Democratic Sentinel, Volume 11, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 March 1887 — HIGGLES AND THE ALLIGATOR. [ARTICLE]

HIGGLES AND THE ALLIGATOR.

BY JOEL SLOPER.

Diggles and Folsby are brothers-in-law who live in the same brown-stone front up on Madison avenue, in New York, and are rather fond of playing practical jokes on each other. Folsby rather got the best of the fun last week. Having seen a toy alligator which automatically ran around on top of a table, Folsby conceived the idea of having a stuffed specimen of the saurian family rigged with a strong coiled spring and wheels, so that, being wound up, it would rush around a room in a circle with force enough sufficient to upset chairs in its path. When it was all ready Folsby had it quietly conveyed into the house one night through the back gate, and when he heard Diggles snore in the next room he proceeded to wind up the alligator and have a little fun. Diggles and Mrs. Diggles usually slept with the door of their room unlocked. They also left the gas burning low nights, both of which customs facilitated the fun which Folsby proposed. So, with the stuffed saurian wound up to run about ten minutes, he carried it in his arms to Diggles’ room, and, quietly pushing open the door, put the alligator on the floor; and it seemed to know ju6t what was expected of it, judging from the way it went round that room and upset chairs and other light furniture. Of course Diggles and Mrs. Diggles awoke. That is what Folsby expected of them, “Mercy on us!” screamed Mrs. Diggles. “What is it?” “Get out!” yelled Diggles, waking up and jumping out of bed just as the alligator came rushing over his big toe. “Great heavens, Mariar, it’s an alligator!” he shouted, as he could see its outlines in the dim gas light, and he gave a jump on the bed which broke through the slats and landed both him and Mrs. Diggles on the solid floor. It will never be known to history which of the two climbed up first on the tall, ornamental headboard of the bedstead, but Folsby thinks he recognized the big, staring eyes of Diggles np there about one-third of a second before he could see those of Mrs. D. at the same elevation. Diggles then began to call for Folsby, who, leaving his post of observation at the crack of the door, silently glided up stairs and then noisily came lumbering down. “What’s the matter, Diggles?” asked Folsby. “There’s an alligator in the room. Look out for it,” yelled Diggles from his secure position astride the headboard. “A horrid alligator!” screamed Mrs. Diggles, nestling closer to Diggles up near the ceiling. The automatic saurian had stuck its nose against the bureau, from which position it could not move, and Folsby, taking Diggles’ ivory-handled cane, pulled its nose clear of the obstruclion and rushed out of the room, leaving Diggles and Mrs. D. to their fate, as it again began a wild and hungry race arouud the room. Of course, Diggles knew it was after him, and Mrs. Digglt s declared that its horrid eyes were looking right at hers. “I guess I’ll take it up-stairs now,” said Folsby, as ho tucked it under his arm and walked out, leaving Diggles speechless for a few moments; and then for the remainder of the night he walked the hall floor in front of Folsby’s room with his breech- • loading shot-gun, waiting to get a pop at Folsby.

At the time •when Count Julius Andrassy was Minister of Foreign Affairs he strongly objected to holding long interviews with the Ambassadors and Envoys. One day the English Ambassador was announced. Count Julius did not want to see him. “Tell the gentleman,” he said to his valet, “that I am busy dressing.” The English nobleman took his departure. The next day he met Count Andrassy in the street. The Minister was now as amiable as could be; but the Ambassador was the reverse of communicative. After a few trite observations, his lordship said: “My dear Count, you hardly did the correct thing yesterday. You must be good enough to receive my visits, for I come to you not merely as Lord X , but as the representative of the Queen of England.” Count Andrassy replied: “My dear Lord, just think; I could not receive the Queen in my shirt!” This explanation quite satisfied the offended Englishman.— The Argonaut. All doctors recommend people to go to sleep lying on the right* side. This is all the better if you are a little deaf in the left ear and don’t get homo till late. I