Democratic Sentinel, Volume 10, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 November 1886 — A Reminiscence of Artemus Ward. [ARTICLE]

A Reminiscence of Artemus Ward.

I shall never forget the last time l saw Artemus Ward. We were in London,' my husband and myself, and learning from a friend that our Yankee humorist was to lecture one night in Egyptian Hall we determined to be among his hearers. I had heard him several times in America, and was anxious to see how an English audience would respond to his New World drollery, his unequaled humor. It was with the hope that we might meet him and hav6 a little chat together that we went quite early, but tbough we were among the first, who gathered there that night he was no® whose to be seen till the lecture commenced ,

The people came in In a stiaggling fashion and occupied the froot seats and those in the bod 5 of the house. The hall was little more than half full. I remember the light seemed dim, the distaces dark and solemn and the architecture dismal in the extreme. The hall was like a huge tomb built foi the reception of dead and gone Pharaohs. On a settee not far from our party five t entlemen sat together. I fanoied they were cler* gymen and had come with the avow* ed in ten. ion of sitting out the exarcises in grave and digDifled silenceWhen Artemus made bis appearanoe it was pitiful to see the ravages di ease had made in one short year. His face was thin and pallid his hollow eyes glistened with a light inexpressibly painful, and held that strange expression peenttar to consumptives, as on#looking outside the worid. Even as he spoke he oaught

his breath, evidently in pain, and pressed his hand to his side. My husband turned to me with the brief sentence: “The mao is dviDgl” and so he was. With ore expressive glance about the place, scanning celling, lights, shadows aud semi darkness, the man took a step forward and commenced in his usual halting sper jh and assumed timidity of manner: “When the Egyptians—built this hall—the principles of acoustics were not fully understood—neither, it is presumable, had the matter of ventilation been very extensively—ventilated. ” There was a smile on the faces of many, but nothing more—aud yet the humor of the thing was exquisite. I could not keep ra" eyes from the five clergymen, who sat shoulder to shoulder, like so manv sleek, sofc-cOated 3eala. Not a tremor betrayed that they were conscious of muscles—their faces w-re stern, their lips compressed, their brows unbending. Their stolidity possessed a fascination for me that even Artemus Ward’s inimitable personation could not shake off. Again and agaiu his odd jlfaneles pro*» voked from our party both laughter ard tears, but still that clerical conclave sat it out, and did not even smile. Could it possibly be that they were oblivious to the subtle wir of his burlesque, the rare chan es in his face? Prest ntly the moon appeared in his comical little panorama, wavered, trembled like a boat struck by a sudden sqaall, and then hung as if suspended, limp and motionless, on some luDar hook, midway between sea and sky. Art< mua looked quizzically over to tnose five clergymen. lithink he had seen hem ail the time out of the corners of his eyes.

“If you will excuse me, gentlemen ” he said, impressively, “I will go out and see to my moon. I think the moonist, a small boy, a fat boy b\ the way, an Englisn lad, who is to Dightly manage my cMestial apparatus, has got cranky or gone to sleep —possibly it may be because *he »ut> dleuce is so small to night—tho gh appreciative” —here a long pause—“that he Is afraid I shall cut nimshort two and sixpence;” and with that he went behind the scenes, perhaps, poor fellow, to get a moment’s respite from pain and to catch his breath, for he was panting with the exertion of talking, even then. There was evidently an effort on the part of the five to keep from smiling during this speech, and while Artemus was gone the moon righted itself with a tremendous effort, and glared in such a unique fashion that first one and finally all my five stocks and stones, as 1 bad mentally denominated th‘ m, relapsed into audible laughter, and their white chokers began to wrinkle. Artemus came back, glanced at tho side seats and sa v that the ice was broken. It was what he had been w.iitiag and working for, and it seemed . hat the triumph gave him new life. From that moment those five men were slaves of his humoz. They laughed till they cried, and most certainly the brilliant showman outdid himself. Every movement, ev*ry glance, Jprovoted peals of daughter. It was as it having put restraint upon themselves so long tney were eager to make up it, I was satisfied. The gifted ?on of America was at last appreciated. aDd though the applause came late, it did oome, and Artemus War \ w>jnt 1 ome happy. Some few days after that a friend called to see the humorist. He was sick and almost speechless, yet managed to repeat some witicism about his sands of life terminating on a sand-bar. and spoke regretfully of never expecting to see bis native land again. He never aid—the next day he was dead.

MARY A. DENISON.

The Ladies’ Literary Society has engaged Mr. Geo. F. Bass, of Indianapolis, to deliver liis lecture, “Humor and Humorists,” in Rensselaer, on the evening of Tha ksgivingDay. Speaking of the lecturer and his subject, Prof. Cathcartsays: Mr. Bass is more like Mark Twain than Mark Twain is himself—that is to say he beats Mark Twain at his own game. Prof. R . Q. Boone says; Mr. Bass is the Hoosier Burdette. His terse and vigorous style commend his lectures to teachers and the general public. S. F. Spohn says: The lecture on Humor and Humorists was one of the most successful lectures ever given before the teaoli v rs of Elkhart county. The large hall of the Coliseum building was packed and many were turned away for want oi accommodations. The lecturer kept his andience convulsed with laughter from first to last. South Bend Tribune: The lecture on Humor and Humorists caused more side-splitting to the square inch than any other ever given in this county. Imitations of Twain, Nye and liiley were greatly enjoyed. Let Rensselaer and vicinity give him a full house.

The Ladies’ Industrial Society of the Presbyterian Church will prepare a dinner and supper on Thursday, December 9th next, to which tney invite the patronage o £ the public. Thursday of next week has been designated by the President to be observed as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise. Union Thanksgiving services at the Presbyterian church Thursday of next week at 10:30 a. m. Gen. Vanßensselaer placed money in the hands of a friend at this place with directions to apply it to deserving charities on Thanksgiving Day. ■ ■»—"-I ■ I Nntice.— Prohibitionists, anti all other persons who expect to work with us in the future, are cordially invited to meet at the Court House, in Rensselaer, on Haturda/, December 4th, 1886, for consultation. H. I. Adams, Ch’n Pro. Cen. Com. Jasper Co., Ind. - ■■ On Thursday next —Thanksgiving Day—the Post Office in Bensselaer will be open from 8 to 9 o’clock a. m., and from 4 to 5 o’clock p. m.