d disease, and Dr. Carpeuter, the well-known New York physician, suddenly died of kidney disease, never having suspected that ho was at all troubled therewith! This reminds us of the easi of Dr. Frank Hawthorn, of New Orleans. He was lecturing before the Louisiana University on the peculiarly deceptive character of Kidney disease and the methods of ‘microscopical and chemical tests. After having shown specimen after specimen of diseased fluids, and made very clear the point that kidney dises e may exist without the knowledge or suspicion of the patient or practitioner, with gracious self-confidence he remarked: “Now, gentlemen, let me allow you the healthv water of a strong, well man.” He applies the test! He staggers! “Gentlemen, I have made a terrible discovery!” he gaaps, “I myself have the fatal Bright’s disease!” In less than a year this specialist of the commonest and most fatal of diseases was dead. He was a victim of advanced Kidney disease the presence of which in himself he had never suspected! L. B. PRICE, M. D., a gentleman and physician of the highest standing, of Hanover C. H., Va., four years ago, after trying every other remedy for Bright's disease, including famous mineral waters, cured himself by ■Warner’s Safe Cure, and March 24, 188 s, wrote : “I have never had the slightest symptoms of my old and fearful trouble.” JOHN DOHERTY, of Concord, N. H., was given KJ with Bright’s disease by the best physicians in 1879. He was in a dreadful • state. After using anil being cured in 1881 by Warner's Safe Cure, in 1887 he wrote; “1 am better than ever.” JOHN COLEMAN, Esq., 100 Gregory St., New Haven, Conn., was first taken sick in 1873, gradually ran down until he had pronounced Bright's disease, rheumatism and all the other deceptive signs of kidney disease. The best physicians in New Haven could do nothing for him. He then began using Warner’s Safe Cure, 200 bottles of which he and his family have used and he is cured. W. T. CRAWFORD, proprietor St, Charles Hotel, Richmond, Va,, and well known all through tbe South, several years ago was in the death-agony from kidney disease, convulsions and Bright’s disease. The lioat Philadelphia specialists in such diseases pronounced him practically dead and incurable. Everything else failing, ho took Warner’s Sate Cure abundantly and regularly, until fully restored to health, and now he says, “After a lapse of many years I am as sound as a doUar, with no symptoms of my old trouble. I owe my lifo to Warners Safe Cure.” Kidney disease is the most deceptive, the most universal, the most fatal disease. If the most learned men cannot know without the use of microscopical and chemical tests that they have kidney disease, how much, more liable is the layman to be, unknown to himself, in the very jaws of death, who does not feel as well as formerly, but who does not think anything specially ails him, and whose physician may assure him that he will soon be “all right” In these days, people recognize that it is wiser to prevent disease than to await its arrival to cure it. When you know that you may be in the greatest peril and not have any idea of the fact from any defined set of ill-feelings, the wisest course to pursue is to follow the counsel and experience above outlined, and thoroughly reuovate the system, cleanse the blood, tone the nerves and insure your own life against these common, mysterious fatalities.

A Modern Proverb.

At the kindergarten: Teacher—- “ Johnny, do you remember the proverb I gave you yesterday ?” Johnny—“No’m. ” “Speech is silver and—what is it?” “I dunno, mom. ” “I know,” spoke up a little boy at the foot of the class. “Very well, you may recite it.” “Speech is silver, but money talks. ” —New York Evening Sun. Success secures the approbation of the world, for as the wise man says: “Men will praise thee when thou doest well for thyself.”

Housed from Inaction,

The precursor of their disease and destruction, the kidneys and bladder healthfully stimulated and toned with Hostetter's Stomach Bit. ters, actively resume their functions. Thus Bright’s disease, diabetes, catarrh of the bladder and eneuresis are prevented. For irritating diuretics, and those unmedicated and fiery stimulants which, used even in moderation, excite both the renal and vesical organs, this is the best possible substitute. It is of botanic composition, and so congenial to the stomaeh, the digestive processes of which it helps in no ordinary degree, that it is promptly assimilated by the system, and its tonic effects aro sneedily felt. Not only does it remedy inactivity of the kidneys, but renews a regular habit of body, promotes a due secretion and healthy flow of bile into the proper channels, and expws from the circulation the acrid principles productive of rheumatism and gout. It is also the leading specific for malarial complaints. In considering the value of condiments in the preparation of food authorities that may be considered reliable assert that red pepper and salt are especially valuable as aids to digestion as well as a stimulant to appetite. Herbs and spices are also good, and most of the condiments used in the preparation of salads promote digestion and assimilation of food.

An Offensive Breath

is most distressing, not only to the person afflicted if he have any pride, but tci those with whom he comes in contact It i» a, delicate matter to speak of, but it has parted not only friends but lovers. Bad breath and catarrh are inseparable. Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy cures the worst cases, as. thousands can testify. It is the dry-goods clerk who mostt frequently sales under salsa colors. — New Haven News. In 1850 “Brown's HbtMuehial Troches'* were introduced, and their success aa a euro for Colds, Coughs, Asthma, and Bronchitis, has been unparalleled. It requires a clever surgeon to dress wounded vanity. — Life. ROUGH ON,PILES. Quick, complete cure. 50c. BUCHU-EAIBA, Great Kidney Remedy. sl. WELLS’ HEALTH RENEWEK for weak men. WELLS’ HAIR BALSAM. If gray, gradually restoras color; elegant tonic dressing. 50c.