Democratic Sentinel, Volume 10, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 June 1886 — HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR.

A man may have no ear for music, yet have a mind to play. The spring-time of life—when you discover a bent pin under you. A very plain and plainly dressed girl may cut a swell. All that is necessary is to refuse to recognize him.— Boston Courier. Employer: “Don’t you see what’s on the door?” Pat: “A bit of paper, sur.” Employer: “It says, ‘Please shut the door.’” Pat: “Faitb, I didn’t hear it, sur.” Customer in restaurant: “Waiter, this chicken soup has feathers ia it ” Waiter: “Yes, sah. If vo’ want soup made outer chickens dat am old ’nough to be bald, sah, vo’ll have to go to some odder establishment.” A correspondent wants to know if it is proper to urge a young lady to sing at an evening gathermg after she has refused once. It is proper to urge a little, but not too much, least she should change her mind.

So witty a compliment is rarely made es that of Sidney Smith to his friends, Mrs. Tighe and Mrs. Cuffe: “Ah! there you are—the cuff that every one would be glad to wear, and the tie that no one would lose.” WHAT IS THE USE? Whv should we fret, why should we sigh, Wh it is the ua9 of repining? Every dark cloud that conies into our sky Is a cloud with, a silver lining. —Boston Courier. One of the most characteristic stories told about Mr. W. E. Forster turns ou his whist-playing. Mr. Payn, the novelist, is an enthusiastic whist-player, while Mr. Forster only “joined in” when some one was wanted to make up a rubber. On one occasion they were partners, and Mr. Forster was playing execrably. For a time Mr. Payn kept his temper, as in the circumstances good players find it hard to do; but at last he broke down and looked things unutterable. His partner saw what was wrong, and came to Mr. Payn’s rescue. “Say anything you like,” he said, genially; “if you think it would relieve you, call mo Buckshot!”— St. James’ Gazette. » INCONSTANCY. The soft, inconstant, plashing rain Beats warmly ou tlis window pane, Then ceases altogether. The jealous clouds oppose in vain; The sun shines brightly out again— And that is April weather. With such a gush of sudden tears, A young, romantic maiden hears Her pa dismiss poor Harry. But soon the cloudy weather clears. She smiles again, when there appears A richer man to marry. —Somerville Journal. Some papers are criticising the President because in a recent message he used the phrase “innocuous desuetude. ” We do not think this is fair. If Mr. Cleveland wants to turn clear back to the hind part of the dictionary and take out a pair of such words ft isn’t any one’s business. There is no proof that he skipped any of the book in bunting them up; doubtless he has studied it all the way through till he came to them. We have ourself explored back in that part of the book to a certain extent and can say that the President might have done much worse. In the comparatively unsettled territorial portions of Webster’s dictionary, chiefly used as stock ranges for the elephas Indicus, the chrysochloris capensis, and the thin and hardy pterodactyl, there are words which it would have been much more difficult for a large man like him to have caught and halter broken than “innocuous desuetude,” and also ones which would have had a much worse effect on the Senate. Let the President continue his great camp hunt among the fastnesses of the English language undisturbed. —Estelline Bell.