Democratic Sentinel, Volume 11, Number 6, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 March 1887 — HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR.

An old score —four-score. Often in very poor spirits—the cork. Artists’ jokes are always paletteable. It, is nicer to see than feel a lady’s cuff. When is a newspaper the sharpest? When it is filed. A woman can sharpen a pencil, but she requires leisure.— Journal of Education. Woman first invented sin, and she is responsible for most of the improvements since.— Life. T :e rain falls upon the just and the unjust, and also upon the borrowed umbrella. — New Orleans Picayune. ThE devil waits at the church door for those who keep him company the balance of the week.— Whitehall Times. An elderly minister at a social party where the young people were dan - ng, being asked if he danced, replied: “No, I am not educated on that end.” The Phrenological Journal says: “In choosing a wife, be goverened by her chin.” A man is apt to be governed by the same thing after he gets a wife. “Well, old fellow, it’s all settled. I am going to be married in two months. You will be one of the witnesses, I hope.” “Count upon me. I never desert a friend in misfortune.” First worshiper—“ Why ate you wearing those big thick ear-muffs, Smith? it isn’t cold.” Second worshiper—“l am going to church.” “So am I; but what of that?” “We have dis charged our choir and are going to have congregational singing to-day.”— Tkl-Bits.

“How HiDEot s Miss Elakely looks in that new bonnet.” “I thought it was very becoming. At least the trimming was very appropriate.” “I didn’t notice the trimming.” “The bonnet waa trimmed with ivy lea es. ” “Ivy is very appropriate. It only clings to old ruins.”— Texas Sifi ing 's. A KOXDEL. She said : “Don’t! Stop !” How coulcj I know The nicer shades of prosody? I soon lorgot—her eyes - hone so— Where punctuating points should bo. The distant band throbbed tenderly ; The lights were dim; her tones were low— She said: “Don’t! Stop!" How could, I know The nicer shades of prosody? Soon ecphoneme and comma flee; From far off where the v. alt/.ers go. The periumed notes swell to and froHer sweet, red lips were close to me— She said; “Don’t! Stop!’’ How could I know The nicer shades of prosody? Hasp. My friend Judge Walker, of Mississippi, once reprimanded a culprit for pleading guilty on a second appearanea. for a similar offense in the following terms: “What do you mean, sail? I reco’nize you as bein’ befoali this yerp Court a year' ago, sah, and pleadin* guilty then, sah. i ut, I gannv, you cant play tliat game twicet on this yore Court. I’m a-gwino to try you, sah, and ’zandine the witnesses, kalj, and find out, sah, whether you’rq guilty or not.”— Southern Bivouac .