Democratic Sentinel, Volume 10, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 January 1887 — WIT AND HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

WIT AND HUMOR.

The Philadelphia vs the other day headed a department “What Philadelphia Editors Tit ink. ” It occupied oneeighth of a column.— Puck. Young wife—“ John, mother says she wants to be cremated.” Young husband —“Tell her if she'li get on her things I'll take her down this morning.”— Tid- j Bits. A little urchin asked his mother a difficult question and got the answer: “I don't know “Well.” said he. “I think mother rni~ht to know. They ought to be well eu ; .. .1 or else have an encyclopedia.” n I! cor dr. ; i • fie • ig naval Of;:,: ) “I . g -iljps ot y',uc at ; tii 717 ~:t. Hineeure, are htful?” Lieut. Sinecure—- . The cost of gold braid -omething fearful.” — N. Y bun. . Jim Bullard bangin’ ’round these nowadays?” asked a passengei* t: tut a car window of a iHkota citizen. “Jim was bangin’ 'roee l last week, stranger.” “Did you s o him?” “O, yes: I had hold of the rope.”— N. Y. Bun. “Mother, what is‘an angel?” “My dear, it is a little girl with wings win? flies.” “But I heard papa telling the governess yesterday she was an angel. Will she fly?” “Yes, my dear, she will fly away the first thing to-morrow.” Vanity Fair. A young lady cashier in a St. Louis dry-goods house tried to get away with $3,000 by hiding it in her bustle—a plan not open to gentleman cashiers for obvious reasons. She probably wished to have a good financial backing. — N. Y. Tribune. o A o*ever aiuhu) gm wuv wa.o »«. Ridgefield the other night was asked whal her sensations were when she shot down the toboggan chute for the first time. “It was delightful,” she exclaimed enthusiastically; “I thought I was dying.” —Albany Journal. “They say Mark Twain is worth a great deal of money,” remarked a casual caller yesterday. “Yes,” replied the horse editor. “Mark always has an eye to the dollar.” “That is to say,” chipped in the snake editor, “Twain is a sort of a dollar Mark.” —Pittsburg Chronicle. Scene, Paris. Time, three weeks ago. “Very stupid here this winter, eh, old fellow?” “Deucedly. Let’s do something to have some fun—a circus; anything, you know.” “All right. Say we get up a party and go to New York to take in the French ball.” — Philadelphia News. Mrs. Southwortli, the woman suffragist, says: “Men are constantly becoming more like women. They don't fight now when they get mad at each other.” Sometimes they don’t, but then they do not generally get revenge by accusing their enemy of wearing a hist season's hat. —Savannah (Go.) News.

The U-f of Snakes. - Pei pons who di.siik ft snake# euntiaiiaHy ask. “What is the iso of ihern?". ..... That thev are no without use will. T i pe. appear in th'' course of this work were i uecee ai> to pr a h :!.at a. ! l t incrhave heir use. jßut in one habit Unit offended Lon! IL; •«in -j., ady of - *£o ing on thi ir belly"one of ilieir greatest uses. I neaup- that, together with their iut rnuJ fotumiimi and “x ternal covering. tumbles 'lietn to penurate where no huger cntni veru'ib animal cotild venture, in'o dark and noise.some tuftrassss,- bog jungles, swamps amid th'- vegetation of the ropics. where swarms the lesser reptiles on which so many of them feed, wou'd otheiwise outbalance the harmony of n.i'ure, die and praduce pastilen.e. Wond ousiy and exqui dtely constructeJ for their habit, th- yarn able to exist where the higher uni male could not, and w lie they help to clear those inaccessible places of the lesser vermin, tney themselves supply food for a number of smaller mammalia which, with many carnlvermis birds, devour vast-numbers of young snakes The hedge hog. weasel, ichneumon ra , peccary, hog, goat, and au irn mer.se niuubi r of bi-ds L<'< p simkeb within due limbs whi.e ilu- latt r perform the : r pail among 'he rrain de vouritter di.il h»rofvor< us u s-> l creatures. thus b--,u; im ly S lue bii -nee of uatorc maiuiaint-u. Nev, Orleans Picayune. Our readers should nos overlook the advertisement of Mrs. Frank Leslie which appears in this paper. The proprietor £ this well-known and enterprising publishing house offers a splendid statuette of Bartholdi's “Liberty/’ free of chaige, to every subscriber t the Illustrated Newspaper or the Popular Monthly, or for two subscriptions to the Sunday Magazine.— Each of these publications- Live hosts of old readers and friends in all parts of the country, who do not need to be told that t ey are among the very best -issued. The statuette is an exact fai -simile of the colossal figure in New York Harbor, of the same material; and is an exceedingly pretty and effective parlor nr mantel ornament, - “not for a day, but for alt time.” Mrs. Leslie with her usual enterprise, has secured absolute control, for premium purposes, of the statuette, and it will be offered by no other publisher, The Frank Leslie Publications are all of a high order of excellence, and enjoy -welldeserved n ’.ilarity.

Peterson’B Magazine for .Janu-! ary—the “queen of tha lady's books,” as it has l>een called- excels even itself. The beauty of its embellishment and the high character of its original sto T > ; are beyond all praise. “Is the Squire In?” the leading steel-plate, is one of the very best we have r seen; and “First Grief,” another steel-1 plate, is almost as good, if not) quite. The colored design for] painting on silk or satiy, - r to be ] worked in embroidery, would cos* j at a retail store fifty cents, vc t is! furnished gratis to subscriber., for J “Peterson” as a New Year gift.— i The fashion-plate is doubL size, engraved on steel, and colored ;y hand. “Oh, how lovely!*’ .every woman will exc 1 dm on seeing it. The high character of “1 o- erson” | f*>its stories is more than maintained, in t is 'Timber. Mrs. I ranees 1 bxlgson I? ;rnetr, Sirs. Ann S. Stephens, Edgar Fawcett., Frank Leo Benedict, and the inimitable author of “Josiah Allen’s Wife’" being among the contributors. In addition there is an unusually interesting article. illustrated, on‘The Homes of American oats.’ More than fifty wood-cuts of fashion, patterns in embr- idi y, ■•<•••., rre i also given. All this for only Two Dollars a year, with great deductions to clubs. Thus, four copies are sent for six dollars and forty cents, and an extra copy for getting up the club For .’arger clubs, there are still greater premiums. Certainly, every lady, at least of refinement, should take this magazine. Subscribe or join a club at once. Specimens will be sent, gra tis, to those wishing te get up clubs Address Charles J. Peterson ; 306 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia Pa.