Democratic Sentinel, Volume 10, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 April 1886 — The Language of the Cane. [ARTICLE]

The Language of the Cane.

To tap it on the pavement at every step, means: “Object is no money to me—l’m trying to wear out the ferule.” To poke a person in the ribs with it, who is standing up on a chair three rows ahead of the pokist at a slugging ■ match, insinuates: “Down in front.” To hurriedly slip it down the panta-loons-leg and walk along with it concealed therein, evidences that it has previously been feloniously “magnetized” from some hall-rack and the rightful owner is approaching. To point with it at a rare old painting in a picture gallery indicates that the check-boy was asleep when the visitor came through the entry-door. To carry the upper end in the overcoat pocket, with the bottom part sticking straight up in front, signifies that the nickel plate has worn off from its bogus leaden head, and the same would blacken the dudelet’s tan-colored glove if held in his hand. To carelessly but gracefully drop it denotes the exhilaration of too much high-priced fine wine aboard; while to awkwardly get it tangled up among the legs and plump the bearer on his nasal abutment siidly goes to prove a wholesale consumption of Common five-cent red, red liquor! To pedestrianize on a crowded sidewalk with it run through the akimboed elbows and across the back, with ends projecting beyond each arm, intimates that there is plenty of room out in the middle of the street for other people who don’t care to be swiped off into the gutter in passing. • To hold it in the center, with the handled portion downward, is intended by the effeminate “mower” to demonstrate this: “Aw, this stick is weally so pawsitively top-’eavy, aw, that I—nevah ’having been used to manual labah, aw, find it a widiculously weighty burden, aw.” To present it, nicely engraved, to a trusted clerk on New Year’s Day as a recognition of “long and faithful service,” conveys the sorrowful fact to the t. c. that ye employer’s act is an economical “stave-off” against his hireling’s hoped-for raise in salary.— Detroit Free Press. Six gold medals have been given to St. Jacobs Oil at World’s fairs and expositions, for being the best pain-cure. It is, itself, better than gold. It cures rheumatism and every other painful trouble. It never fails. It is said that one-half of American business and professional men over thirty years of age are bald, and that “the wearing of unventilated hats is one of the greatest causes of failure of nutrition of the hair. The beard never falls out, because it gets plenty of light and air. These are what the scalp needs also.”— Dr. Foote's Health Monthly. No DEPRESSING effects from Red Star Cough Cure. No nausea, no danger of poison. Safe, speedy cure. Only 25 cents.