Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 45, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 November 1885 — Page 7

Some Frank Confessions!

“Our remedies are unreliable.” —Dr. Valentine Mott. “We have multiplied diseases.’*—Dr. Bush, Philadelphia. "Thousands are annually slaughtered in the sick-room.”—Dr. Frank. "The'science of medicine is founded on conjecture, improved by murder.” —Sir Astley Cooper, M. D. "The medical practice of the present day is leither philosophical nor common sense.” —Dr. Evans, Edinburgh, Scotland. Dr. Dio Lewis, who abhors drugs as a rule and practices hygiene, is frank enough, however, to say over his signature, “If I found myself the victim of a serious kidney trouble, I should use Warner’s safe cure because I am satisfied it is not injurious. The medical profession stands helpless in the presence of more than one such malady.” An old proverb says: If a person dies without the services of a doctor, then a coroner must be called in and a jury impaneled to inquire and determine upon the cause of death, but if a doctor attended the case, then no coroner and jury are needed, as everyoody knows why the person died!— Medical Herald.

The Boy and the Bone-Setter.

Speaking of the bone-setters recalls a good story which occurred in the north of Scotland, where one of them had risen to great fame and no small fortune by his skill. A country lad residing a few miles off had got his leg hurt at one of the local factories, and had been treated for some time oy the local medical man without any good result. His mother, who had great faith ■in the neighboring bone-setter, wanted the lad to goto him, which he declined, preferring, as he said, the “reg’lar faculty.” Eventually, however, his mother’s persuasions prevailed, and he agreed to allow himself to be taken to see Daniel E—, the bone-setter. A bed for the invalid was extemporized on a cart, and, accompanied by his anxious mother, he was, after a painful journey, taken to the town where the bone-setter resided. The leg was duly examined, and it was found necessary to haul it very severely in order, as the bone-setter said, “to get the bone in.” The lad was liberal with his screams while this was going on, but eventually the bone was “got in,” and he was told to go home and in a few days he would lie all right and fit for his work. He was lifted upon the cart again, and, with his mother seated beside him, set off for their home. “Didn’t Danny do the thing well?” said the joyous old lady. “Yes, he did, mother,” said the lad, “but I was na sic a fool as to gie him the sair leg!” The “reg’lar faculty” will, we have no doubt, appreciate the story.— Whitehall Review.

Consulting Her Father.

Young Mr. Charles H. Isidore Coshinigin, of Harlem, was plainly embarrassed. For some minutes he had rested easily in his chair, and Miss Smith of Ninth street, near Second avenue, upon whom he was calling, knew what was coming—or thought she did—and her heart-throbs were as the ticking of a clock. “Miss Smith,” he said very feverishly, “can I—er—see your father for a moment or two ?” “My father?” she repeated, with a blush, “certainly, Mr. Coshinigin,” and excusing herself, she swept from the parlor. Presently the old man came in, and, after a short conversation with Mr. Coshinigin, he stepped to the door and summoned his daughter. “It is getting late,” said Mr. Coshinigin, whose face was radiant, “and, as I have a long ride before me, I think I will say good-night. Will I have the pleasure of finding you at home on Wednesday evening, Miss Smith?” Miss Smith blushingly assured him that he would, and young Mr. Coshinigin was en route for Harlem. “Oh, papa,” she began, “did he ” and then she stopped. “You must ask no questions,” said the old man, and he smiled as he stroked his daughter’s hair fondly. Mr. Coshinigin wanted to see me in regard to a little matter which for the present must remain a secret.” “I know, papa,” pleaded the girl, “but you might give me just a little hint of what it was —just a word, papa ” “Oh, well,” he replied, indulgently, “since you must know, Mr. Coshinigin wanted to borrow five cents to get to Harlem with. ”

At the Ball of the Season.

Young Farmer (just from the country and unused to city ways)—“Good gracious, John, just look at that lady! Did you ever see anything like it ?” City Friend—“Whichone? The one in white satin? Oh, yes; she’s very charming. And what an elegant costume I Nearly all the ladies seem to be in full dress to-night ” Young Farmer—“ Full dress! Well, I should say so! Full to the brim and running over.”— Somerville Journal.

A Flat Contradiction.

Some one has told you that your catarrh is incurable. It .is not so. Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy will cure it. It is pleasant to use, and it always does its work thoroughly. We have yet to hear of a case in which it did not accomplish a cure when faithfully used. Catarrh is a disease which it is dangerous to neglect. A certain remedy is at your command. Avail yourself of it before the complaint assumes a more serious form. All druggists.

A Puzzled Cherub.

“Mother, don’t the angels wear any clothes ?” asked a little San Antonio (Tex.) girl of her mother. “No, my daughter.” “None at all, mother?” “None at all.” There was a pause, and the little cherub asked: “Where do the angels puttheir pock-et-handkerchiefs ?”— Texas Siftings. Pure Cod-Liver Oil, made from selected livers on the sea-shore, by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York. It is absolutely pure and sweet. Patients who have *OOO taken it prefer it to all others. Physicians have decided it superior to any of the other oils in .market.

The Cause of Consumption.

Scrofula, manifesting itself in blotches, pimples, eruptions, salt-rheum, and other blemishes of the skin, is but too apt by and by to infect the delicate tissues of the lungs also, and result in ulceration, thus ending in consumption. Dr. Pierce’s “Golden Medical Discovery” will meet and vanquish the enemy in its stronghold of the blood and cast it out of the system. All druggists. Monkeys, dudes, and opera singers never grow old in facial expression.— Carl Pretzel’s Weekly.

“Little, but Oh My.”

Dr. Pierce’s “ Pleasant Purgative Pellets” are scarcely larger than mustard seeds, but they have no equal as a cathartic. In all disorders of the liver, stomach, and bowels they act like a charm. Purely vegetable, sugar-coated, and inclosed in glass vials. Pleasant, safe, and sure. By druggists. Motto for bootblacks: After the rain comes the shine. Every Invalid has an opportu. nity of knowing that Db. Walker's California Vinegar Bitters acts as an irresistible specific in dyspepsia, liver complaints, kidney diseases, rheumatism, gout and all disorders proceeding from a depraved condition of the animal fluids. To decline taking a sure remedy when sick, is to court suffering and invite death. “None but the brave deserve the fare,” remarked the conductor, boldly pocketing the unregistered nickels. Hens are very exclusive; at least each one likes to stick to her own set. I had a severe attack of catarrh over a year ago, and became so deaf I could not hear common conversation. I suffered terribly from roaring in my head. I procured a bottle of Ely’s Cream Balm, and in three weeks could hear as well as I ever could, and now I can cheerfully say to all who are afflicted with the worst of diseases, catarrh and deafness, take one bottle of Ely’s Cream Balm and be cured. It is worth SI,OOO to any man, woman or child suffering from catarrh.—A. E. Newman, Grayling, Campbell Co., Mich. “Your Athiophoros sells wen and gives entire satisfaction. I always recommend it for rheumatism or neuralgia,” says A. D. Loar, a druggist of Bloomington, 111., whose experience is identical with that of hundreds of other druggists.

THE YOUTH'S COMPANION. ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR 1886. The Companion itself hardly needs an introduction to the readers of this paper. Its subscribers number nearly 350,000. This is the fiftyeighth year of its publication, and during these years it has found its way into almost every village throughout the land, until it has Income truly a member of many households. The publishers have secured for the coming volume an unusual variety of entertaining and popular articles, and its Contributors already include nearly all the distinguished Authors of this country and Great Britain, and some of those of France and Germany.

A CAPITAL SERIAL FOR BOYS, by IRON TRIALS, a Thrilling Story, by AN ANONYMOUS LETTER, by QUEER NEIGHBORS, by AWAY DOWN IN POOR VALLEY, by Adventures. ARCTIC ADVENTURES, by Lieut. GREELY, U. 8. N. THE SLAVE CATCHERS of Madagascar, Lieut. SHUFELDT. AMONG THE BREAKERS, by C. F. GORDON CUMMING. CANADIAN ADVENTURES, by E. W. THOMSON. ADVENTURES OF STOWAWAYS, by WM. H. RIDEING. MY ESCAPE from Morro Castle, by a Cuban Patriot, JUAN ROMERO. A BOYS ADVENTURES in Montana, by JAMES W. TOWLE. MY ADVENTURE with Road Agents, FRANK W. CALKINS. EXPLOITS with Submarine Boats and Torpedoes in Naval Warfare, by T. C. HOYT.

Useful and Practical. BOYS WHO CAME FROM THE FARM, H. BUTTERWORTH. VIOLIN BOWlNG—Buying a Violin, by ROBT. D. BRAIN. LOCKS AND KEYS; or Wonders of Looksmiths, H. E. WILLIS. SMALL STOCK-RAISING for Boys, by LEMUEL PAXTON. SHORT-HAND AS A PROFESSION, HERBERT W. GLEASON. HOW TO FORM a Young Folks’ Shakespeare Club, Prof. W. J. ROLFE. HOME-SEEKING IN THE WEST-Homesteading-How Land is Pre-empted—Farming and Irrigatoon—How to Secure Land by Tree Culture, by E. V. SMALLEY.

CHANCES FOB AMERICAN BOYS, by DRAMATIC EPISODES in English History, by GLIMPSES OF BOUMANIA, by A MUSIC LESSON, by the Famous Singer, OBSCUBE HEBOES, by THE VICTIMS OF CIRCUMSTANCES, by TELE SPEED OF METEORS, by OUB FUTURE SHOWN BY THE CENSUS, by ADVICE TO YOUNG SINGERS, by

/ , YOUNG MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS, by H. W. LUCY. AMONG CANNIBALS, by JOSEPH HATTON. THE PRINCE AND PRINCESS BISMARCK, by MRS. E. M. AMES. LORD TENNYSON AMONG HIS FAMILIARS, by BRAM STOKER. FIGHTING THE ARCTIC COLD, by Lieut. SCffWATKA. AN EDITOR’S EXPERIENCE IN THE WILD WEST, J. L. HARBOUR LIFE IN TURKEY, by the U. S. Minister to Turkey, Hon. S. S. COX. TRICKS OF MAGIC AND CONJURING EXPLAINED, “PROF. HOFFMAN.” BITS OF TRAVEL IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA and Santa Fe, by HELEN HUNT JACKSON. Stibscrlptlon, $1.75 a Year. Sample Copies Free. Thio will annpar (INI Y ONCF in thia nanor M yon will cut out this slip and send it to us with your name and Illis Will appear UN LT UNUt in inis paper. P<MW >«oeAddress and 81.75.wewm send you the COMPANION IA Al 4 afl FUFF from the time the subscription is received to Jan. Ist, L Sg L 111 BM HU I I 1886. and a full year’s subscription from that time to Jan. Ist, |I" 111 ■! vl lw I I HHII 1887. This offer includes (until the editions are exhausted) the ■ llmlb B V VBBIBB ly IWW DOUBLE THANKSGIVING and CHRISTMAS NUMBERS of 20 Pages each, with Colored Covers, and full-page Pictures surpassing any previous issues. No offer equal to this is made by any other paper. Send Money Order,Check or liegittered Letter. Address MASON & CO., Publishers, 45 Temple PIICO, BOStOO, MBBB. J. T. TROWBRIDGE’S NEW SERIAL STORY WILL BEGIN WITH THE FIRST ISSUE IN JANUARY. -

To restore sense of taste, smell or hearing use Ely’s Cream Balm. It cures all cases of Catarrh, Hay Fever, Colds in the Head, Headache and Deafness. It is doing wonderful work. Do not fail to procure a bottle, as in it lies the relief you seek. It is easily applied with the finger. Price 50 cents at druggists, 60 cents by malt Ely Bros., Owego, N. Y. The Howe Scales have all the latest improvements. It is true economy to buy the best. Borden, Selleck & Co., Agents, Chicago, 111. Chapped Hanas, Face, Pimples and rough Skin, cured by using Juniper Tar So ap, made by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York. The habit of running over boots or shoes corrected with Lyon’s Patent Heel Stiffeners. 3 months’ treatment for s'Jc. Piso’s Remedy for Catarrh. Sold by druggists.

40ACRES FREE—Send 10c. for particulars and reading matter to A. A. Anderson. De Smet, Dakota. CANCER Treated and cured without the knife. Book on treatment sent free. Address F. L. POND. M.D., Aurora. Kane Co., Ill, $4 A DAY, at home, Painting Signs. No experience necessary. Our Patterns make plain or shaded letters. Samples 65c. Morlan & Co M Salem, O. ORANGE HIGHTS “Healthiest Place in Florida.” Lots given to Settlers. Send stamp for information. C.B. PALMER. Gehr’s New Method Double-Entry Bookkeeping Easily learned. Only 2 books in set. “How to Keep Books” correctly, without errors. Remit 10 cents to C. GEHR, .30’2 E. 45th St., N.Y. $4 IN 2 HOURS has been and can be made by any active agent. Our discounts are liberal: 50 to 70 per cent. Murray Hill Co., 129 East 28th st- N. Y. Ma. JAMES BAGLEY, section foreman C. A M. R. R., Winkle, Ohio, had not slept A whole Night for over a year, his suffering from Neuralgia was so great. Three doses of ATHLOPHOROS cured him. Neuralgia can always be quickly cured by use of Athiophoros. Ask your druggist for Athlophoros. If you cannot get it of him do not try something else, but order at once from us. We wiU send it express paid on receipt of price, $1.00 per bottle. ATHLOPHOROS CO., 112 Wall St.,New York, The OLDEST MEDICINE in the WORLD is probably Dr. Isaac Thompson’s Celebrated Eye Water This article is a carefully prepared physician’s prescription, and has been in constant use’for nearly a centurv, and notwithstanding the many other preparations that have been introduced into the market, the sale of this article is constantly increasing. If the directions are followed it will never fail. We particularly invite the attention of physicians to its merits. John L. Thompson, Sons dt Co., TROY. N. Y.

Illustrated Serial Stories.

ATnrrrw to a unv (President C. W. ELIOT, of Harvard University. iXtwwti™ rnTTtwp J President NOAH PORTER, of Yale College. EQE ’ j President F. A. P. BARNARD, of Columbia College. P ’ny t Professor MOSES COIT TYLER, of Cornell College.

Special Articles.

Illustrated Sketches.

AGENTS WANTED in every oitv and town for Ladies’ Favorite Tracing Wheel. Will sell inevery household. Two dosen milled upon receipt of |L Sample 10c. Novelty Wheel 00.. 24 Cxmgrassßt-Boston ARlfi nircED To introduce them, we will DIU UrFEn. GIVE AWAY 1.000 SelfOperating Washing Machines. If you wantons send us your name. P. 0., and express office at once. The National Co., 25 Dey St. N. Y, HI 11 Isl MORPHINE and CHLORAL lUI 11 fIfIHAHITS EASILY CURED. I I r I I I Iwl BOOK FREE. Dr. J. C. Hol VI | V IVltnaa. Jeflterson. Wisconsin. PfIRTIRTs mills, uake Will RD Lb money grinding your Feed on the KAESTNER PORTABLE GRINDING MILLS. Over 6.500 in use. Warranted fully. CHAS. KAESTNERJtJX).. 901-312 S. Canal St., Chicago. ■ J ■ ■ RlTEactive Man or Woman In every kßf fl NI C county to tell our Rooas Salary Sl». ■Ma U " per Month and Expenses Expenses in adgfW ■■ rance. Canvassing outfit FRKE! Particulars ■ W free. Standard Silver-ware Co. Boston. Mass. 6 YOU USE STOVE REPAIRS ? Having a stock of Repairs for over 15,000 different Stoves, can we not make it to your advantage tc trade with us? Prompt shipments and satisfaction guaranteed. THE W. C. METZNER STOVE REPAIR CO.. 125 It 127 West Randolph Street, Chicago. Catalogue sent free. BEFORE YOU BUY A Wagon, Buggy or Sleigh HOTCHKIN CARRIAGE WORKS SYRACUSE. N. Y. ■ Piso’s Remedy for Catarrh Is the WSS Best, Easiest to Use, and Cheapest. ■ Also good fbr Cold in the Head, ■ Headache, Hay Fever, Ac. w cents, rap 1 ' THE MAN WflO MAKES 5 Ton Wncon Scale*' Lavarv, Stß'l Bfiarlngi, Brut Tars Bsa» and Beas Boi, for 060 and JONKS ba |Sys lb. freight—for free Price Uet mention thl. peper aid IX.. jbhes er iinohamton, Binghamton, N.Y.

J. T. TROWBRIDGE. GEO. MANVILLE FENN. M. R. HOUSEKEEPER. C. A. STEPHENS. CHARLES EGBERT CRADDOCK. Natural History. INCIDENTS OF ANIMAL Sagaoity, by REV. J. G. WOOD. NEW STORIES from the Fisheries, by Prof. SPENCER F. BAIRD. DOGS WHO EARN THEIR LIVING, by JAMES GREENWOOD. RIES of Old Trappers and Fur-Buyers, F. W. CALKINS. USING SKETCHES of Whale-Hunting, A. F. MYERS. PERILS OF PEARL DIVING, by Col. T. W. KNOX. THE ROGUE ELEPHANT, by W. T. HORNADAY. THE KEEPERS OF THE ZOO: or Anecdotes a’.out Animals, gleaned from the Keepers of the Zoological Gardens, London, by ARTHUR RIGBY.

THE MARQUIS OF LORNE. JAMES ANTHONY FBOUDE. THE QUEEN OF BOUMANIA CHRISTINE NILSSON. CANON FARRAR. WILKIE COLLINS. BICHABD A PROCTOR. FRANCIS A. WALKER. CLARA LOUISE KELLOGG.

Entertaining. PERSONAL ANECDOTES of John Marshall, J. ESTEN COOKS. DRIFTED IN: A Story of a Storm-Bound Train, OSCAR KNOX. EXPLOITS OF AMERICAN BICYCLISTS, by BENI. F. SPENCER. A RAW RECRUIT, and What Happened to Him, A. D. CHILDS. STORIES OF LETTER-CARRIERS, by T. W. STARKWEATHER, THE PERILS OF PRECOCIOUS CHILDREN, Dr. W. A. HAMMOND. A BOY at the Battle of Fredericksburg, by THOS. S. HOPKINS. THE “CRITTER BACK” REGIMENT, and Other Tales of Old Campaigns, by AMOS MURRAY.

a# AT AL T BITTERS, If you wish to be relieved of those terrible Side Headaches and that miserable Sour Stony* ach. It will, when taken according to dir", tions, care any case of Sick. Headacha or Sour Stomach. It cleans the lining of stomach and bowels, promotes healthy action and sweet secretions. It makes pure blood and gives it free flow, thus sending nutriment to every part. It is the safest! speediest and surest Vegetable Remedy ever invented for all diseases of the stomach and liver. J. M. Moore, of Farmington, Mich., says: My suffering from Sick Headache ana Sour Stomach was terrible. One bottle of Hope and Malt Bitters cured me. Do not get Hops and Malt Bitters cos. founded with inferior preparations of similar name. For sale by all druggists. HOPS & MALT BITTERS CO, Detroit, Mich msg-a S"/a Q a n|A%>Learn liereandearu r tUCVsn Ar IT T good pay. Situations I furnished. Write Valentins Bros., Jansßville,Wi|, ftnillMfl Morphine Habit CiiredinlO urIUM PATENTS Hand-Book FREE ■fl I fell I R. 8. &A. P. LACEY, Patent Att’ya, Washington. D. O. jdflgfe R. U. AWARE HmMmA that EggJ Lorlllard’s Oilmax Ph# bearing a red tin too ; that Lorlllard’s Rose Leaf fine euit; that Lorlllard’s Navy Clippings, and that Lorlllard’s Hnufl’a, are the best and cheapest, quality considered ? C.N.C. No. 46-85 WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS, VV please any you sow the advertisement in thia paper.