Democratic Sentinel, Volume 12, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 April 1888 — Not a Wretch. [ARTICLE]

Not a Wretch.

A haggard-looking tramp stopped at a house in Kentucky and called for the “landlord.” Old Major Bowles, a wellknown character in central Kentucky, stepped out on the gallery and in a rather ungentle voice demanded: “ W hat do you want here, sah ? ” “My dear sir,” said the tramp, taking off his tattered hat and bowing with a sort of meek despair, “you see me in hard luck.” “Damn your luck!” exclaimed the Major. “I can heartily indorse that sentiment,” replied the tramp, “but I am not here to indorse or to receive indorsement but to ask for something to sustain the body. lam starving.” “That’s not my fault, ” said the Major. “The world is pretty well filled with just such starving fellows as you are, but I have never heard of one of them dying. I don’t mind giving a a man a little something to eat, but I’ll be blowed if I intend to encourage your infernal laziness. Like all the rest of your tribe, I suppose that you claim to be quite a respectable fellow. ”

“Yes, sir.” “Of course. And I- reckon you once had money.” “Yes, sir.” “Of course. But you lost it on account of a rascally partner.” “No, sir.” “Stocks went down, then.” “No, -I had nothing to do with stocks.” “Well, then, the bank broke.” “I had nothing to do with banks.” “ Why, this is strange. Over-cropped yourself and there came a drouth.” “No, I had nothing to do with farming.” “Xs it possible!” said the Major, now keenly interested. “Oh, I see, you bought a steamboat.” “No.” “Saw-mill?” “No, sir.” “And yet you had money and lost it?” “Yes, sir.” “But how?” “I lost it playing poker.” u “What!” exclaimed the Major. K Why, my dear sir, you are not the rascal I took you lor. Why, you are a man of nerve and spirit. Come in, and help yourself to anything there is in the house.”— Arkansaw Traveler.