Democratic Sentinel, Volume 10, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 November 1886 — Hadn't Eaten Anything. [ARTICLE]

Hadn't Eaten Anything.

A negro, in great pain, sent for a phvs’eian. The doctor, upon arriving, asked: “Have you been eating anything calculated to hurt you?” “Oh, no, sail, not er tall.” “Any fruit?” “No, sail, not er tall.” “Well, tell me what you did yesterday?” “Wall, sah, yistidy mornin’ I went down ter nier daughter ’Tildy’s house. She wan’t at home, an’ I sot down ter wait fur her. Wh le lookin’ er roun’ I seed er big watermilon in er tub o’ water, an’ 1 tuck it out an’ eat it. Den, ,ez ’Tildv d dn’t come I went ober ter Unk Ab Moore’s house. Da wuz eat n watermilon an’ I lined in. Alter dis, I went down ter do < otton w’«r house. Foun’ er ha’f er watermilon on er box, an’ ez it ’peered ter be sufferin' I eat it. I come home ’bout dis time, but ez I didn’t hab no appertite fur dinner I went out an’ got me er watermilon. Erbont er hour nr ter d's I went ober ter Unk Bill Gray’s an’ he p em eat some watermilon. Dat’s erbout all. No, sah, didn’t eat nutliin’ ter hurt me, lessen it wuz er couple er mush milons dat I eat las’ night. Hole on er minit. Lemme see. Oh, yas, I did eat erbout er do'en years o’ b’iled co’n an’ erbout er hafer peck o’ peaches.” —Arkansaw Traveler. A Hopeless Case. The younger brother who will yell “Rats” just as his sister has got comfortably settled in a hammock vis-a-vis with her best young man on a garden chair, pins his faith in the resulting effect on feminine inability to reason out her security from her situation, and he is rarely disappointed —until his mother gets hold of him, at least.— Somerville Journal .