Democratic Sentinel, Volume 9, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 September 1885 — Page 6

HOMEOPATHIC BROTH. Take a robin’s leg, (Mind! the drumstick merely: Put it in a tub Filled with water nearly; Set it out of doors, In a place that's shady; Let it stand a week (Three days for a lady); Dip a spoonful in '1 o a r.ve-pail kettle; It should l>e of tin, Or perhaps bell-metal; Fill the kettle up. Put it in a-boiling: Skim the the liquor well, To prevent its oiling; For thickening and for salt, Take of rice one kernel; Use, to light the lire. Any but our journal. Let the liquor boil Halt an hour-no longer. (If it’s for a man, You can make it stronger.) Should you now desire. That the soup be flavory. Stir it once around With a stick of savory. If of thyme you choose Just to put a snatch in, ’Twill be flavored fine If you dip your watch in. When the broth is done, Set it out and jell it; Then, three times a day. Let the patient smell it. If he chance to die, Say 'twas nature did it; But if he gets well, Give the broth the credit. -Written by an Allopath.

GETTING IN AT NIGHT.

BY JIM JONES.

The door was locked when I got home, and how to get in without waking up “the governor” was the difficulty. 1 knew he’d give me “particular tits” if he knew 1 was out after ten, and the clock had , ust struck one. The back ' yard was an impossibility, and but one chance remained. 'J here was a porch over the i'rorft door, the roof of which was but a few<reet below two windows, j One of them I knew was fastened down, ■ and the other opened from a bedroom, which might or might not ba occupied. An old maiden sister of Tom’s wife had arrived on the second day, and it was very probable that she was in that r'oin; but I knew the bid was in the farthest corner from (lie window, and hoped I should be able to get in without waking her, and then I had comparatively ,an easy thing of it. So, getting a plank from a neighboring board-pile, I rested it against the eavoj -of the shed, pulled off my shoc« put them in my pocket, and the® “cooned up.” All right so far, but I thought it necessary, in order not to arouse any suspicions in the morning, to remove the plank; so, dragging it up, I threw oil’ the end, and down it went with an awful clatter on a stray dog who had followed me for two or three squares, who immediately set up the most awful howl a whipped hound ever gave tongue to. That started half a dozen other dogs in the neighborhood barking. A mocking-bird in the window above commenced singing as if he intended to split his throat at it, and an old woman, in her night clothes, with a candle in her hand, appeared at her window across the street. I knew I was safe as far as she was concerned, but if any one came to our windows the candle gave enough ligbt to very prob ably discover me.’ Nobody did come, however, and the old lady, after peering up and down the street for a minute or more, popped her head in and retired. The mocking-bird kept up its eternal whistle, and it was fully half an hour before it and the dogs settled ■down and gave me a chance to move. Creeping slowly along the wall till I reached the window, I put my hands on the sill, spring in, and, with my ■ head and shoulders within, and my legshanging out, I stopped to listen. Yes, she was-in that room, for I could hear her breathing. After waiting for a minute I cautiously drew up one leg, then the other, slewed them arouijd, and putting them down to the floor, ras just conscious that I had stepped on something soft and yielding, and •was about withdrawing them when another yell broke out at my feet; the old maid jumped up crying “Murder,” and the dog and the mocking-bird started again. 1 saw through it all; I had “put my foot in it,” more ways than one. A little darky was lying on he? back under the window, and I had stepped on her face, and of course, woke her up. I decided- in a flash what to do. The house would be aroused, and I caught, to a certainty, unless I could get to my room before the governor was up. But, I had not a moment to lose, for the little nigger was yelling, and the woman screaming, so I started for the door, made three steps, and struck a chair, tumbled over, and, of course, made the awfulest racket you ever heard of in the “dead hour of night” in a peaceable house; the nigger and the old maid screamed louder than ever; the mock-ing-bird whistled line a steam engine, and the dogs fairly made a noise as loud as the Anvil Chorus.” I reached the door, however, swiftly and quietly opened it, and just got out in time to see the old gentleman open his door, with a candle in h s hand, and •come hurrying up the stairs. Not a moment was to be lost. There was a wardrobe near where I stood, and I sprang behind it. Lip came the governor, reached the door, went in, and in the meantime there were all sorts of confusion and inquiry down stairs as to what was the matter. Nobody else came up, though, and from where I stood I heard every word of inquiry in the rooms. Of course they could jiot make much of it. The little nigger wes too much frightened and too sound the time to understand the

truth, and the upshot of the business was that they concluded she had been dreaming, and the governor, after giving her a sound spanking, and explaining the matter to the aroused neighbors, from the window, went down to his room again. So far, so good. I now had to go I down stairs, reach the back door, unbar it, get into the back y ird, and make for my room, which was in the second story of a back building that stood unconnected with, and about a dozen yards from, the main one. After giving everybody anoiher half-hour to settle down again, I started. Boys, did you ever try to go up or down a pair of stairs at night without making a noise? You may try all sorts of ways, but every step is sure to creak, each with a peculiar noise of its own. and loud enough, you are certain, to awaken everybody. I had gotten nearly to the bottom, when a little fat dog came trotting along the entry toward me, barking furiously. A suppressed “Come here, sir; you, Zip!” silenced him. for he recognized me; but the noise started the mocking-bird, and the dogs in the neighborhood having learned to take the cue, of course all joined chorus for the third time. I ran along the passage, reached the door, and unlocked it, just as the governor, roused the second time, opened his door, and, seeing a man escaping from the house by the back way, of course cried “Thieves! Thieves!” and made a rush after me. I was too quick for him, though, opened the door, sprang out, and broke for the door which opened into the room below mine, and had just reached it when crash! within a foot of my head went a brick, and another voice, that I knew belonged to next-door-neighbor Tomp kins, joined the governor in the cry of “Thieves! Murder! Thieves!” I was safe enough, hushing up the stairs I shelled myself quicker than I ever did before or since, and was in bed and sound asleep in less than half' a minute. Wasn’t there a row, thourrh? I never heard so many dogs before; the mocking-bird, of course, outdoing all previous efforts; the chickens even be gan to crow. Tompkins, next door, was hallooing “Thieves!” and calling the governor. I could hear screams and all sorts of noises among the neighbors, until at length the old gentleman’s voice was heard in the yard, calling “John! John!” John was sound asleep—snoring, “John!” cried the old man in a voice that would have roused a man from an [epileptic fit. I judged it prudent to wake then, [and, jumping from my bed, raised my window, and, rubbing my eyes, and looking particularly frightened (which I was), asked: “Why, father, what in the world is the matter?” “There’s thieves in the house,” was the reply. “Get your gun and come down, and be quick. He’s in the room below you, John!” hallooed Tompkins. “I’m certain of it. I saw him as he ran down, and threw a fire-brick at him. I know he didn t pass that door, Mr. J ones. ” I was directed to “look out for myself.” The governor stood sentinel at the door below, armed with a club, while Tompkins had five minutes to collect aid from the neighbors, and in less than half that, so thoroughly was every house alarmed, there were a dozen or more men in the yard armed with guns, pistols, and sticks. The governor led the attack. Opening the door he called: “Come out here, you house-breaking scoundrel! If you attempt to run or resist, I’ll blow your brains out.” Nobody came, however. “Watch the door,” was the order, “while I go in;” and I was told to “look sharp,” and “shoot the rascal if he came up stairs.” A momentary search was sufficient to satisfy everbody that the thief was not in the room. “He’s up stairs, then,” cried Tompkins, “for I’ll take my Bible oath he didn’t pass that door.” So up stairs they (rooped, but I had lit a candle by that time, and there was no burglar there. The strictest search, even in looking under a boot-jack, didn’t show the slightest trace of him. The yard was next examined, then the house, and everybody being tolerably well satisfied that he had escaped, the neighbors dispersed to their several homes; but I was appointed sentinel for the rest of the night, and ordered not to sleep on my post under penalty of a flogging. The articles missing, on a thorough investigation next day, were two pies and the old lady’s silver thimble. The I thimble turned up in a week or two, i being discovered under the corner of the carpet, but the pies have never i been accounted for to this day. I On oath I could have given very I material testimony as to the disposition of the stolen property, but as the case did not come before the courts I remained quiet. Didn’t the local editors boom,though ? I One of themeiongated himself through I a half a column, and headed the item: [ “A Diabolical and Atrocious Attempt at Burglary and Murder,” describing, with graphic particulars, the fiendish a 1 tempt to throttle Miss—— and her servant, complimented the “coolness and resolut on of R, Tompk ns,. Esq.,” and perorated with a withering anathe- ; ma on the want of vigilance displayed I by the police. I It was tun for me to see with#what ; wide-awake sagacity the watch used to v sLoj>. at the. doo£ apd.listen.4urin,g their nightly rounds for months after; and you could not have a youngster to go under the porch, on any account, after-daikt The-exoitetnent died away, though, after awhile; but I’ll never forget the night I tried to get in with- | out making a noise. *

WATERLOO.

A Short but Interesting Description of the Great Battle. The battle of Waterloo was fought June 18, 1815, between the allied British, Netherland and German troops under Wellington and the French under Napoleon. On June 1G Napoleon had attacked the Prussians under Blucher at Ligny and forced them to retreat toward Wavre, and Marshal Ney at the same time attacked the British and Dutch forces at Quatre Bras, but was forced to retire after an engagement of five hours. Napoleon’s object, however, which was to prevent a union of the Prussians with Wellington’s main army, was partially gained. The latter commander, having learned the next morning of Blucher’s repu’se, moved on to Waterloo, expecting that the Prussian commander, according to previous arrangement, would join him there as speed.ly as possible. On June 17 Napoleon also moved toward Waterloo with the main body of his army, having directed Marshal Grouchy with 34,000 men and ninety-six guns to pursue Blucher’s command toward Wavre. Both armies bivouacked on the field of Waterloo, and the next morning Napoleon, confident that Grouchy would prevent the arrival of the Prussians, delayed attack until the ground should become dry, a heavy shower having fallen on the day previous. The forces under Well ngton occupied a semicircular ridge a mile and a half in length, and the French were on an opposite ridge, the two being separated by a valley about 500 yards wide. The plan of Napoleon was to turn the allied left, force it back upon the center, and gain possession of the enemy’s line of retreat. To draw off Wellington’s retreat to his right, French troops were sent about eleven o’clock to attack the cha- ■ teau of Houguemont, which the £n- l glish had fortified. After a fight of more than two hours this was still in l the possession of its defenders. About I one o’clock a Prussian corps under i Bulow was seen approaching on the I French right, and Napoleon finding it ; necessary to send 10,000 men to check their advance, was obliged to change the plan of battle. He therefore ordered a fierce attack upon the allied center. Wellington massed his troops here, and the battle was obstinately maintained for five hours, with varying success to the participants, both com- I manders hourly expecting re-enforce- i ments. Wellington was waiting for ' Blucher and Napoleon for Grouchy. ! The French at last were gaining ground; I the allied troops in the center were i wavering under Ney’s impetuous onslaughts, Gen. Durutte had forced back the left, and Bulow’s troops on the right had been forced to yield the position they had taken. Now, however, there were rumors that Blucher’s army was approaching, and the allies again rallied. At seven o’clock Napoleon, despairing of the approach of Grouchy, determined to decide the day by a charge of the Old Guard, which had been held in reserve. At this stage the advance of Prussian horse on the allied left forced back Gen. Durutte’s troops, and the Old Guard formed in square to cover this retreat. Ney’s division, surrounded, made a gallant struggle—their brave leader, stfll unwounded, though five horses had been shot under him, heading them on foot, sword in ’ hand—but were forced to give way. | The Old Guard held their ground i against overwhelming numbers.. Final- 1 ly, when five squares were broken, the Emperor gave the order to “fall back.” I The cry “The Guard is repulsed” I spread consternation through the I French army and threatened to turn re- j treat into precipitate flight. Napoleon, I seeing this, reformed the Guard in ! order to give a rallying point for the fugitives. Failing in this, he declared that he would die within the square, but Marshal Soult hurried him away. The heroic band, surrounded, was bidden to surrender. “The Old Guard dies, but never surrenders” is the reply popularly attributed to Gen. Cambronne, and with the cry of “Vive I’Empereur I” the remnant of the Guard made a last charge upon the enemy ahd perished almost to a man. The forces of Blucher being now upon the field, the rout of the French was complete, and the Prussians pursued the fleeing troops, capturing guns and men. There is no doubt that the failure of Grouchy to come upon the field caused Napoleon to lose his last great battle. It was subsequently asserted that that Marshal was bribed, but there seems to be no real foundation for so base a charge, j The trouble was that he had been I ordered by Napoleon to follow the Prussians toward Wavre and thought it necessary to follow the strict letters of his instructions. Before he reached ' the village the main body of the Prussian force was on its way to Waterloo, but one division had been left there to occupy his attention. Engaged in skirmishing with this, he paid no attention to the advice of his subordinate generals, who, hearing the terrible cannonading at Waterloo, besought him to go ' to the aid of the army there. Napoleon, i believing that he was either holding ; back Blucher’s forces or was hotly pursuing them, did not recall him to the main army, •and the decisive battle was lost. Grouchy was summoned before a council of war, but the court declared itself incompetent to decide his case, and nothing further came of‘it.— lnter Ocean.

Birds and Their Feathers.

The best time for seeing perfect feathering is in tlie tvin‘ter,' to the spring; then, after a very short honeymoon, the birds settle down to a few weeks their tail-sea. hers are rough and iiregular, their pinions worn and

ragged from constant contact with the nest in sitting; and by the time their new suit comes at midsummer they are more than ready for it. The spring, of course, is the climax of a bird’s life. With scrupulous care he arranges hourly his feathers, all their markings are seen to perfection, and many peculiarities of decoration are then and then alone displayed. The fleshy combsand protuberances become scarlet and enlarged, and any one who has not seen a pheasant or cock grouse at this season of love would be astonished at the alteration from his normal state. The cock pigeon swells that part of his body most adorned with iridescent feathers to make the grandest show he can; and every humble finch and small bird brushes up his modest finery. It is , said that not a single bright-colored feather on any bird’s body is left idle or undisplayed. If birds have bright- ' colored tails they raise them to t .eir highest and fullest and abase their : heads; if bright heads, then they shake out their plumes, their eye distends, and their wattles swell; and if, as in some cases, they have large tippets of feathers falling od both sides of the head, they contrive the bewilded hen shall see all the glories of both sides at one glance, and so drag all the feathers of the far side round to the near side, making such a huge mass that the face is nearly hidden, and the projecting beak wlone shows where the head must be. All this done for the hen’s benefit, and it is only done when she is •near; it all turns on her existence, and ceases if she be absent.— Clearies Whimper, in Magazine of Art.

American and Foreign Soldiers.

It is no doubt true that the FrancoPrussian war is the only one of modern times which can be compared to our own civil war in size of the armies engaged, or in number of men killed and wounded. For instance, in the three battles near Metz—Courcelles, Aug. 14; Thionville, Aug. 1(5, and Gravelotte, Aug. 18, 1870—the Germans lost on the first dhy 4,000 in killed and wounded; on the second, 17,000, and on the third, 25,00 >, a total of 40,000 men from an entire fighting force of about 200,000. The French had 130,000 men, and lost a total of 40,000 men. In the bloody battles before Sedan, Aug. 20, 30, and 31, McMahon had a force of 150,000 men, and the Prussians had 250,000. The loss is variously stated, but was probably about 20,000 for the Germans and 25,000 for the French, including all wounded. We can give no figures for our own war more probably accurate than those of Gen. Dodge in his “Bird’s.eye View of Our Civil War.” For four battles, which we may regard as typical engagements, these are as follows:

UNION. : CONFEDERATE. ■S . . 33 . •d ad co DATE AND BATTLE « « a a 'g h ci; O Ofc -Z " fl to O fl so W to S to to ? April 6-7, ’62, Shiloh 53,000 13,000 50,000 11,003 May 1-4, ’63,thancello.sville 125,000 17,001 58,060 13,000 July 1-3, ’63, Gettysburg ... 80,003 23,000 70,0C0 25,000 Stone River. Dec. _3i,'62-Jan.2, 6^.. 43,03 12,000'1 47,00 i 10.000 In connection with these figures we may quote Dodge’s comparison of American and foreign soldiers. The percentages that he gives cover sufficient ground to be a most valuable proof of his point. He says: “To attempt to give the American his proper place among the soldiers of other nations, ancient, or modern, is an inquiry demanding a volume by itself. But the stanehness of the American in ’battle may be measured to a fair extent by a few statistics. Courage is only one of the necessary virtues of the soldier, but it is an important one, and if we take the average number of killed and wounded in the prominent battles of the past century and a half, we arrive p.t a conclusion reasonably secure. The following percentages of men killed and wounded are from the most reliable sources. They comprise the most noted battles since 1745. Only those whosr statistics are wanting are omitted: Percentag Up to Waterloo, the Prussians in eight battles lost in Killed and wounded of the numi» r engaged (mostly Frederick si.. .18, At Koniggratz they 105t.0336 Up to \vaterloo the Austrians lost in seven battles 1117 Since in two 1 attles 0356 Up to Waterloo, the French lost in nine battles iNapoleon'si .2238 Since, in nine battles 0883 The Germans, s.ncel74s, in eight bat- • 1e5.1153 The English, in four battleslo36 During our civil war, the Union forces lost in eleven battles 1283 The Confederate forcesdig “It thus appears that in ability to stand heavy pounding, since Napoleon’s Waterloo campaign, the American has shown himself pre-eminent. Of course there are other factors in the problem. But these figures may surely be looked upon with pride—even if no absolute conclusion can be drawn from them.”— Inter Ocean.

From an examination of several skulls found in North and South America, and believed to have belonged to inhabitants living before the glacial period, Dr. Kollman concludes that the races of that ancient epoch are those of to-day, the same cranial and facial forms being found, in spite of lapse of time and change of environment. Angle-worms, fish, otc., are often caught up into the clouds by revolv ng storms, and then dropped again many miles from the place where they were taken up. Small fish have often been found in puddles of water in villa <e streets, to the astonishment of people who are unacquainted with the phenomenon. Singers should be above climatic influences. It is easy for them to have a change of air,

HUMOR.

A cow has two lips, but cowslips and tulips are not at all similar.— -Merchant Traveler. A cyclone is like a waiter. It carries everything before it.— Carl Pretzel’s Weekly. When the heart is full the lips are silent; when the man is full it is different.— Texas Siftings. It isn’t to be relied upon that every pharmacist would make a good farm assistant.— Yonkers Gazette. “Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home,” sing the disappointed office-seekers. — Brooklyn Times. Give the devil a wide berth, and he will give the wide berth reserved for you to another.— White Ha I Times. Mark Twain is said to come of a long-lived race. Many of his jokes show their paternity and have a family characteristic.— Bos ton Times. The longest word used in Eliot’s Indian Bible is Weetappesittukgussunnookwehtunkquoh. It makes a firstclass clothes line.— St. Paul Herald, A correspondent writes us 500 words on a postal-card,announcing that she has just recovered from an attack of failing health. Our attack has just come on.— Chicago Current. A scientist studied neology. His wife studied paleontology: Their children detest Triiobit- s and the rest, But witu hook and line learn ichthyology. Youih's Ooini/aiiiou. The new Bible expression, “O sheol,” may do for the clergy to expatiate upon, but it can never be recalled like the old word when a man uses his thumb-nail for a screw-driver.—New-man Independent. “Are you going for business or pleasure?” said a gentleman to his friend about to depart for Paris. “For pleasure.” “Does your wife accompany you?” “I told you I was going for pleasure.”— Boston Post. “Are your windows open toward Jerusalem?”’asked a representative of the Salvation Army add:essirg ayoung man. “Well, I guess so,” was tne reply; “there’s a row of pawnbrokers’ shops right opposite our house.”—Boston Courier. A scientist says that tie number of stars seen by the naked eye is not more than 1,500. All the same, there are occasions when a man is willing to wager that he saw 150,000,000,0d0 stars with the naked eye—to say nothing of a few million comets and meteors. — Norristown Herald.

“Never go back,” advises a writer; “what you attempt, do with all your strength.” How about a man who has attempted to catch a train but failed ? Is he never to go back? Must he wait, no m dter how long, for the next one? Ah, we fear that abstract philosophy is scarcely applicable to the events of bur concrete existence.— Lowell Citizen. “Look here, boy,” said the pompous Deacon Truly good to a newsboy whom he found dancing a jig* on the pavement last Sunday, “do you know whose day this is ?” “I may be a little off, ” answered the arab, squinting impudently through one eye to his questioner, “but 1 guess you don t carry it in your vest pocket.”— Washington Hatchet. “Call again,” said the man to the grocer, "You must call some other day.” And tne gr< err quietly tolded the bill And silently stole away. “Now, I wonder,” thought the grocer, "Il he s busted and cannot pay. He certainly seems to be honest; It's too bad to be that way.” The grocer went with his wife that night To see a two-sailling play, And in the iive-doliar private box Sat the man who could not pay. —Toledo American. HER SILENCE. She moves in a myster.ous way. Ignoring callers, day b / day; With linn resolve and solemn face, With quiet air and queenly grace. Following up each nrm endeavor, Seldom conversing—smiling never. Her meals she crunches ail alone, What, think you, maxes th.s maiden Lair Move with a san and solemn air? Why does she never smile again On augntin range 1 f mortal ken? Ask ot her dentist, he can tell. He understands her reason we 1; He knows what all her grief’s about— All her front teeth have been pulled out! —Chicago Weeiciy Sun,

BROWN BREAD.

[From the Ch'cago Ledser. | Woman is most muscular in the heart. The man who is so busy that he has no time to laugh needs a vacation. Get the cash from the man who never has a kind word for anybody. It is said that a divorce lawyer would starve in J apan. Then by all means let him be sent there. Some people have so little enterprise about them it seems a marvel the birds of the air don’t build nests in their hair. , Shakspeare may rank pretty well with folks who have money in the bank, but people who battle with the wolf at short range have more of a preference for Bacon. Some people claim that luck is pluck, but you can find an editor with a poor circulation a good deal easier than you can bring the luckless million to view it in that way. The man who breaks in a new set of store teeth may not have the blood of martyrs in him, but he has about everything else needed to insure success in that business. „ Somebody wants to know why pretty women generally marry homely men. We have a clinging belief that fit is done to give their own beauty the bene J fit of contrast. There is considerable similarity in one particular between the lo ust and a growing boy. It is supposed that a locust devours three times its own weighs every fifteen days.