Democratic Sentinel, Volume 10, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 March 1886 — Sam Jones’ Apothegm. [ARTICLE]

Sam Jones’ Apothegm.

In one of his sermons Bev. Sam Jones said: “I think the finest tombstor.e I ever saw, and the prettiest epitaph I ever saw, was when I was visiting an old friend of mine. After dinner he took me into the garden, and in the most prominent place there was erected a beautiful tombstone of white marble, in memory of his wife, and on it I read her name and the date of her de ith, and her simple epitaph was this line: ‘She made home pleasant.’ ”

* * * * Delicate diseases of either sex, however induced, speedily and radically cured. Address, in confidence, World’s Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y. “It’s stew lonesome here,” remarked the oyster at the church fair.— Merchant Traveler. At THIRTY-FIVE THE AVERAGE AMERICAN DISCOVERS THAT HE HAS AN “INFERNAL STOMACH,” and so goes into the hands of the doctors for the remnant of his life. Prevention is better than cure, but Dr. Walker’s Califobia Vinegar Bitters will both cure and prevent dyspepsia, diseases of the skin, liver, kidneys, and all disorders arising from bad blood. It makes a young man feel rather cheap to bear his sweetheart singing as he approaches the house, “Nobody Loves Me.”— Burlington Free Press. The value of thought can not bo told. Just so with the best of everything. Take Dr. Bigelow’s Positive Cure for all throat and lung troubles, if you appreciate a speedy and thorough euro. Pleasant to taka 50 cents and sl.

It is enough to take away your breath to hear of a California onion weighing nearly two pounds.— Poston Courier. Beware of worthless imitations of Dr. Jones’ Red Clover Tonic. The genuine cures headache, piles, dyspepsia, ague, malaria, and is a perfect tonic and blood purifier. 50 cents. One man is really not much better than another, and ho may behave much worse. Sufferers from Bwnchitis will find speedy relief by taking Aj’er’s Cherry Pectoral. A peculiarity of stage banquets is the great variety of supes. As a toilet luxury, Hall’s Hair Renewer never fails to give satisfaction. If a joke can make a horse laugh, why can’t it make a shay grin?