Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 October 1885 — A Man of Ability. [ARTICLE]

A Man of Ability.

“You want a situation as conductor, do you ?” said the president of the road. “Yes, sir,” the applicant replied. “Have you the necessary qualifications for such a responsible position ?” “I am sure I have, sir.” “Well, suppose your train should meet with a serious disaster in which a number of passengers would be L-iied and a large amount of property destroyed, what action would you take in such a case?” “I would telegraph the newspapers that the accident was of little importance and then send word to the president of the road to sell the stock short.” “H’m,” replied the president, “I am afraid those are not the proper qualifications for a good conductor, but you are a man of ability, I see. We want a first-class superintendent. You can consider yourself engaged as superintendent of the road at a salary of $lO,000 a year.” —Philadelphia Call, Kentucky Fried Chicken. —After thoroughly washing the chicken drain all the water off; never let chicken soak in water. When you are ready to fry it take a clean towel, lay it on the table, lay the pieces of chicken on it and turn the towel over them so as to soak up all the moisture; then pepper and salt it and dip lightly in flour; fry in lard and use plenty of it; lard is better than butter to fry chicken in. Have your frying pan hot when you put the chicken in, and give it plenty of time to cook; when it is done, if it is not browned evenly set it in the oven a few minutes, take it up as soon as done; never let it stand in the grease. To make the gravy, put a sufficient quantity, of flour in the grease to make a thin paste, and stir it until it is perfectly smooth, then put in sweet milk until it is the right consistency; don’t get it too, thick, and let it boil about five minutes, and season to taste; then pour it ovei the chicken.

One of the reasons Donavin’s Tennesseeans are so popular is because their program is so varied that all tastes get something to please them. Sacred, secular, classic and mirthful music, and no long tedious waits during the performance. You are sure to be pleased. Go.

mi on your overcoat or you won't feel it when you go out,” said the landlord of a Western inn to a guest who was sitting by the fire. “ That’s what I’m afraid of,” returned tho man. The last time I was here I laid off my overcoat. I didn’t feel it when I went out, and I haven’t felt it since.” “ Charlie, have you got a hooked nose?” “Yes, darling,” answered Charlie, smiling, “ I’m afraid it is a little liable to that criticism.” “Well, I never should have noticed it,” she added, indignantly, “if that horrid Spriggs girl across the way hadn’t told me to ask you if yon wouldn’t like to sell it for a syphon.” When little Minnie was 2 years old she asked for some water one night. When it was brought she said, “Papa, can’t you get me some fresh water? This tastSs a little withered.” Her little sister Belle had been acustomed to a light in the room, and waked in great distress, crying, “Me can’t see, Aunt Bessie; my eyes are all blowed out.” At a juvenile party a young gentleman about 7 years old kept himself from the rest of the company. The lady of the house called to him: “Come and play and dance, my dear. Choose one of those pretty girls for your wife.” “Not much I” cried the young cynic. “No wife for me I Do you think I want to be worried out of my life, like papa?” He read in a newspaper paragraph the statement that “ The child is father to the man,” and straightway went and asked his mother if that was true ? “ Yes, my son,” she answered, “it may seem a little strange to you, but it’s true.” “ Well, mamma,” responded the inquisitive youth, “whyis it if I’m papa’s father that he always licks me and I never lick him ? ” The minister’s man of a certain preacher followed him up one day to close the pulpit door as usual There was something wrong with the lock, and the door would not “sneck.” John, losing his patience, said, “I think the devil’s in the pulpit.’ Just at this mo ment the minister lifted his bowed head, and, turning seriously on him, said, “ Surely, ye dinna mean me, John ? ”