Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 January 1886 — HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR.

A tight fit—a drunken on* Darkness visible—a negro taking a sun-bath. A Russian prefers lemon-juice in his tea to sugar. No wonder they are so aciduous in their Nihilist c belief. - How wocud you like to be the cover on a Bible wlion a pretty worn *n witness in court kisses it with a smacks The only persons in the wor d who do not like to see redeeming qua itiea in the human race are pawnbrokers.— National Weekly. Ween Shakspeare wrote “My kingdom for a horse !” be showed that, with all his great knowledge, he was not ignorant of the ruling charges of the Long Branch hackman. — Puck. Queer, isn’t it? A man who will swallow any kind of a dish with an imposing French name will be scared to death if he catches a cold with a Greek or Latin title.— Lowell Citizen. it never comes but once. Her face she seeks from his gaze tj hide, And her heart is wildly beating; See, in her cheik<, how t le rich, red tide Is advancing and retreating 1 Her lips are burning with love’s first kiss— Ah! life holds few such moments as this. —Bcs'on Courier. “What do these letters stand for?" asked a curious wife of her Lusband, as she looked at his Masonic seal. “Weil, really, my love,” he replied, encouragingly, “I presume it is because they can’t sit down.” She postponed further questioning.— Merchant Traveler. “I don’t wonder that people talk of the good old times, ” said the President of the gas company. “At one time it was dark for three days and three nights on a stret ;h in the land of Egypt. What a big thing it would be for the gas companies if we could have something like that in these days!”— Boston Courier. THE BAD BOY’S FRIEND. Grandma is old and wrinkled and gray, The bloom of her beauty has faded awav. But the words of affection still fell from her tengue, And her heart Is as warm os when she waa young. She’s kind to the young, and it makes her heart glad To shield the bad boy from the wrath of his dad. Ah! let him be grateful to her while lie may, He'll lose a warm friend when she passes away. Utica Observer. j A curious sect in Russia, called the “Folk of the Godly Nest,” d g graves, which they call nests, in their earthen floors or gardens, into which they retire at certain Lines and “fast and see visions of saints and devis.” It is a queer notion. In this country “so k” can see such visions, if not worse, by simp v eating a mince-pie and a pickle before retiring to their nests. “Mrs. Primp is a beautiful woman, isn’t she?” “Yes, she is quite handsome, but they say she paints.” “Well, suppose she does, what of it?” “I, don’t like to see a woman resort to such dodges to make herself attractive." “I don’t see "why she shouldn’t. When it has got to be a'l the rage to decorate potato-mashers, scoop-shove’s, and so on, you can’t b aine a woman for giving herself a dab with the brush now and then.”— Chicago Ledger. Little Charley was presented with, one of these new brand of cheap watches which keep p etty good time, but oonsume half the existence of a Loy in winding them up. The other morning he was four hours late so - school, and when taken to task for his ta diness, he told his mother that he stopped on the way to wind up his watch, and before be had finished the job the scola a were coming home to dinner. — Nbrristown Herald. M. Delauney, a weather propheit of France, predicts several destructive earthquakes next year, and says that Saturn will present a part of his ring in the shape of a comet that will eclipse the famous comet of 1858. Delauney is not a very pleasant man to have around, but his prognostications m ght have .been worse. He might have predicted that several French “stars” would appear in this country next year.— Norristown Herald.