Democratic Sentinel, Volume 11, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 March 1887 — HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR.

Black mail—Mourning envelopes. Subject to appeal—The church belL A tbying question —How do they fit? Always a Teuton—A German bandmaster. A gbouxd swell —A successful dealer in real estate. The most popular “tenner” is the ten-dollar gold piece. It’s quite natural that a boy should blubber when he is whaled. Eabthquake shocks reminds us that we all of us have to live on a crust. “Are you and Miss Smith engaged?” inquired a young man of his chum. “Report says so.” “Well, she sent me a true lover’s knot.” “Ah! that looks like business.” “Y-e-s, but she spelled it without a ‘k’.”— Detroit Free Pres*. Tom —“ You have never met my wife, Bob. Permit me.” Bob—“Ah, yes—pleased, I assure you. Know you well, though, very well.” The Bride—“ Sir!” Bob—“ Tom has shown me lots of letters from his dear Lizzie.” The Bride —“Sir! My name is Amelia!” “Where did you come from?” asked a Dallas man of a neighbor. “I am just in from the fair grounds.” “Have the judges of live-stock awarded the prize to the biggest jack?” “They have.” “Did my uncle or my father get it?” “Neither of them. A strange donkey from eastern Texas got the prize.”— Texet'S Siftings. “You are taking cold,” said Fred to the cashier, as that young gentleman burst into a spasmodic sneeze. “How do you do it?” “You see lam exposed a good deal at this time of year.” “You don’t go out much, it seems to me.” “Perhaps not, but we are getting a good many heavy drafts through the mails now.”— Chi':ago Ledger. A youthful traveler on the Baltitimore and Ohio Road was curious to know the meaning of certain sign-posts along the track. “Conductor,” asked he, “what does W. and R. mean?” “Why, ring and whistle,” was the reply. There was silence for some time, when the young man observed: “I can see well enough how W. stands for wring, but I’m blessed if I can see how B. stands for whistle. ” — Harper’s Bazar. [ “But, father,” she protested, as the old man ceased speaking, “you do not seem to understand the case.” “Oh, but I do. You shall never marry William, even if he is my confidential clerk.” “Father, you ” “That is all, Helen—say no more.” Four days later she wrote him from Toronto, saying: “Will and I arrived here safely, and were married at once. We have $60,000 of your money. Is all forgiven, or shall we settle down here ?” He telegraphed his forgiveness— Wall Street Neius.