Democratic Sentinel, Volume 10, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 May 1886 — DARBY DONAN. [ARTICLE]

DARBY DONAN.

How He Was Made An April Fool. “Good luck to you now Darby, and don’t return until vou come back a gentleman or a fool.” The above salute was uttered by good natured Darby Donan’s mother as she brushed him off and started him- for Dublin. Molly Donan, as she was called by her neighbors, was very proud of her son Darby, and Darby was a very useless specimen of humanity; he was withal very generous and always wishing to be a great man, yet never would do anything that would make him great, if we except that he constantly roamed over the green fields of his native parish, prayed and wished that he might by some agency, spiritual or human, reach the acme of his ambition, which was to marry a “great” lady. One day he heard the people talking of a great lord that lived up in Dublin, who had a daughter so handsome that her like was never seen, and all the fine young gentlemen were dying about her, but she would not take any of them. And he came home to his mother, and said: “I shall go see -this great lord's daughter. Maybe the luck will be mine above all those fine young gentlemen tiiat love her.” “Go along, poor fool,” said the mother: “how can the poor stand before the rich?” But he persisted. “If I die on the road,” he said, “I’ll try it.” As he started off to get the “great lady,” his mother gave him the good luck salute noted at the opening of this story. He hadn't gone far when he met a poor man who asked him for a trifle for God’s sake. So he gave him something out of the trifle of money his mother gave him, and went on. Again, another met him, and begged a trilie, to buy food for the sake of God, and he, gave him something also, and then went on. “Give me a trifle for God's sake,” cried a voice, and he saw a third poor man before him. “I have nothing left,” said Darby, “but a few pence. If I give them, I shall have nothing for food and must die • of hunger. But come with me, and whatever I can buy with this I will share with you.” And as they were going on to the inn, he told all his story to the beggar man, and how he wanted to go to Dublin, but he had now no money. So they came to the inn, and he called for a loaf and a drink of milk. “Cut the loaf,” he said to the beggar, “you are the, oldest.” “I won’t,” said the other, for he was ashamed; but Darby made him. And so the b ggar cut the loaf, but' though they ate, it never grew smaller, and though they drank as they liked of the milk, it never grew less. “Now,” said the beggar-man, “you have three times been good to me today, for thrice I have met you and you gave me help for the sake of God each time. See, now I can help you also,” and he gave a gold ring to Darby. “Wherever you place that ring, and wish for it, gold will come—bright gold—so that you can never want while you have it.” Then Darby put the ring first in one pocket and then in another, until all his pockets were so heavy with gold that he could scarcely walk; but when he turned to thank the friendly beggar he had disappeared. So, wondering to himself at all his adventures, he went on until he came at last in sight of the lord’s palace which was beautiful to see. He went and bought fine clothes, and made himself as grand as any prince; and then he went boldly up, and they invited him in, for they said: “Surely, he is a king’s son.” And when dinner hour came, the lord’s daughter linked her arm with Darby and smiled on him. And he drank of the rich wine, and was mad with love; but, at last the wine overcame him, and the servants had to cariy him to his bed; and in going into the room, he dropped the ring from his finder, but knew it not. Now, in the morning, the lord’s daughter came by and cast her eyes upon the door of the chamber, and there close by it was the ring she had seen him wear. “Ah,” she said, “I’ll tease him now about his ring.” But when Darby awoke and missed it, his heart was grieved. “Now, indeed,” he said, “my luck is gone.” And he inquired of all the servants, and of the lord’s daughter; and she laughed, by which he knew she had it; but no coaxing would get it from her. So when all was useless he went away, and set out again to reach his old home. And he was very mournful, and threw himself down on the ferns near an old fort, waiting till night came on; for he feared to go home in the daylight, lest the people should laurii at him for his folly. And about dusk three cats came out of the fort talking to each other. “How long our cook is away,” said one. “What could have happened to him?” said another. And as they were grumbling a fourth ■cat came up. “What delayed you?” they all asked -angrily. Then he told his story —how he had met Darby and given him the ring. “And I just went,” he said, “to the lord’s palace to see how the young man behaved; and I was leaping over the dinner-table when the lord's knife struck my tail, and three drops of blood fell -upon his plate, but he never saw it, and swallowed them with his meat So now he has three kittens inside of him, and is dying of agony, and can never be cured until he drinks three draughts of the water of the Baptist well.” So when Darby heard the cats talk, he sprang up, and went and got three bottles full of the water of Baptist welt 4So off he went to Dublin. And all the doctors in Ireland were around the lord.

out none or tnem coma ten wnai aueu him or how to cure him. Then Darby came in and said: “1 will cure him.” So they gave him entertainment and lodging, and when he was refreshed he gave of the well water three draughts tc his lordship, when out jumped the three kittens. And there was great rejoicing, and they treated Darby like a prince. But all the same he could not get the ring from the lord’s daughter. So he set off home again quite disheartened, and thought to himself “if I could only meet with the man again that gave me the ring, who knows what luck I might have?” And he sat down to rest in the wood, and saw there, not far off, three boys fighting under an oak tree. “Shame on ye to fie’’t so,” he said. “What is the fight ab ni Then they told hi.. . father,” they said, “before he die I under this oak tree a ring byv.. r:- '.can be in any place in two min, ' you only wish it; a goblet that is always full when standing and empty only when on its side; and a harp that plays any tune of itself that you name or wish for.” “I want to divide the things,” said the youngest boy, “and let us go and seek our fortune as we can.” “But I have a right to the whole,” said the eldest. And they went on fighting, till at length Darby said: “I’ll tell you how to settle the matter. All of you be here to-morrow, and I’ll think over the matter to-night, and I’ll engage you will have nothing more to quarrel about when you come in the morning.” So the boys promised to keep good friends till they met in the morning, and went away. When Darby saw them clear off he dug up the ring, the goblet and the harp; and in two minutes he was in the great hall where the lords and ladies were just sitting down to dinner; and the harp played the sweetest music, and they were all delighted; and he drank out of the goblet, which was never empty, and then when his head began to grow a little light, “it is enough,” he said, and putting his arm around the waist of the lord's daughter he took his harp and goblet in the other hand and murmuring—“l wish we were at the old fort the side of the wopd”—in two minutes they were both at the desired spot. But his head was heavy with the wine, and he laid down the harp beside him and fell asleep. And when she saw him asleep she took the ring off his finger, and the harp and goblet from the ground and was back' home in her father’s castle before two minutes passed by. When Darby awoke and found his prize gone, he was mad, indeed, and roamed about the country till he came to an orchard, where he saw a tree covered with bright rosy apples. Being hungry and thirsty he plucked one anti ate it, but no sooner had he done so than horns began to sprout from his forehead, and grew larger and longer till he knew he looked like a goat, and all he could do they would not come off. Now, .indeed, he was driven out of his mind; and thought how all the neighbors would laugh at him, and as he roared and raged with shame, he spied another tree with apples, still brighter, of ruddy gold. “If I were to have fifty pairs of horns I must have one of those,” he said, and seizing one, he had no sooner tasted it than the horns fell off, and he felt that he was looking stronger and handsomer than ever. “Now I have her at last,” he exclaimed. “I will put horns on them all, and will never take them off until they give her to me as my bride before the whole court.” Without further delay he set off to the lord’s palace, carrying with him as many of the apples as he could'bring off the two trees. And when they saw the beauty of the fruit they longed for it, and he gave them to all, so that at last there was not a head to be seen without horns in the whole dining room. Then they cried out and prayed to have the horns taken off, but Darby said: “No; there they shall be until I have the lord’s daughter given to me for my bride, and my two rings, and my goblet, and my harp all restored to me.” And this was done before the face of all the lords and ladies, and his treasures were restored to him, and the lord placed his daughter’s hand in the hand of Darby, saying: “Take her, she is your wife; only free me from the horns.” Then Darby brought forth the golden apples, and they all ate, and the horns fell off; and he took his bride and his treasures and was in the act of carrying them home, when his mother called out: “Darby, what are you doing there asleep with the sun high in the heavens, and the cows breaking into the cabbage garden?” Darby rolled himself over, rubbed his eyes and looked up greatly disappointed. “Mother,” said Darby, what day is this?”. “It is the Ist of April, of all the days in the year,” said his mother. “Well, well,” said Darby, “If you’d only waited for a few minutes longer, you would have had me home, a gentleman, with a great lady for my wife, and now. with your cabbage garden and your cows, you have broke my luck, and here I am. and I suppose always will be an April fool.” — Uncle Rubin in Catholic Home. Steamboat Frank, a Modoc Indian who was captured at the time of the Modoc war, and who is still a prisoner of the United States, is attending, by permit of the government, the Oak Grove Seminary in Maine. He now calls himself Frank Modoc, and is studying for the ministry. He is making good progress in his studies, and is apparently a devout Christian. He is £roud of his descent from a long line of (odoc chieftains, and conducts himsv.J with true Indian dignity. A ■