Democratic Sentinel, Volume 11, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 October 1887 — Short Legs Made Long. [ARTICLE]

Short Legs Made Long.

“Your son has grown up to be quite a handsome young man,” said an old fellow, addressing a friend. “\\ ell, no. You see the trouble with Bill is that his legs are too short. He started out With the fairest sort of promise, and at one time I had great hopes of his lending the luster of renown to my family by distinguishing himself as a base-ball player, but all of a sudden h s legs stopped growing. This seemed to give fresh impetus to the growth of his body, and the first thing we knew he was all out of proportion.” The two friends were sitting in the rotunda of a Southern hotel. The man who had asked * concerning his friend’s son pointed to the stairway and said: “There’s his chance.” “How? What do you mean?” “I mean that your son can reclaim his lost proportion. Listen a moment to a few statements of cold fact. There has never been anything discovered that exercises such an influence upon the length of the human leg as the position of bell-boy in a three-story hotel. I specify the three-story hotel, for it is not tall enough to warrant the use of an elevator. See that long-legged negro over there?” “Yes.” “Well, I knew him when his legs were so short that he couldn’t have straddled a duck. I actually saw him mounted on a horse one day and his legs stuck straight out.” “And did running up and down stairs lengthen his legs that way?” “Just as sure as you are born. They used to make him a pair of pants by cutting a scallop out of two pieces of cloth and sewing them together. Now, you see, his legs are so long and his body is so short that the only thing necessary to make him a pair of pants is to take two bags and stitch them together at the top. Now, you take your son to a three-storv hotel and get him a position as bell-boy, but you’ll have to watch him.” “Why so?” “You’ll have to measure him every day to see that his legs do not get too long. I knew a fellow who did that work so long that once wheD a man, after gazing at him in astonishment, asked him why he bore such a peculiar belt, he took off what was thought to be a belt and proved it to be his collar. Bring your son to this place. ”—Arkansaw Traveler.