Democratic Sentinel, Volume 10, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 October 1886 — Couldn’t Sell One. [ARTICLE]

Couldn’t Sell One.

A tall, thin man drove up to the house of a Dakota farmer and said: “Want a lightning rod on your house ?” “No, guess not.” “Hev?” “No:” “Don’t want one of my own patent duplex seven-pointecl lightning arresters run up?” “Don’t believe I do.” “Sure of it?” “Yes.” “Wouldn’t want my improved angular two-current connected electric exhilarators either, I suppose?” “No.” “Couldn’t touch you on a combination theoretical jerkem, warranted to draw the lightning from the most obstinate cloud and pass it to the ground quietly without disturbing the sleep of a child or injuring the most delicate fabric?” “No use for one.” “So it begins to look. You don’t seem to care whether the everlasting foundation is ripped out of your house by a stroke of the dread monster lightning, or whether you buy one of my electric annihilators at cost price and enjoy absolute safety. “No, don t believe I do.” “I see. Now, if you’ll direct me to the house of some local oiliceholder who has appropriated some of the county funds, I’ll see if I can’t make a sale. They don’t generally take as many chances as other people.”—Estelline Bell.