Democratic Sentinel, Volume 10, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 September 1886 — MR. BILKINS’ SPECIMEN. [ARTICLE]

MR. BILKINS’ SPECIMEN.

His aste for Natural History—A New Accession—What He Di I Not Get. Mr. Eiikins has of late developed a taste for natural history, and Las procured quite a number of specimens which would give an old toper the j.mjams to look at. He has toads pickled and preserved, toads with horns and without, spiders of many kinds and varying degrees of ugliness and size, from quite small and only ordinarily ugly to very large and extremely hideous. He has birds and bats, "small owls and big owls, frogs, polywogs, wood-chucks and even the h ghly concentrated skunk; but his greatest pride is in a particula ly disagreeable and remarkably nasty collection of snakes. Not satisfied with the native and comparatively harmless kind, he has been to the expense of importing various specimens of surpassing ugliness and poisonousness. The most of the collect on have been pickled or stuffed, so that the observer doesn’t rufi the risk of having a choice assortment of deadly virus injected into any exposed portion of his anatomy to the detriment of bodily and mental comfort; but in order to study the habits of two or three of the most villainous of the lot Mr. Lilkins has thus far, or to quite a recent date, spared their miserable existence. I should as soon think of sparing the most villainous specimen of the murderer to observe his habits as to study the habits of the meanest reptile in creation, but then, as an old woman once said, “The e is just as much difference in some people as there is in anybody.” A few days ago Mr. Bilkins received by express from the South a sturdy specimen of the whip snake (which fights at short range and with most disastrous results) with which he was highly delighted, and stowed him away under a glass case in a corner of his library, as he had no place in his cabinet in which he could put him just then. Mr. Bilkins studied this elegant poison-bag with the keenest del ght, and dilated upon his beautiful (?) points much as he would upon those of a fine horse, to the disgust of Mrs. Bilkins, who hasn’t a taste for science and doesn’t like to take snake with her dinner or tea, or be edified (?) between whiles.

The other evening, as Bilkins was on the point of retiring, he heard a crash in the direction of the library, and he hastened thither, clad only in the garments nature provides for us all and a night robe. As he opened the library door a gust of wind put out his light, and taking one step within "lie stepped upon something cold, and at the same instant he experienced a sharp sting in the bottom of his foot. It dashed upon him in a moment that some accident had upset his snake and he had stepped upon it and been bitten. Ho jumped back from the room, closed the door, and rent the air with his cries, which soon brought the whole family to the spot. “Telephone for a doctor without a moment’s delay,” was his first direction. “Give me the whisky bottle from the closet,” was the next. His eldest son soon had the doctor, and Mrs. B. presented the whisky, which the frenzied Bilkins seized and drank to the last drop, after which, considering himself reasonably secure against the effects of the bite, he directed his son to procure something and open the door, and, if possible, kill the reptile before other mischief was done. The boy had an old army cutlass among his treasures which he procured, and opening the door carefully looked in, and after a hasty look, an expression of astonishment passed over his face and he doubled up with suppressed laughter. “What in the name of all that’s good,” exclaimed Bilkins, “are you stopping to laugh at, you young idiot ?” For answer the boy pointed to the library floor, where laid a ladies’ riding whip with a flexible rubber handle to which was attached a strap and buckle to attach it to the arm. 1 ilkins had stepped on the buckle and run the teeth into his foot. The snake was still safe in his jar and the noise had been caused by a flapping blind. When the doctor arrived he didn’t see 1 ilkins, but he heard him swear very distinctly three blocks away, and those neighbors who were up say he hasn’t put forth his soul in such energetic and hearty a manner before since his interview with the assessors some moons ago.— Somerville Journal.